Just a Kiss
by 2random021
Summary: Renesmee is eighteen and finally graduated. She's ready to spend her life with Jacob Black, but he has other plans. Rated T for language and sexual terms. ALL HUMAN.
1. Prologue

**Just a Kiss**

**Summary- Renesmee is eighteen and finally graduated. She's ready to spend her life with Jacob Black, but he has other plans.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me. It all belongs to Stephanie Meyer. However I am burrowing these characters to make my story line. Except some characters in this story will belong to me. **

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**Prologue**

I cried as the tears fell down my face. I sat there in my bed in my red lacy bra and my black shorts. Tonight's evening was supposed to be special, but Jacob had refused. I was sitting here like an idiot, crying. "Why?" I croaked. "Why won't you do this?"

The tears fell harder down my face. Jacob, who was wearing only his boxers, sat on the floor, looking down as he said this, "I'm sorry," and then goes, "Renesmee, I love you with all my life. I know we graduated today. We're eighteen, but I have other plans. I want to be with you forever, but I feel like I have to keep this promise that me and my mom made."

Jacob looked at the floor as I sobbed and crawled into Jacob's arms and cried. "What did you promise her?"

"It doesn't matter," he said as he hugged me in his arms. Then he said those words that cause me a world of grief? "But I'm going to the army."

"W-w-what?" I sputtered. "No! You can't! You c-c-could die! Oh m-m-my god! Please don't go! I don't want to lose you, Jacob Black! I love you!" I yelled as I buried myself into him and cried.

"I'm sorry; I'm leaving in a week. I knew this for months."

"Please! Don't!"

"I'm sorry."

That was the end of the conversation. He was leaving and that was it.

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**This is my first story ever. I would like to know what you think of it. Give me you're honest opinion. I would like to thank _Twipotterfreak28, _she's been a lot of help for the first ten chapters, she did a good job editing. I thank her. I also thank ___gracattack_ who helped edit some chapters. I like to thank them both. Currently looking for beta reader...so if you know someone, please tell me.**

**So please tell me your opinion on this story by reviewing! Thank-you!**


	2. Chapter 1 Gone

**Hey!**

**Here's you're Fourt of July present! Happy Late Fourth of July!**

******Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me. It all belongs to Stephanie Meyer. However I am burrowing these characters to make my story line. Except some characters in this story will belong to me.**

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**Gone**

**Chapter 1**

_I'm miles from where you are,_

_I lay down on the cold ground_

_I pray that something picks me up_

_And sets me down in your warm arms_

_**Set the Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol**_

_Year 2011_

Jacob was leaving today. He was leaving and that was going to feel like forever to me. He was the love of my life. The only person I kissed, the only guy, who I let touch me. Jacob was the love of my life, the only person I have ever loved. And he was leaving.

Billy, his father, stood there and hugged him. "Jake, I want you to know, if you need to talk, I'm here in case your girlfriend breaks up with you by sending those damn Dear John letters."

Jake nodded as he listened to the words he spoke. Billy never really approved of our relationship, but Jake told me how his mother would have loved me. Jake said the only reason why his father didn't really like me, was because I reminded him too much of his wife, who died some years back. I didn't really hear much about his mother. All they said was, she died, and I was somewhat like her.

Once his father is done talking to him he turns toward me and smiles. I started crying. "God, you're making me cry again." I hug him tightly as I can. "I love you Jacob Black, always remember that. I'll always be waiting for you."

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I love you too. You belong with me. I hope you'll be waiting, but I completely understand if you go for another guy," he whispered. "Here's what's happening for the schedule I can tell you about. I'll be training for twelve weeks, I'll be on secret stuff for about twenty weeks, and then another one for about twenty weeks as it looks. The next time I'll see you is in a year." I look down and cry as I see my shoes, my black converse. It reminded me how Jacob may die out there.

"I'm going to miss you so much," I say as I hug him again.

Without warning, Jacob kissed me right in front of his dad. He never did that because he was embarrassed to. After a minute he stopped and hugged me as he kissed me on the top of my head. "I love you Nessie."

A big speaker went on and said, "Everyone board the plane, now, it's taking off in a few minutes." I hug Jacob one more time as he pecks me on the lips. Then Billy gives Jacob a hug as he leaves to get on the plane.

"Renesmee, I want you to know that Jacob will be fine. I don't think he'll die, I think he'll live." I give him a small smile as we both walk out to our own cars and head separate ways.

"Hello dear," said my mom, Bella Cullen, as I walked inside the front door. I smile and wave. "So Jacob's gone for now. Do you know when he's possibly coming back?"

"He said in about a year. Why can't it be sooner?" I questioned as I started to make some macaroni and cheese in the microwave. My dad, Edward Cullen, walks in the room as he sees me and mother sitting on the couch. He never did approve of Jacob, he never liked him.

"So is Jacob gone?" he asked right away as I nod and start to cry on mom's shoulder.

"Dad, I know you don't like him. You think he was going to force me in sex but I didn't do it with him. I wanted to but he said no and told me he was going to the army! The goddamn army!" I yelled as I put the bowl of food down and run to my room.

I took out my journal and wrote:

_Letter 1_

_Dear Jacob,_

_I love you with all my heart. You're all of what I think about right now. Everyone keeps asking if you're gone or…. I don't know something unusual. But I love you. I want you here. I know it sounds selfish. I know other people in the world need you in the army, but I need you more. You're the love of my life. I love you. Remember our first date? We went to that ice cream place in Seattle. We got kicked out of there because we kept throwing ice cream at each other. I remember you got mint chocolate chip ice cream and I got cookie dough ice cream. Soon after that we went to the music store. We were singing at the top of our lungs, soon we got kicked out of there, too. We ran to clothes store and I tried on practically everything. That was my very first date, and it was memorable. I love how you're different. We had so much fun, but now we can't have that anymore since you're off in the army. But I can still send you joy in this letter. Jacob, I promise you with all my heart, that I will never break yours. I love you to death. I want you to know; I need you and want you here. I love you. They can't break our love apart. It's amazing how I feel this way around you. I love you, my Jacob._

_Love, Renesmee_

Soon, I put my letter inside the envelope as I put the address and everything on it. I knew I would wait for Jacob. But Jacob was gone. I loved him.

So Jacob + Gone + Love from Me = Me waiting. Right?

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**Tell me what you think! :)**


	3. Chapter 2 Fresh

**Hey! Sorry for taking forever! I've been bust with volunteering at the Capital Area Humane Society. It was camps with kids and animals. It was a bunch of fun..then on the weekends I was so tired. But I accidently hit a kid with a bucket. He got hurt. I felt so bad for it. I said sorry to him like a million times. I asked if he was okay. That was on Friday. But I still feel bad for it. So let some prayers go to him that he'll be okay. I'm pretty sure he will. **

**Also...Batman The Dark Knight Rise was an amazing movie. And I know this is forever ago like ten days ago but you all know the shooting in Colorado (right for the state?). It was really sad. It's sad knowing that we can't even be safe watching a movie. Honestly...that person who did the shooting should be dead. I think we should kill him. Because he injured and killed a lot of people. Just saying...that's my opinion. But it was a really sad event. I want my prayers to go out to their families, to the ones who died and were injured. I hope they'll all be okay and healed. I pray for the families who lost their family member or friend or son/daughter/husband/wife, I hope they will get through this.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight but I am using her characters and creating a plot of my own. But I do own Macy's mom, Macy, and Lily. (So Far...) **

**Anyways...here is Chapter 3 of Just a Kiss. I hope you like it.**

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**Fresh**

**Chapter 2**

_Can't read my, can't read my_

_No, he can't re-do my poker face._

_She's got to love nobody._

_P-p-p Poker Face, P-p Poker face._

**_Poker Face by Lady Gaga_**

Best friends are always supposed to be there for you? But I wasn't such a good friend. But now I have no friends. I abandoned them. So now what? Girls always talk to their friends about problems, but I can't.

I had to say good-bye to one of my lives. I lived separate lives. One live was with my friends, and the other was with Jacob. My friends never liked Jacob. I spent too much time on Jacob's side of life. And soon I'm still there, crying my eyes out in my room. I didn't realize how important friends were till now.

I forced myself out of my bed as I took a shower and got ready for the day. I pulled on some jeans and a random t-shirt.

"Where are you going Ness?" asked my mom as I opened the front door with car keys dangling from my hand as they clatter together.

"Just to Macy's house," I say quietly. Macy was my best friend. She was so incredible, but I left her for Jacob. Macy had long blonde hair with beautiful blue eyes and flawless perfect tan smooth skin. She was so sweet, lovely, and nice. She was always helping in anything. I loved her so much. I can't see why I left her.

I pulled into her driveway. I knock, usually would have barged in, but I don't know if I'm welcome here anymore. Macy's mom opens the door. "Hi Nessie," she said as I smiled and waved. "How have you been doing?"

"I've been doing okay," I say. "I just came here to see Macy. Is she here?" I asked her mom but then I saw Macy walk by and then she stopped to see me.

"Um," said Macy but then she goes, "Mom, just go back to whatever the hell you were doing. I think Nessie and me need to talk alone." Macy put on coat and shoes as she stepped on her porch and shut the door.

"Hi Macy," I say quietly.

"No!" she snapped. "You're not coming back on my damn porch and saying 'hi' to me after ignoring me for what, like, four months! You're going to have to explain before you earn my friendship back." Macy looked at me, waiting for explanation.

"There's no explanation. I was being a bitch, leaving you for a boy…" then she interrupts.

"Hell yea you were being a bitch, following after that damn Jacob Black! I still don't see why the hell you liked him!"

"I'm sorry!" I yelled. "I was being a bitch, but I just loved him. He loved me too. I should have never left you. I should have been glad I've had you as a best friend. I miss you. He's gone for a year. I like to make-up that four months with you. We don't even need to talk about that damn boy! But please, I need a friend right now!" I yelled as I start crying.

"Renesmee," she said quietly, "tell me one thing. Did you have sex with him?" she asked as I looked at her remembering that night.

"No, the night I wanted to, he told me he was going to the army. He's gone for now, or forever," I say as I cry thinking how he may die out there. Macy hugged me.

"Well I have a lot to update you on, we only have an hour to do that because after that we're getting ready to party how we use too."

A lot has happened since I've been gone. Macy and Brian broke up, but of course Brian was using her for sex but she said no. Macy was waiting to have sex until she was married or found the right person. Brian was at the police station because he was trying to rape some girl and almost Macy.

Brian is a twenty-one year old guy. He's a dick and an asshole. But Lily, my other best friend, started to cut herself, and smoke pot since her parents split. I can't believe I wasn't with her. Now her mom made her move to her Aunt's house and gets some help.

Macy just told me everything that I did not know. It was really surprising how much I got wrapped around Jake. I loved Macy, I was so glad she forgave me.

"But yea…remember Daniel Rogers? He wants to date me and I was like, hell no!" she said as she looked through her closet.

I smiled at her, remembering all the good times we had together. "So…what are we doing tonight?" I asked as I saw her grab two dresses. They were really skimpy, sexy, and lovely.

Macy said, "We're going to have some fun, of course. We're going to do what we always do." Once I heard that, I knew what she meant.

Macy looked simple, fresh, and sexy. I looked cute, and sexy. At least that's what Macy said, but I and she were completely differently insane. Macy was a new different girl now, but still the same thing to me. Macy was always so tall in the legs; her legs were so like skinny but muscular. She's been on the soccer team since third grade. She's going to college in Florida next year in the spring, for a soccer scholarship. The thing she always dreamed of getting. Macy was amazing. She forgave really quickly. I loved her for all these reasons.

Macy was smart, amazing, forgiving, lovely, kind, and trustworthy. She was the best friend anyone would want. Macy was tan, she's tan all year long, and she was born tan. She had that long blonde wavy hair that looked good with the tans. Not those girls who had those fake tans and fake blonde hair just to look like Macy. Her skin was amazingly perfect, smooth, and flawless. Her hair was so shiny, soft, and of course smooth. Macy had those blue eyes everyone wanted. They weren't too dark or too light. They were in the middle. She was so much prettier. Plus, every guy I liked, that guy asked her out but she always said no.

As for me, I wasn't good in any sport. I tried out for soccer and literally, the first game I played, I broke my ankle. I never ever tried out for another sport. I was pale, I could not get a tan, and I couldn't even turn red. I just stayed like a ghost. I had green eyes, the plain grass eyes. Grass was so overrated and boring. My hair was just golden curls that fell across my shoulders. I was nothing close to beautiful as Macy was. But Macy said I was so much prettier. I never believed her. I held grudges, not always kind, I was smarter than Macy but she was much better at everything else.

Seeing Macy in that dress made me smile. She was beautiful. The dress was black; it went really good with her tan. It went just right above her knees, and was strapless. Her breasts popped out a little, but not too much. It was one of those shiny black dresses. She had those strappy high heels on which completed her outfit and made her look perfect.

"Oh my god, you look so beautiful Macy!" I yelled to her.

Macy looks at me and sees me in my midnight blue dress that went right below my knees. The straps were tied around my neck. The dress had sparkles all over it. It was an amazing dress. I loved the color. It fit me so well. I wore some black strappy heels with it too.

"You look amazing Nessie!" she shouted as she grabbed my hand and ran downstairs.

"Oh my dear god, look what the lord brought me. My two amazing girls," said Macy's mom. She usually let Macy do whatever she felt like doing. My parents were opposite, sometimes.

"What are you guys doing tonight?"

"Nothing really Mom," replied Macy and then said, "Just going out to party. I promise to be home by midnight. Good night Mom," she said she gave a kiss to her mother on the cheek and hugged her.

I looked down at the roads we've been down to go to parties. I watch Macy drive very smoothly. Macy doesn't drink, she doesn't get drunk. She takes a few sips and had enough of alcohol. Me, I could drink gallons and didn't get that drunk; it would take awhile for me to get drunk. But Macy sure does smoke a ton while I really just have a few and I'm done for the couple of hours.

Macy took her cigarette out as she lit it and inhales and exhaled. "Want one?" she questions as I grab one. She and I do a ton of illegal things. We are underage drinkers and used to be underage smokers, but now we're old enough to smoke. We actually shoplifted a few times, not many, but a few. I was still a virgin, as Macy is to.

"So, are you ready to have some fun?" asked Macy as she smoked. I nod, then I start looking at out at the cars. Jake loved cars; he could talk about them for hours. I smiled thinking about that thought. "Ness, Nessie, RENESMEE!" she shouted.

"I'm sorry." Macy rolled her eyes as she looked out and we were here at the party. For some reason I didn't feel like going, but I knew it was because of this: Why should I be having fun while my Jacob is in the army?

I and Macy arrive at the party and everyone is dancing and singing along. We laugh as we go right onto the dance floor as we dance till our bodies go numb. It was like old times with Macy, once again.

_Letter 2 _

_Dear Jacob, _

_Who knows where the hell you are? But I miss you. I'm sending you a letter each day. Don't write me back. I'll just be crying the whole time while I'm reading your letter. I've seen Macy again and I missed her so much. I haven't had that much fun in awhile. But I'm glad I spent most of my time with you since you went off to the army. It sucks knowing you might die out there. I miss you Jake. I need you. Now I'm sitting here in my room crying like an idiot. But I love you. Can you promise me that you'll keep me, and everyone safe? And yourself? Please don't die on me Jake. I love you with all my heart. You're my love. I promise I'll wait as long as I can for you. I'll wait ten years if I have too. I'll wait an eternity. That's how much I love you Jacob Black. _

_Love, _

_Renesmee_

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**Go check out my poll! Question: First Thoughts on Macy? **

**Tell me what you think through a review or private message! I hope you like my story. **


	4. Chapter 3 New Friend

**No one answered my poll. Oh well! Anyways...thanks for anyone who did read my story. But to let you know...I am so sorry for not updating soon enough. I plan on updating every Sunday! So...expect a chapter every Sunday because I am for sure to update Sunday because that is the day I am home all day resting usually so...Sundays are update days!**

**Thank-you for anyone who read my story. Sorry for mistakes. I won't be editing any of my chapters anytime soon but I will eventually. Thank-you. **

**Disclaimer:Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just burrowing her characters and adding a few of my own characters. **

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**New Friend**

**Chapter 3**

_And we know it's never simple, never easy._

_Never a clean break, no one here to save me.  
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,  
And I can't, Breathe, Without you,  
But I have to, Breathe,  
Without you, But I have to._

**_Breathe by Taylor Swift_**

I feel a soft gentle push as my little cousin, Abigail, wakes me. Abigail had long light brown hair with blonde high lights through it. She had green eyes like her father. Abigail is the child of my Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. I was not expecting her to wake me since she lives in Hawaii, at the ocean. I loved her.

"Abby?" I say to her as I wake up and see her wearing some jean shorts that went right above the knee and a purple tank top with butterfly design on it. She's only nine so her breasts haven't developed yet. "What are you doing here?"

"Nessie!" she said excitingly. "I'm staying here the whole summer! Jordan, Kayla, and Daisy are coming too! We're having a family thing! I'm so excited!" she shouted. How come I never knew about this? Soon I feel something coming up my throat as I run to the bathroom and puke it all out. I had way too much to drink last night. I guess you could say I haven't been drinking in awhile. After five minutes, Abby comes in but I puke again.

"Are you okay?" she asked me as she pulled my hair back for me as I puked again in the toilet. She flushes it as I take deep breaths and she goes get me a glass of water. I take a drink and puke for the last time in toilet as I swish the water in my mouth and spit it out into the sink as I drink the rest of the water. The thing that I like most about Abby is she'll help you while you're sick and she knows how to do it. Her dream is to become a doctor or a nurse. Mine was to just marry Jake, but I think I want to be a writer now, maybe.

"Are you okay?" she ask me again as she pulls me into the room she is staying in and pulls out mint gum and give it to me. I take it from her, thanking her.

"I'm fine," I reply. "Thanks Abby, my mom and dad would not have stayed by my side. It's nice having someone do it," I say as she smiles as we head our separate ways. She went downstairs as I went to my room to change.

I put some black shorts that are sort of little too short with a neon green tank top on as I put on my neon green flip flops. I go to the outside and feel the air. It actually feels nice today. So I head downstairs. "Hey Aunt Alice, Uncle Jasper," I say as I give them a hug. "How have you been doing?"

"It's great to see you Nessie!" exclaimed Alice. "Things are going fine." Mom smiled as I hug Aunt Alice again. My mom was making pancakes.

"You were out a little late last night," commented mom. "Where the hell were you?" she asked as I sat down at the table as she served breakfast. "I was worried."

"I'm sorry," I apologize. "I was with Macy and she wanted to take me somewhere so I went. I'm eighteen; I can do whatever I want to." I say as we spoke. Mom just nodded agreeing with me as my dad came in the room.

"There's that sweet daughter of ours, out partying late," he said. My dad knew I was drinking underage but he never said anything, he only inferred to it. He knew I used to smoke under eighteen but didn't say anything. He would never give me trouble; he'd always be getting me out of the trouble. But he was always grounding or telling me the bad things about it. I was glad to have Dad like him. Everyone spoke; it was nice seeing my family again. I loved them. I only get to see my cousins every summer. Each time we had an amazing time. Except last summer, I really wasn't there because I was with Jake, the love of my life.

"Are you going to hang out with us more this summer instead of with Jacob Black?" asked Abby as I blushed. "Did you party with him and make-out? Did you go _all the way_?" she asked as I laughed and blushed.

"No, he's not here this summer," I say quietly. "He went off to the army to protect our country, and I'm kind of disappointed but I'm getting over the fact and I'm going to make this the best summer ever!" I say excitingly as I can as Abby smiles and hoorays. "When are Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett going to be here?" I asked.

"They say in about two days. Grandma Esme and Grandpa Carlisle are coming in about the same time," answered my mom as I smile. "Why? Do you have plans already?" she asked.

"Can I and Abby go to the FirstBeach in La Push?" I ask as mom nods and Abby hoorays! Aunt Alice of course said yes. At least it gave them time to speak about stuff.

"Let's go Abby!" I shouted. Once we got out, it was freezing as winter but sunny. I knew Abby probably did not pack for this weather.

"It's so freezing!" she screamed. "How can you wear shorts and tank top out here?" she asked as we both started too walked toward La Push. The only reason I wanted to go was so I can remember Jake and all the times. Maybe and an excuse to stop by and see his dad so we can become fond of each other.

"Well, we don't usually, but these are the clothes for when I go visit you in your hot state, Hawaii, but we'll both be freezing, plus we'll look insane because we're wearing clothes for hot weather!"Ishouted as Abby smiles. I know she loved me; she didn't like being the odd one, so I was being the odd one with her. She loved that I did that.

We walked for what seemed like a mile to the beach. We started walking on the beach together and then Abby is saying hi to someone while they're building a sand castle. "Hi," she said. "My name is Abigail Hale; you can call me Abby though."

"Hi Abby, my name is Claire," introduced the little girl by herself. There were boys over there also; they were all about the same age.

"My name's Quil, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Hey," said a girl behind me as I jumped, like I could've jumped out of these shorts. "My name's Emily. This is my first time here and god, it's so freezing!" she shouted as I smile.

"How can you be wearing that?" she asked as she pointed.

"Well, my cousin is from Hawaii, we have to buy her warmer clothes so I wore this so we would both look insane. But hell yea it's freezing," I say as Emily laughs. "So why are you here? People come here to usually be with family or moved?"

"My parents divorced," she said. "My dad lives here, and he cheated on my mom with some twenty year old girl. I hate him," she said looking at the ground. "So Claire, she's my cousin. My Aunt lives here also. Quil is just Claire's best friend." I nod.

"I have nothing to complain about, my parents love me, they're married," I say. "The only thing I'm complaining about is how my boyfriend may die."

Emily nodded and then said, "Let me guess, your boyfriend is out in war. That sucks for you. I'm sorry. That's a lot to worry about." I nod as we stood there for awhile and watched them play.

Emily was so sweet and amazing. She had long blonde hair with blue highlight through her hair, really big brown eyes. She had light tan since she lived in Florida were my Aunt Rosalie and her family lived. She was easy-going person to speak to. That's what I love about her the most right now.

I heard Claire and Abby giggling. Without thinking I dig in my purse and pull out a cigarette as I lit it up and smoked it. "Sorry," I say quickly to Emily as she just shrugs and watches her little cousin. "So how old are you?" I asked.

"Seventeen years old, you're eighteen, aren't you?" she asked as I nod. As I finish my cigarette, I throw it on the ground and I just let myself drop to the ground as Emily sits right next to me. "You know, life will get better."

"I know, it's already getting better," I reply as I hug my bare cold legs and then I yell, "Abby!" She looks at me. "Are you ready to go?"

"No, I'm playing with my new official friends," she said with some attitude while I laughed.

"Get the hell over here now!" I yelled. "I'm freezing! We'll go shopping for clothes if you come!" I say as I walked away as Abby says bye and runs over here. "Well nice meeting you guys!"

Abby just walked by me and stared up at me. "Nessie, why do you smoke?" She asked, I was stunned from her question. "Everyone says you should never it, Daddy sometimes smokes, but he doesn't smoke as much. Mommy doesn't smoke. Do Aunt Bella and Uncle Edward smoke?" she asked.

I reply, "Not really, but at one point in my life, Aunt Bella smoked for a long period. Uncle Edward smokes a little, just like one every other day." I look down at my feet and then say, "I smoke out of habit and I will probably not stop anytime soon. Don't worry; I'll try not to be a constant smoker. You shouldn't smoke, it's not good, all it gives you is lung cancer and it doesn't help your health." Abby nods.

Abby wants to be a doctor and nurse, but she doesn't know much right now. But she knows a lot more stuff than other nine year olds do. She knows stuff about cancer, health, and she wanted to become a good doctor or nurse. I know that would be the best job for her. I believe she can be anything if she wanted to be.

At least she thought of her future. Jake changed my life, making me want to be a mom who stays home while he works. I would take care of our family. It would be fun, but that all changed. I didn't send any college applications out. But life was going to turn out fine.

Once I and Abby got home we went right in the kitchen where our parents were still talking. I put my purse on the table as I got two water bottles and handed one to Abby.

"Alice and Jasper and Abby, can we talk to Renesmee alone for a little?" my mom asked as they all nod and go to the living room. We all sat at the kitchen table in quiet for a few moments.

Finally my mom says, "We're worried, about you and your future. I think you should do online courses. Like become a creative writer, or anything."

"And you shouldn't be out late or be drinking, with Macy? I don't care what hell Macy's mom does but um…I think you should stop hang-," that's when I interrupted.

"What the hell?" I asked. "I'm trying to make life worth it, plus, you want me to go find some random boy, fall in love so I'm distracted from those things. You can't control my life, I'm eighteen now."

"Renesmee, that's what your father thinks but I don't care who you hang out with sweetie, I just want you to go to college," my mom says and she hands me four letters.

"What's this?" She just nods for me to open them as I tear one open. It was a college application, a letter sent to me from University of Washington. The next one California, New York, and music school, my mom sent college applications for me.

"Mom, I don't know what to say," I start off.

Mom hugs me as I hug back, "You have a week to decide, I believe in you Renesmee and I know what you pick you'll do right and do wonderfully at. But you'll start in fall, for the beginning of the trimester."

"Thank-you," I say and hug my mom. For once I didn't feel like I would be hopeless. We all go out to the room. "So, we should go shopping?" I say.

"Yea!" shouted Abby and Aunt Alice. They both loved shopping. Jasper just always went along with everything. My mom was nodding her head no as Edward did the same. That's why I bought my own clothes, when I went with friends.

"Let's wait till your Aunt Rosalie is here," said Bella as we all agreed. We laid back and watched TV.

_Letter 3 _

_Dear Jacob, _

_Two days seem to only go by this slow without you. I miss you to death, you've always been the one to make things go faster, but you're not here so everything is slow. I miss you so much! Ignore my last message saying to never write me, write me about everything. But my family is coming for the summer. I'm going to college! I'm going to California, New York, or Washington, or Julliard. Right now I like the idea to learn more about dancing, music, and drama. I'm thinking about going to Julliard. But please write me! I miss you and love you so much!_

_Love, _

_Renesmee _

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**Thank-you for any reviews you guys give me or thanks for reading! :)**


	5. Chapter 4 Ice Cream

**I know I said I would update Sundays usually but I haven't been and I feel bad. I'm going to do it for sure now. So I'm updating today on a Sunday. Thanks for those people who are still reading. Because I am going to start updating. So I'm sorry. **

**Thank-you for those who are reading and reviewing. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. **

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**Ice Cream**

**Chapter 4**

_Pretty, pretty please don't you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're less than, less than perfect._

_Pretty, pretty, please don't you ever, ever feel_

_Like you're nothing, you're perfect to me._

**_Perfect by P!nk (Clean)_**

My eyes began to flutter open; I jump as I see Abby just sitting in my room waiting on me to get up. Abby's hair was wet and up in a pony-tail. She wore long jeans, a light pink tank-top with a black jacket over. She also had pink converse. She was reading a book; called _The Hunger Games._

I get up out of bed and look in the mirror and see me. The hair that got frizzy, the hair that wasn't perfect, and I was just not good in looks. I've always wondered why Jacob thought I was so pretty. Then a flashback comes back to me.

_I, Lily and Macy were wearing short-shorts. Macy was wearing some black short-shorts; she was wearing just a blue sports-bra. Lily wore the neon green short-shorts and just her lacy leopard bra which was blue and green. I was wearing some jean short-shorts and a light green tank-top. It was the hottest day ever in Forks Washington. _

"_Oh my god!" Macy shouted and fanned herself with her hand. "I swear, this is abnormal, like how can people live in this?" I rolled my eyes as I drank my ice cold beer. _

_"Damn, how in the world can you be wearing that Ness?" asked Lily._

"_Hell yea, how can you wear that right now?" asked Macy. _

_I shrug as I smile and then Macy puts her cigarette to her lips and breathe in. As I am about to pick up my beer a football comes flying in Macy's backyard and knocks over my beer. _

_"Oh my god, what the hell happened?" Macy and I flew up and looked over and heard about two or three boys talking. _

"_Shit!" shouted one of them. "You know that girl lives there! That's my ex-girlfriend," and now I and Macy knew who that was. It was Embry. _

"_Don't worry, I bet they're in an air conditioned house, we go get the damn football and leave on our merry way!" said another. "So who's going in?" _

"_Not me!" shouted Embry. _

"_Not me!" shouted the guy who suggested it. _

"_Just shut the hell up! I already knew you and Seth wouldn't do it!" I, Lily and Macy knew that voice anywhere. Jacob Black. _

_Macy unlocks the gate and opens it. "What's up with you three? Scared of three girls!" she shouted. They were all shirtless and wearing their shorts. _

"_No," said Jacob. "Can we please have the football back?" _

_Embry and Seth were staring at us, girls, mostly looking at Lily with just her bra on. "I'd be keeping my eyes on the face, because if ya don't, you won't have damn eyes!" shouted Lily as Embry and Seth look down on the ground right away. _

_Jacob is then looking at me, my hair which is up in a pony-tail. I can tell he is checking me out, and I blush like crazy, he chuckles. "Like Lily said, if you wanna keep your damn eyes, you better not be looking at our damn sexy bodies!" _

_Jacob then ask, "Can we have the football back?" _

"_No," said Lily as Macy was about to close the gate but Jacob stopped her. _

_"Give me the damn football, Macy," he hissed at her. "I've heard stuff about you, I caught you doing that, if you want to keep that secret, you better give that football back." _

"_You didn't see me do anything, pervert!" she shouted. _

_Then Jake says, "All you are is a bitch!" _

_Macy slaps him so hard, and then I said, "Just give them the damn football back Macy!"_

"_Yea, listen to the beautiful girl over there," said Jacob as I blush and smile. Lily just rolls her eyes and walk back to her chair. Macy goes and gets the football. I stand there alone but Jake says, "You really are beautiful, do you want…" _

"_Here's your football!" Macy yells as she throws it and it hits Jake. _

"_Bye," I say quickly as I head back to my seat, blushing like crazy. That's when I first started to like Jacob Black. _

"Nessie!" shouted Abby as I snap back into the zone. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry, I was thinking about something," I replied. I look at the clock and say, "Shit, why did you let me sleep in so late?" I say as I grabbed some black skinny jeans, a lighting blue tank top with a black jacket. I change quickly as Abby sits there quietly.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked. "Why do you curse? Mom says it isn't good," she commented.

"I was thinking about Jake and this one summer, it doesn't matter," I say quickly. "I'll try to get out of dam-dang habit."

"Promise, you'll try to stop smoking, drinking, and cursing. That's your goal for the summer. If you do that once, you have pay two dollars for each curse word you say. If you smoke, five dollars. If you drink, ten dollars. Deal?" she questioned.

"Deal," I say as we both smile and shake hands. I grab my purse as we head downstairs, I go by the trash with her and I take out my cigarettes and look at them, I open it up and see one left. I drop it in the trash can as she smiles. I couldn't believe I wasted that cigarette.

"Remember, you could always pay five dollars," Abby said as she smiled.

My phone starts to ring. "Hello," I say.

"Hey," said Macy. "Well, I'm bored, sorry I didn't call you yesterday. I forgot to tell you but I got a job, I work in Wal-mart! What a joy!" I knew she hated working and just wanted to be professional soccer player already.

"Are you working today?" She replies no. "Well let's go to an ice cream, it'll be fun. It'll be like old times when we went to get ice cream."

Macy chuckles and says, "Hell yea, we can get some ice cream, everything will be much better. I love you Nessie." I smile.

"Oh and remember Abby, she's here with us, for the summer so she has to come along," I say quickly as Macy said okay. But I knew she was really excited. She loved Abby like a little sister.

"I'll be there in five," she replied. I smiled and went to tell Abby our plans.

It actually took Macy six minutes and three seconds to be exact. We were in her car sitting down.

"Oh shit," cursed Macy as she dropped her cigarette and quickly put it in her mouth. She backed out of her driveway.

"Well hello, it's been like two years since I last seen you Macy," said Abby. "It's the same first two words I ever heard you say." Macy laughed as she drove to the ice cream place.

"So, any boyfriends? Last time I heard it was Embry, I don't really know."

Macy smiled and said, "No boyfriend, I'm single! The other one was pressuring me in sex, and I don't wanna have sex till I get married!" She was yelling this all out the window.

"So, did you know cigarettes are addicting? They're this one chemical in it which makes it addicting like boys are addicted to video games. That isn't good for you, it starts in your first lung and makes down to your other lung, not just where they are. But it can destroy them. If they're all destroyed, you could die. It's called lung cancer."

Macy looked at me like how the hell does she know this all? She's only like nine. I chuckle and say, "She wants to be a nurse or a doctor! That is her dream right now."

"And always will be," clarified Abby.

Soon we were in the ice cream shop, sitting in booths. They had almost everything here. They had an ice cream favor I didn't even know of till I came here.

"So you see those workers?" Macy asked Abby. She nodded and Macy said, "One of them is mine, forever. I always imagine getting married to a boy in an ice cream place."

Then our waiter comes up. Tan skinned boy, dark hair, this wasn't good, this was- "Hello I'm your waiter for the day, Embry." That's when Macy's jaw went down but quickly back up.

"Hi, it's fancy seeing you here," said Macy. "We all graduated, finally. Or did you not?" she questioned as Embry chuckled. I smile as I seen Macy smile back at him.

"Yes, I did graduate," said Embry. "Almost failed, but didn't. So are there any drinks I can get you?"

"No thanks," said Macy. "We're just here for the damn ice cream. Just give us a few minutes," said Macy sweetly. She was smiling. By the look on her face, you could see she happy and still loved Embry, even if she didn't admit it.

We were all silent for a couple of minutes till, "Why did you break up?" asked Abby as Macy looked up at Abby.

"Because I don't like him anymore," said Macy. "He was one of Jake's best friends, right Nessie?" I nod; I knew a whole bunch about Jacob. Macy usually did not say mean things about Jake when I was around. Which, of course I was glad for. That's what I loved about Macy; she didn't say mean things about the people I loved. "I have no idea why we broke up."

Embry came back and said, "So what would you like?" Macy was about say but Embry interrupted, "Chocolate ice cream with chocolate everything, right?" Macy nodded slowly.

"Um, just vanilla and M&M's, please," I say as he looks toward me.

"Same but with sprinkles and chocolate syrup," replied Abby.

He came back with our orders and we ate our ice cream. "Remember that one time when you, Lily and I were, um, on the beach, really late at night!" she yelled. "Oh my god! That was so damn scary!"

_It was late; you could only see the white glistening moon on La Push Beach. The water was icy cold, but Lily was wearing her black bikini with her fake tan that actually looked like a real tan, which I was surprised about. She looked amazing in black. _

_I remember Macy was wearing short shorts and her purple zebra bikini top which she looked hot in. I wore my pale pink tank top with my light jean shorts. Lily was the one always dressing up crazy. But we loved her. _

"_Damn it!" cursed Lily. I saw her holding her beer bottle and drank it all in one gulp and threw it out on the beach. "So…" _

"_I dare you to go skinny dipping right now in that water!" screamed Macy as we both laughed as Lily gave her evil look. But she never turned down a dare, so she slipped out of her bikini and went in the water. _

"_BOO!" someone loud screamed at us as we all screamed so loud as we turn around to see Embry, was breathing so hard, "Ha! I scared you!"_

"_That was not funny! I was scared to death! Do you know how much that fucking scared me?" Macy never said the f-word unless she was worried, scared, or confused. _

_They start to kiss each other and I look to the other direction. _

_"Hey! Tell your boyfriend to stop sucking your face and get the hell out of here!" shouted Lily, she wanted to change in her bikini of course. _

"_Why can't you just come out yourself?" asked Embry as he shouted too. _

_Lily said, "You really wanna know?" He nodded. "I'm naked!" That was when we all three started to laugh. _

As Macy told Abby the story, Abby started to smile. "We had good times, but now Lily is in like a mental hospital. She started to cut herself. She started to smoke pot so her mom found out and it didn't end so good for her."

Macy just told her stories and everything. We were all laughing. "Hello," said Embry. "Here is your stuff you have to pay for." I took it from him and looked at it, he gave us some money off it, but I just guessed he was being nice.

"Embry," I said quickly and little to loud. "Have you heard anything from Jacob?" Embry looked at me, knowing I wanted the truth.

"Not yet." I just handed him the money and we left. The music started to blast in Macy's car. It was a really old song called Poker Face by Lady Gaga. All three of us were singing really loud to it. It was like old times, only we had Abby instead. Then we hear sirens behind us, Police ones. They were after us, of course.

"Shit!" cursed Macy as she pulled to the side. "Hello, police officer."

Macy was smoking a cigarette and the Police officer rolled his eyes and said, "You were going forty on twenty-five road. Are you even old enough to smoke? I'd like to see your driver's license."

Macy just nods and starts to look for my purse and says, "Where the fuck is my purse?" She was worried. "That has my goddamn license," mumbled Macy.

"Um, did you take it in with you when we got ice cream?" asked Abby and Macy nodded slowly. "Did you walk out with it?" Then all three of us were thinking.

"No," said Macy. "I didn't walk out with it. Oh my god, my mom's going to kill me. Shit," she mumbles and turns toward the police.

"So…" he started to say. "You don't have it?"

"It's actually in my trunk," fibbed Macy as she got out and rummaged through her trunk.

"Oh my god, I don't have it. I'm so sorry. We went to ice cream, and I must have forgotten it there."

"I'm sorry, but we're going to have to go down to the police station."

We were all sitting at the police station. Macy had her head in her hands, she was crying. The one thing her mom said was not to speed, or get caught, and never be in a police station. She was going to be in big trouble.

"It's going-." I started to say but she interrupted.

"Damn it Nessie! It's not going to be okay!" she screamed as she cried some more. "I wanna make my stupid phone call!" she yelled.

"My dear god, shut up and be patient!"

"I'm over eighteen, I can smoke and I can drive, I can do those things! I'm sorry I was speeding, I didn't see the damn sign!" she yelled. "I need to call my mom! NOW!" she screamed.

Then everything went silent and you could only hear Macy's sobs. Abby was looking down, she was scared out of her mind. Then the police officer came in. "So, who wants their phone call to get out?"

We were lucky they didn't put us behind bars. I was lucky. I knew Abby would be scared. We were only in here because Macy was smoking and they weren't sure if she was under age. But they found some beer bottles in her car; of course she was under age for that. How could she explain that?

Macy got up and typed in her mom's number. "Mom," said Macy as she cried. "Save me." Her mom spoke 'where are you?' "I'm at the police station." Macy was sobbing there right the. "Can you come and g-get me?" She hung up and sat right next to us.

"Abby call the house, I'm going to call Embry," I said softly. "To see if he can find Macy's purse and bring it here." Abby nodded as she got up and called my house.

I looked down not even listening, I could hear yelling from my dad about me but I knew they were going to come. That's when I cried. I got up and made a call to Embry. But first I asked, "Can I see my phone to make a call to someone?"

"Who?" she asked.

"My friend Embry," I said as she looked through my phone and gave me the number. I called and he answered.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi this is Renesmee," I said softly. "Can you look where we sat and see if you can find Macy's purse and the come to the police station?" I asked, sighing.

_"_Sure_,_ I'll be there in five minutes." I thanked him as I sat down next to my friends.

Soon I heard Macy's mom come in. "Where the hell is that daughter of mine?" she asked but shouted. She talked to the woman. "Is this over a cigarette she had in her hand and a beer bottle on the floor?" The woman nodded.

It was silent for a few moments. "I can tell you, my daughter smokes, she is eighteen. But she does not drink. Those beer bottles are from me. She takes them in to get money. It's all misunderstood. But it is her fault she was speeding, and she didn't have her license. We'll pay for the ticket but please take it off her record."

Macy looked up listening still sniffling and tears falling down her face like rain. They took the agreement. "Damn it girl!" she shouted. "What the hell is the matter with you? We made a deal! You said you would not get caught by the police!"

"I'm sorry!" she yelled as the tears fell down her face. "What's done is done, we'll live with it." Macy always said that when things went wrong. They were going to have to live with it. Then Embry came in.

"Thanks Embry!" I called as I took the purse from him and gave it to Macy. "Macy, I'm sorry you're in trouble but here's your purse."

"Thanks Renesmee," she said softly as they went out the door, once they were out, my parents were in here.

"What the hell was that Renesmee?" shouted my dad, Edward.

"Before you freak out, it was all a damn misunderstanding!" I shouted.

"You owe me two dollars, cousin!" shouted Abby of joy. I stare at her, and remember our deal. "Cursing for two dollars. Smoking was for five. Drinking for ten!" I smile and she laughs.

"Well we're leaving!" shouted my mom as we all four left out the door.

_Letter 4 _

_Dear Jacob, _

_Excitement! That's how I would explain today, for me. How would you explain your life there in one word? I wanna know! I'm still waiting for your letter! But I got ice cream today with my cousin, Abby, and Macy. We saw Embry. I think Macy still likes Embry. I'm not sure about Embry. But Macy forgot her purse there. We were pulled over by police. It's only been four days since you've been gone. So should I only write a letter once a week or once every two weeks or every day? Please tell me! I should probably do it once a week. Just every day for this week! I love you!_

_Love,__ Renesmee_

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**__Who watches The Walking Dead? That's a good show! I love it! Can't wait for it to come on tonight. **

**Anyways, tell me what you think if you want! :)**


	6. Chapter 5 Arrival

**I'm such a goddamn liar. What the hell is wrong with me? Sorry for not updating! But here it is. Also I like to say Merry Christmas! It's late but still Christmas where I am! So here's your present!**

**All belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Except my few characters. :)**

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**Arrival**

**Chapter 5**

_When it Rains, I don't mind being lonely._

_I cry right along with the Sky_

_When it Rains, I don't pretend to be Happy._

_I don't even have to Try._

**_When it Rains by Eli Young Band_**

I wake up, earlier the next morning; it's the day Aunt Rosalie, and Uncle Emmett come with their children. They would be coming in noon. What to do before its noon? I take a shower, a real quick one as I changed into some jeans and a t-shirt.

I see Aunt Alice making pancakes. "Hey Ness," she said softly. Aunt Alice and my whole family ignored that I and Abby went to the police station yesterday which I was happy for. At least we had an understanding family for some things.

I bet if I got pregnant in tenth grade, my parents would not understand and be upset with me, actually disappointed.

"Good morning," I greeted. I notice my parents weren't here. "Where are my parents?" I asked as I looked around and took a few pancakes.

"They went out shopping to buy food for tonight since you know your Aunt Rosalie will be here with her family. Esme and Carlisle will be here tonight around dinner and then go to their hotel. They'll come here about every day." I nod.

My family as coming down together because it could be our last time all together, which is exciting for me to see my cousins and I'm happy my family planned this. But we weren't all exactly related, I mean blood related. My grandma and grandpa actually adopted my dad, Aunt Alice, and Uncle Emmet. Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Jasper were actually related, they were twins.

Abby came walking downstairs in the kitchen as she sat right next to me and said, "Why did you wake me up from my amazing dream?" I stared at her like are you serious. I just handed her two dollars which I owed her from yesterday.

"Oh thank you." She smiles as I flash a smile right back at her.

I gobbled down all my pancakes and then all of sudden I say, "Uncle Jasper, weren't you a solider in a war at one point?" I asked, I wanted to know what Jacob was going through. I wanted him to be safe and sound. But I wouldn't be able to keep him safe; he would have to protect the other while they also protected him.

"Well, yea, for a couple of years but then I was visiting my mom and dad and met Alice. So I stopped being solider for her." he said softly. "Why?"

I looked down and said, "Well Jacob, my boyfriend, is going in the army and I wanted to make sure…. will he be safe? Please tell me he will be?" Abby and Aunt Alice sat there in silence as they saw my eyes; my eyes were at the verge of tears. But I didn't want to cry, but I was afraid for Jacob and wanted him safe.

"He'll never be safe in war, he's taking every risk for his country," said Jasper. "He's willing to take that task. So he is going to try but I can't promise anything." I nodded as I got up from the table and that's when the tears were flowing. The came down like rain would fall. My breathing went heavier, the tears were flowing.

Thinking about what is happening or what might happy to Jacob, hurt me. What if he needed me? What if he was dying? What if…? Every bad thing appeared in my mind what happened to Jake. What if the plane didn't make were it's suppose to be going? With the back of the hand I wiped away the tears but all they did was keep coming back as I lied their on the couch.

"Honey," said my mom as she rubbed my back. "It's going to be okay." Now realizing my mom was home, I had no idea how long I laid here and cried. "I know it's upsetting you that Jake left. He has his reasons." I nodded as I continued to cry in the pillow. My mom kept rubbing my back.

I said, "But Jacob could have told me another way." My mom nodded with her eyes close but she was listening unlike my dad would. Macy wouldn't understand. "Can you tell me a story, a real life event in your life?"

My mother's silk words said, "Renesmee, I loved someone before I met your father. I thought I loved this guy. His name was Joshua. Everyone called him Josh though. He was just so daring, sexy, and amazing. I thought he was the guy for me. But he wasn't. He turned out to be a real jerk. But I remember we dated for six months, a waste of my life." She hesitated but said, "But I didn't realize what he was really doing to me. He was always hitting me, calling my mean things. One time, he said I was a nasty bitch. But I didn't care and didn't realize. But soon I came home with a bruise, of course my dad freaked out and I told him I ran into a wall. But I came home with more, and more almost every week. I had to use make-up to cover it up. But I loved Josh, so I stayed with him. Soon I couldn't take anymore after he badly beat me up, I told my dad the truth. After that, I could barely trust a boy to touch me, I only trusted my dad."

"What happened?" I asked. "How did you even trust boys again?"

Mom hesitated but said, "Your dad, the day I went back to school, he knew but was so gentle. He noticed I flinched every move he made. So he was careful, soon I began to trust him. He made me able to trust others because I knew he would protect me, no matter what." I was sitting up, listening to my mom's story.

I realized I hadn't a moment with my mom like this in forever. I lived for these moments. I knew she loved telling me stories. Usually they were happy, some were sad. But her stories always brought me back to life, realizing there are harder things in life than this. I looked up at my mom and hugged her.

"You look like a mess," said my mom. "You have twenty minutes to look beautiful before Aunt Rosalie scolds you for this." I laugh as I make my ways upstairs to my room.

As soon as I walk downstairs again, Aunt Rosalie, Uncle Emmet, Jordan, Kayla, and Daisy were sitting on the couch in the living room. "Oh my god!" yelled Aunt Rose. "I haven't seen you in like two years, my dear niece!"

Aunt Rosalie was the one with silky blonde, soft, amazing hair. Right now she just had it down, and she had blue eyes like the sky. Her skin was so soft and she was pale. She could not tan, period. She just couldn't, but she burned a lot down in Florida. But she was the beauty of the family as Alice was the shopper of the family. She was careful, kind, gentle, and lovely. She believed in God, she was Christian, so the whole family went to church every Sunday.

Uncle Emmett was the trouble maker, even though he was the adult but a child at heart. He was tan, and I mean really tan. He was the strongest out of everyone here. He has brown hair, it was cut short and he had blue eyes like the ocean. But he was the playful one and always wanting to play sports when I couldn't even catch the ball.

Jordan was eldest of the children in the family. He was a year younger than me. So that made him seventeen but he graduated the same year as me. He had light brown cut hair and the blue eyes like his mom. But he was tan, almost as tan as Uncle Emmett, but not as tan. He was amazing at sports; he was going to college for a track and field scholarship in California.

Kayla was eleven, she was so adorable though. She had the same hair as Aunt Rose but it was French braided. I wish I could have their hair. She had the eyes of her father but her vision wasn't great as her parents so she had glasses, she was so cute in those purple glasses she got.

Daisy was only nine years old like Abby, our other cousin. She had the dark hair like Emmett and couldn't tan or burn, she was pale like her mother. But Daisy thought being tan was overrated. She was so cute and amazing. But it was amazing how beautiful their family is when we're not as beautiful as they are.

"Hey Aunt Rose," I said calmly as I hugged her back. "What's up Uncle Emmett?" I asked as he smiled and laughed but hugged me.

"Hey Ness," said Jordan as the others ones just wave hello to me. They were both pretty quiet when the rest of their family wasn't. I hug Jordan and greet him too. As for the rest of the family did, which means Aunt Alice, Uncle Jasper, Abby, and my parents.

Everything was going to be perfect; it was going to be a perfect summer with my family. I was going to love it; after all, this only happened every few years or summer. Depends who comes.

Later that evening, our whole family was here, except for my mom's side but my dad's side was here. Even my grandma and grandpa were here for dinner and just for dinner tonight. This evening was to catch up on each other.

"Um…" Aunt Rose started. "So what have you guys been up to?" It was silent for a few moments but Alice spoke.

"Being here!" shouted Alice. I chuckle but continue to eat the chicken that my mom has been cooking today. "So Jordan, any plans? Any girls? Anything?"

Jordan smiled a little but said, "I'm going to California for college, a track and field scholarship, but that's all. I have no marriage plans. No nothing, I'm not dating any sort of girl." It was quiet till Jordan said, "What about you Nessie, any plans?"

"Actually I'm going Julliard for school; I want to continue with music, acting, and dancing. I think it might be a lot of fun. But I'm waiting for someone to come back," I say softly as everyone nodded. "Did the mail come?" I asked as mom nodded.

"No," said my mom quickly. "There is no letters from Jacob. I'll let you know if there is. I think you should stop writing him, and let him get a chance to write back to all four letters. It'll be easy, Kay?" I nodded slowly but I didn't know how long it would take for Jacob to send a letter back, nor did I know how long it would take for my letters to get there.

My dad said, "So we should all do something fun this summer, like go do something." Everyone thought about what to do.

But Abby exclaimed, "DisneyLand in California!"

"Or we could just go to the beach, La Push," said Jordan.

"No!" shouted Kayla and Daisy. "We wanna go to DisneyLand! We only been to Disney World, I wanna see what the land is like!"

"Let's take a vote!" shouted my mom over their voices. "I would like to go to sandy beach in California instead of La Push!"

"Yea, I agree," said Jordan.

"DISNEYLAND!" screamed Abby, Kayla, and Daisy.

"Beach," said Rosalie softly.

"DisneyLand, of course." said Alice.

"DISNEYLAND!" shouted Emmet like a little kid.

Edward said, "Beach."

Jasper said calmly, "Sorry, but I'm going with beach."

Edward said, "Only one person needs to vote to decide it all. Renesmee?"

Pressure, the girls wanted DisneyLand. "Why the hel…heck can't we go to both? Let's just go California for a week and do both!"

The adults thought about it but then they agreed with me. At least I had everyone happy, plus we could decide where we would go. Everyone could go to beach and whoever wanted to go to DisneyLand could. I probably would go to both since I can never make up my mind up.

Later that evening I went out and got cigarettes, not even caring but I was addicted. I stood outside the porch and smoked it. After each cigarette I put five dollars down for each time. Soon I ran out of money before I could finish my last cigarette. I coughed, as I came in, Aunt Rosalie would probably kill me if she found out. Aunt Alice got use to it. Abby wanted to help but I don't if she could.

I saw Abby sitting on the couch next to Jordan, Kayla, and Daisy. "Here," I say softly. She looks at all the money. "I smoked, I'm sorry."

"I can't take that!" she shouted.

"We had a deal!" I shouted back. Jordan was like oh my god, a nine year old is getting all that money. "If you don't take it, I'll probably just buy more! It's better if I don't have money anyways!"

Abby slowly reaches out but takes it from me. "Thanks for telling the truth, you at least earn that, because you could have just forgotten our bet. I know it's going to be hard in the beginning but it'll get better." I just nod and run into Aunt Rosalie. "What's that terrible smell?" Aunt Rose hated the smell of smoke, did I mention that?

Without hesitation I say, "Me." I make my way upstairs to take another shower.

It's been a week and a day since Jacob left and is probably wherever he is. The letter still has not come. But we decided we're going to California, in July, the third week but right now it was the second week of June.

I haven't heard anything from Macy lately, so her mom must have taken her whole life away from her. But Macy was probably still upset over the little incident. She worried things like this. But she would get over it, I knew her to well. Macy was just different; she hated holding grudges, keeping her mistakes forever in her life.

Macy was atheist. She believed we were woken from our deep sleep, and just came out of no where but she believes when we die. It's over. We're gone from this Earth forever. She believes in no after-life. That's why she says every second counts. I believe there is an after-life. I believe there is a heaven and hell. But I didn't go to church; I just had faith in this. Why were we put on Earth to live but then vanish forever?

I knew Rose could have a very good debate about this with Macy, and Macy would never give up until she won. Another thing I wish I was. I had confidence, and courage. But that wasn't me, I was nothing close to that.

Without thinking I grabbed the keys to my mom's car, which was a black Mercedes. I was driving and without realizing it, I was in front of the old wooden, faded red painted house. Jacob's house. I walked up and knocked on the door, I knew I was insane but I need to talk someone Jacob loved, and Billy was going to have to accept me.

The door opened, Billy stood there in jeans and a black shirt, his shoulder length dark black hair, and he was tan from the generations of his family being tan. "Hi, Renesmee," he grumbled but then said, "You can come in if you like." I nod as I sit down on the couch.

"Hey," I said softly. "I know we don't really know each other but I think we should get to know each other. Because for all you know, I and Jacob could get married." Billy looked at me strange like I was trying to say something else.

"Um…" started Billy but then he stutter. "A-a-are you p-p-regnant?" he asked out of no where.

Without thinking I yelled, "Oh hell no!" Then I say out of no where, "I'm still a virgin." I was blushing like crazy, my cheeks were red. "That was awkward, sorry." I mumbled.

"It's okay, I sort of started it." It went silent, then realizing it, I said a bad word, and I was going to have to find two dollars to give to Abby. "So, where did you get the name Renesmee?"

"I got it from my grandmas' names," I replied and said, "My mom was messing around. Since Renee and Esme, she came up with Renesmee." He nodded. "So…" I started.

"Do you wanna know anything?" he asked quietly. I did, I wanted to know about his wife, Jacob's mom, what it was like when she was here, more about his sisters, and I wanted to know everything. But I could just throw out all the questions at Billy like that. I might give him a heart attack.

"No," I fibbed but smiled. "You ask away."

Billy asked me so many questions but I answered each one honestly and it was a pretty good conversation I was having with Billy. Then I asked, "How am I alike like your wife? How are we alike?"

That's when Billy looks down and started to cry a little but says, "You were stubborn. She would have acted the same like you, with Jacob. She would always be saying everything was okay when nothing really was. You would always smile even though you knew things were wrong, she did the same. That's about it." He was crying and I took his hand.

"Everything will be okay," I say softly. "She would be proud for what you done with Jacob." He gave me a weak smile. "I better get going; maybe we can talk every Sunday, once a week." Billy nodded, he agreed.

I knew things were going to work out between me and Billy. We might actually be a good friends and I want to know more about this person, whose name I didn't know.

A day later, I was woken by Jordan. "Ness!" he shouted. "Wake up!" I look at the time and it was one in the afternoon. "Finally you wake from you beauty rest!"

"Sorry," I said softly.

"Damn it," he cursed and I went wide eyed at him. That was the first time I've ever heard Jordan curse in my entire life. I figured since he was religious he didn't curse or do anything bad, that's what I thought. "What?" he questioned me.

"What do you mean what?" I asked. "You act like this normal. Saying damn it!" I shouted. "Shit! I have to pay her four dollars." Then I think, "Wait, no! Six dollars!"

"You only cursed twice."

"It's from yesterday! And I don't have six dollars! Why is this so hard? I gave all my money to her after I smoke who knows how many cigarettes? At least I'm not drinking. I only did that once so far, it was just a party and of course I'm with Macy and…"

"Shut up," Jordan said smiling at me. "I'm sorry I surprised you with the bad word, my mom doesn't know and she cannot find out." I just nod. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

I smile but nod and say, "Promised, but if she starts getting suspicious I will tell her." He just rolls his eyes and agrees.

I made all my cousins get ready to go in freezing water at the beach La Push. Abby had a one piece bating suit with floral flowers of pink, purple, and a light blue bating suit. She looked adorable in it. Daisy wore a two piece, the top went down her stomach, and it was brown with colorful butterflies everywhere while her bottoms were brown also. Kayla wore one piece, it was simple, it was just black, it went so good with her tan.

Jordan, on the other hand just had simple red trunks, and it looked amazing with his tan. I only had a bikini, Macy made me buy it. It was just a midnight blue and I haven't worn it like in forever. "What the hell?" said Jordan?

"Oh my god! What are you wearing?" shouted the three girls.

"Is it really that bad?" I asked looking down. "It's the only bathing suit that fits me and the only one I had. Macy got it for me."

"Do you know how freezing it is outside?" he asked as I shrugged as I put jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt on. "I guess you don't care." I smile but we leave to the beach in silence.

Once we get on the beach, it was the warmest so far this summer for Forks. But my cousins didn't agree with me so much. But I thought it was warm to me since we bearly had any days like this. From a distance I see Emily, watching Quil and Claire play in the water while she had her feet in the water.

Jordan was staring at this mysterious girl to him. I could totally tell that he was in love with this girl, it was like love at first sight. Only if she could see that and she probably wouldn't. "Staring problem Jordan?" Kayla asked as he snapped out of the zone.

"Shut up!" he snapped.

"Emily and Jordan kissing in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-NG!" I shouted the kissing part. "First comes love, second comes marriage, and then cute little baby!"

"That's not how the song goes," said Jordan. "You're getting it wrong!"

"It's my own version!" I screamed. "I can do whatever I like!" Emily looks towards us. "Hey Emily!"

"She's your friend!"

"Shut up! I met her like a week go, she's here with her dad and her cousin Claire."

Emily waves towards us and I give her a wave. "So, here with Claire and Quil again, does it bother you?" I shouted a question towards her as she nods. Something was odd about her, something was off about her. But I couldn't think what it could be.

"You love Emily, don't you?" I asked Jordan.

"No," he said simply.

"Liar."

He blushes and says, "Okay maybe I am."

The following day was quiet boring till I heard my mom call my downstairs around three in the afternoon. But I saw my dad looking angrily at this letter. "What's the matter?" I asked quietly but I just hear mutters from my father and my mom glaring at him. "What was that?"

"I said it's that stupid damn Jacob you love so much!" he shouted. "Why couldn't you find someone else? He's just going to break up with you! He's nothing but a son of a bitch!" I grabbed the letter from him.

"That's what you think!" I shouted back. "He loves me, and accepts me, he's even nice to you even though you're goddamn mean! I don't see why he bothers!" I hissed and run up the stairs.

"WHY DID YOU EVEN SAY ANYTHING?" screamed my mom. "SHE LOVES JACOB AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO EXCEPT THAT!"

"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I?" he screamed back. "HE'S JUST A PLAYING WITH HER FUCKING HEART!" Then I heard, "HE'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN IN THE ARMY! HE'S PROBABLY WITH SOME OTHETR GIRL IN A BED HAVING SEX!"

I heard Aunt Rose calming down the right. I heard her yell, "We have kids in this house. We don't need to be talking about sex or swearing! All you're doing right now Edward is hurting Renesmee! You don't know what she's going through. Every minute, she knows Jacob could die. What if that was Bella?"

That's where I heard the argument ended but I cried and I finally teared open the letter from Jacob and saw his terrible handwriting, but at least I could read it.

_Letter 1 _

_Dear Renesmee, _

_I remember our first date. I remember every minute with you. I love you. I might be able to visit in six months. Just let me know where you'll be and I'll be there. I'll go where ever you like. I think I'm going to be in the Army for two years. Trust me on this, you'll understand why I went to the army soon. It'll be two quick years. I'll visit much as I can. So, this is reply to letter 1, who knows how many other letters there are. But when you put letter number I put that letter number, that means those two letters go together and they're numbered. So it makes it easier to understand. But remember the day we graduated, I wanted to, trust me but it just didn't feel like the moment. But I love you. _

_Love Jacob _

I cry as my tears pour out onto the paper. I loved Jacob and he loved me. My dad didn't know anything.

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**I hope you like the length of my chapters. They're all above 1000 words and a few are not that long. But I hope you like this chapter. Thanks for reading or reviewing. Thank-you for all support. **


	7. Chapter 6 Memories

**Well I was going to update yesterday but I forgot...so I'm updating today on New Years Eve! But I want to wish you all a Happy New Years and I hope it's a great year for you. I hope you reach your goals. I'll tell you a few of my goals. 1.) To publish one of my stories. 2.) To make every negative a positive. 3.) To have the best year I can. Also...you guys have the best year ever, reach your goals or do whatever the hell you do.**

**Well anyways...Twilight all belongs to Stephanie Meyer. But I'm using her characters and adding a few of mine by makng my own plot. Anyways...here is the chapter: **

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Memories

Chapter 6

_Quiet thoughts come floating down  
And settle softly to the ground  
Like golden autumn leaves around my feet  
I touched them and they burst apart with sweet memories,  
Sweet memories_

**_Memories by Elvis Prestley_**

_Year of 2006 and 2007_

Macy kicked the soccer ball towards me as I scream once again because I feel as it might hit my face. "Macy!" I shouted and said, "Stop kicking the ball so high and hard." The fourteen year old Macy and fifteen year old Lily rolled their eyes. I was still fourteen.

"Stop being a wimp and kick the damn ball!" shouted Lily who made it sound so easy. But it wasn't for me. "Let me show you!" she said as she set down her water she was drinking. I moved out of the ways and saw how easily they kicked the ball back and forth.

I dig my feet in the sand since we were on the La Push Beach. I saw the boys who pretty much owned this place come down here, Sam who was going to college next month and be gone, Jacob, Embry, Seth, Paul, and Jared. They were watching us. Jacob was staring at me but then he looked down when I looked at him.

"Surprise, Surprise," muttered Macy. They were popular in our school pretty much in our school. But Sam graduated this year. We, Jacob, and Embry were going to be in ninth grade. Paul and Jared were in eleventh grade. Seth was a year younger than us so he was in eighth grade. Everyone wanted to go out with them.

"Why the hell does everyone want to go out with those bitches?" asked Macy.

Lily said, "Well those bitches are damn hot and sexy." Macy hit Lily.

"I don't know," I said softly. I was always the shy one of the group. But I secretly had a crush on Jacob. Macy and Lily don't know this but I do have a crush on him. I wonder if I'm good at hiding that.

Last week, from the incident with the foot ball, it was hot and their football comes flying in Macy's backyard. Jacob called me beautiful. Macy said he was just being a flirt. She was probably right. Jacob probably didn't think I was pretty compared to Macy. He would rather have Macy or Lily then me.

Lily loved how hot and sexy they looked. She always loved brown eyed guys to. She was so pretty, she had long straight light brown hair, blue eyes, like the sapphire, and she had a good tan like always. Lily was amazingly hot, but Lily was always like hell no.

"Stop staring!" Macy shouted.

"Ever since that damn football went into your yard and Jacob said he saw you do something, you've been a real bitch!" shouted Lily. "What's so secret that Jacob saw? You called him a pervert. What is that damn secret?"

"Nothing!" shouted Macy. "He's a pervert! He was flirting with Renesmee in my backyard!"

I stayed quiet. "THEN TELL US WHAT THE HELL HE SAW!" Lily screamed. "If you don't, what kind of best friend are you?" Macy just walked away. Lily say next to me.

"FIND YOUR OWN WAY HOME BITCH!" screamed Macy at Lily. "Are you coming Nessie?" I was about to say something but then she said, "Be that way! Always sides with Lily, even though I'm always there for you Renesmee, don't expect me to be there for you next time!"

With that Macy left. "I don't want to pick sides," I say finally. I looked at the time it was almost eight at night. "You should get walking home; I'll find my own way." She just nods and leaves me there while I sit there and cry. Macy will forgive; she just didn't want us to know what Jacob saw her done.

"Hey," I heard the familiar husky voice. "Are you okay?" I looked up and saw his friends staring at us. They all looked like "What the hell are you doing Jake?"

"I'm fine," I say quickly. "When does Jacob come over here and comfort Renesmee?" I asked. "I remember in third grade, you called me names. That hurt, you know?"

"I'm sorry," he says. "About that, that was like six years ago. Do you need a ride home?" he asked me.

"No," I lied. "Someone is picking me up."

"Okay," he hesitates and says, "Bye." I wave bye and I hear a car pull up.

"RENESMEE!" shouted Macy. "ARE YOU STILL HERE!"

"Yes!" I shouted back as I went up to our car. 'Let's go, can I spend the night at your house?" I asked wanting to forget today.

It was the end of the summer, Lily and Macy forgave each other. We never spoke of that day or conversation again. So they knew what Jacob did. We really didn't see much of Jacob at all that summer. But today was the first day of school, ninth grade.

We were picking our first day outfit. "So what do you think?" asked Lily. She was wearing a blue tank top that had a cupcake on the front, it said yum. She wore dark blue skinny jeans and black converse. She looked amazing in that. "Pretty, if you wanna get most insane outfit on the cold day. Go for it!" said Macy.

"You look amazing!" I shouted. "I agree with Macy."

"That's what I exactly was going for!" Lily squealed. "I might wear my black jacket with it, that's all." Macy nodded.

Macy changed into hers. She wore a blue long sleeved shirt, with a feather that matched in her hair. She had dark skinny jeans. She had tan Ugg boots on which must have cost a lot. She looked really pretty. "Love it," I say.

"I love it too!" shouted Lily. "No words to describe." Macy smiles as she pushes me to go and change into my first day outfit. But I didn't have my picked out. I grabbed some random jeans a shirt, but it looked like I was getting my first day outfit.

I put on my brown short sleeve v-neck shirt, with a white cami underneath. I wore some light blue jeans and my purple converse from last year. These were all clothes from last year. "Oh my god," said Macy. "Are you kidding me? It's pretty but last year clothes!"

"Yea," said Lily agreeing.

"I didn't go school shopping," I said. "I have perfectly good clothes here! I don't need new ones, don't worry." Macy and Lily rolled their eyes and agreed. Now we were off to school, ready for our first day of school.

We walked inside laughing. I smiled and see glimpse of Jacob Black as he smiles and waves and I wave back. Macy, of course notices. "Did you just see that?" asked Macy to Lily. Lily looked at her like she was insane. "Did you see what Jacob Black did to Renesmee?"

Then we're all in the bathroom. "What the hell?" Lily asked. "What happened?"

"Hmm…." started Macy. "What happened Nessie?"

I say, "Jacob just smiled and waved at me and I waved back to be polite. Nothing is going on between us. We spoke once over the summer after Lily went home and you left I and Lily there on the beach after the fight. He asked me if I was okay. He's just being nice."

Macy thought for a little. "He called you beautiful, asked of you're alright, doesn't have a girlfriend, and…"

"He tried asking me out once, while we were in your back yard," I say truthfully. "But He didn't finish since you hit him with the football." We laugh at the memory.

"Jacob Black totally loves you," said Macy dully. "I hate him, do you like him?" I couldn't tell her I had a crush on him. I just couldn't.

"No," I lied through my teeth. It didn't feel right but I did it. Then came last hour, it was a class I had with Jacob. The bad part was that we sat right next each other. This was a class were you had to work with the person you sit next for the whole trimester but only In Class work.

"Hey," said Jacob. "How do you like your first day?" he asked me as I just look at him and shrug. Everything is silent as the teacher speaks. I did not like Jacob Black. This class we were learning Social Studies. She gave only in class work and projects. It seemed easy.

Within the first two weeks of school we had work to do. "Hey," said Jacob. We were working on a project. "What do you want to do?" he asked me.

"What were the choices?" I question him as he just chuckles a little and smiles.

He says, "Poster board, write a paper, or make a video. You have to present in the front of the class." I nodded.

"Let's write a paper, it'll be the easiest. Find some of the information of whatever the damn chapter is," I commanded as he does as he was told from me. "Um, I'm sorry I was kinda ignoring you. Let's officially meet."

"Okay," he says. "Hello, I'm Jacob Black."

"I'm Renesmee Cullen, you can call me Nessie or Ness for short," I say softly as he smiles. "I'm fifteen, my birthday is September tenth."

"Well happy late birthday," he says as I laugh.

I say, "It doesn't matter. I don't accept any presents, not even from my parents. My friends try to throw a birthday party but I say no. My birthday is just saying how old I am." He laughs.

"Well that's a good reason why not to celebrate it."

The teacher comes up to us and says, "Are you working or talking?"

"Both," replied Jacob as he writes something down and another thing. "We were just discussing what's going to happen, about the assignment," he lies so easily and sly. I knew I liked Jacob from that moment on.

Soon summer came shortly after that year and tenth grade came and second trimester came. I ran into Jacob Black. "Hi," I say as I open my locker. I was rushing so Macy wouldn't ask me questions about this guy I lied about that I liked.

"Hey," he said. "Why are you rushing?" he asked. I tell him the reason. "Well she's coming but she hasn't seen you." He grabs my arm and shuts the locker as we run down the hallway into a classroom which wasn't used.

"Thanks," I say quietly. "I have to get to class."

"Hold on," he says. Jacob looks at me. "Can I ask you question?"

"You just did."

"Another one?" he asked. "And another one after this one."

"Sure."

"If I asked you on a date, would you say no?"

"Depends. When? Where?"

"Will you go on a date with me this Friday?" he asked and I stared at him. My crush, the guy I loved asked me on a date.

"Yes," I say. "Pick me up at six thirty." He nods and smiles.

"Well time to go to class," he says.

Friday night came, and I was deciding on what to wear. Where were we even going? Would it be fancy? Would it be casual? "RENESMEE!" shouted the voice I did not want to hear. It was Macy. She walked in my room.

"No, I can't go to the stupid party," I say. She's been practically begging me to this one party. "I have a family thing. I'll go to the tomorrow party." Macy rolled her eyes.

"Fine!" she shouted. I decided to wear black jeggings with a light blue tank top with my black jacket. I wore my purple converse from two years ago. But this year I went school shopping. Next time would be Senior year.

"You look beautiful," said my mom who just came home. "Are you going anywhere with Macy and Lily?" she asked.

We walked downstairs. "No," I say as my dad hears. "I'm going on a date." My dad looked at me wide eyed. I've never gone on a date before because no one asked me till Jacob did.

"What?" my dad's voices boom. "You're only sixteen! You can't date till you're eighteen." My dad was worried about me. My mom laughs.

"Edward," said my mom. "She'll be fine with whoever she is going with. It's just her first date, they might be more than one. Who knows is this one is the one?" My Dad nods as I smile.

"His name is Jacob Black, he should be here soon. But you can't meet him. We're not at that stage yet. But if it gets serious, I'm going to have to tell you and my friends." My mom hugs.

"Don't worry, I'll love whoever you love," said my mom and I felt comforted. "I'm sure he is a great guy." My mom hugs me and I hug her back.

"Have fun," said my dad once he heard a knock on the door. "Bye Ness," he said.

I open the door. "Hey," I say as I come out and close the door. "Um…where are we going?" Jacob was wearing jeans a buttoned down shirt. He looked casual but a little nicer.

"Hello to you too," he greets me as we walk down to his car. "It's a surprise." I smiled talking, laughing, and smiling the whole car ride there. "So do I ever get to meet your parents?" he asked.

"Maybe," I say. "Do I ever get to meet yours?"

"Yea," he said. "One of them." I don't say anymore about that because I don't think he wants to talk about that. We stop at a Ice Cream place in Seattle.

"Oh my god!" I yelled. "I love this place; I only go a few times in the summer with my mom and Macy, or Lily. It's so much fun." He smiles and walks me in. We order are ice cream and start to eat.

"I bet I'm spoiling your dinner," he says as I smile but nod. "I guess I should have got you food first and then came here."

"Well we can finish this ice cream, go get food, and get more ice cream here," I sugguested as just smiles at me. "What do you think?"

"I think I don't have enough money for that," he says as I laugh. I throw ice cream at him as he throws some back at me. I'm laughing.

"Can you please stop that?" asked the person who was working there. But we continued and he said, "Get out of my store!" I'm still laughing once we're out. Jacob was so easy to talk to, our conversations just flowed. We were always laughing.

The music store, we got kick out of like immeadily since there were complaining customers. But for once in my life. I felt alive. Not just a follower of Macy and do what she says and have fun with her. I actually felt alive with Jacob.

He made me laugh, smile, and everything.

Once I got back, I was hoping to go to bed and sleep, dreaming this over and over again. But I come home with Macy's car in my driveway, she must be inside. I say bye to Jacob and leave to inside. "Hey," I say once I see my mom and dad talking to Macy and Lily.

"I'll let you guys talk," said my parents as they went off to a room.

"A family thing," said Macy. "Really? Doesn't seem like one? You were on a date. You couldn't tell me that."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I wasn't going to tell unless I think things are going to get serious."

"So did you get that answer?"

I nodded, "I think things are going to get a little more serious but you're not going to like who it is." Lily looks at the ground. I told her some things about Jacob; I did tell her I liked him. But not about the date. I probably would have eventually told her that too.

"So who was it?" asked Macy.

I say clearly, "Jacob, Jacob Black!"

"Oh my fucking god!" she shouted. "Him! He's using you and playing you. Why?" I shrug. "So how was it?"

"Good," I reply. "I didn't feel like I was forced this, I felt more alive than I have been with you. It seems that you're making all the decisions for me." Macy went wide eyed.

"I'm the one who made Jacob notice you," said Macy. "He's using you!"

"How do you know?"

"You know what Jacob said, I saw what you did. He didn't see anything! He was the one. I had a secret relationship with him! We were going to have sex but we didn't! Goddamn it! He's going to break up with you like he did with me!" shouted Macy.

"So that's the secret you couldn't tell us!" shouted Lily. "Come on Macy, Nessie likes him! Get over it! We'll see what Jacob does. Maybe you guys weren't just for each other! Nessie's liked him for like the pass two years! But she didn't say anything to you because she knew you would act like this!"

"Tell Jacob for me, he's a bitch! If he breaks your heart, I will break his, literally!" shouted Macy as she leaves and storms off.

"I have to make sure Macy will be fine," said Lily as they both leave. I knew I loved Jacob.

Then eleventh grade came. I started to be with more of Jacob. I barely hanged out with my friends anymore and just with his friends. Senior year, my friends were Jacob's friends. Now here I was, no Jacob.

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**I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for anyone who reads or reviews. Thank-you!**

**Also...Happy New Years! **


	8. Chapter 7 Letters

**I hope you like this chapter. It's one of the short ones. But not the shortest. I'm hoping you like this story! **

**All belongs to Stephenie Meyer except my story line and the characters I made. **

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**Letters **

**Chapter 7 **

_I like the storytelling and reading the letters, the long-distances dedication._

**_~Casey Kasem~_**

_Letter 2 _

_Dear Renesmee, _

_No can do. I'm going to keep sending you letter. I'm glad you're willing to wait for me. But don't you want to get married and everything. Don't you? I'll only be here for two to four years. But I love you and need you. As I'm writing this letter, one of my buddies from the army is making fun of me. They know I have a girlfriend. But I love you to. And of course I need you so much. You're my life Renesmee. You're what keep me breathing. _

_Love Jacob _

_Letter 3_

_Dear Renesmee, _

_Now you say I can write letters. You make me laughs; I just want to see you smile so badly. That's great, I'm glad you have your family for the summer and Macy. I'm glad you have someone there for you, since I'm not there. College! I'm glad you're going now because last time you were like I'm not going to any damn college. I'm glad, Julliard will be a good school since you are amazing at playing piano, singing, and acting…sort of. I love you. I'm missing you every minute. I'm just in training right now. Once training is done, it'll take longer to reply to your message but I'll reply. Send one at a time till I reply. Please. _

_Love Jacob_

_Letter 4 _

_Dear Renesmee, _

_How many letters are you going to send? Even though I love how you are. I love listening to the new updates at home. Work is how I describe my whole day, almost every day. But its okay, it's worth it. In jail already? Being a bad girl since I left. It's bearly been a week of me being gone. It's okay. Embry likes Macy? I don't know. He might. He just hadn't said anything then? I guess we'll see. But that's pretty much it. I love you. _

_Love Jacob _

_Letter 5 _

_Dear Jacob, _

_Life is pretty boring. But Emily, is a great friend, she sort of reminds me of Lily but more pure and good inside her. But she hates living here. I think my cousin, Jordan likes her. He even admitted it actually. But Emily only sees him as a friend. But who cares? Just too bad for him! Lol! Macy's found out about my deal, about the smoking, drinking, and cursing how I'm not doing that or I have to give money. I spoke to your dad also. He actually told me a little about your mom. Just a little. But when he first thought when I went in there, he though I was pregnant even though I'm not. How's that for letting you know what's going on? Have you heard from Embry or all your friends? _

_Love Renesmee _

_Letter 5 _

_Dear Renesmee, _

_Doesn't Macy hate me? I know that's not how I should start a letter. It seems that Emily is the opposite of Lily. So what's going on with Lily? Are you guys not friends anymore? Sorry if it's my fault. Well maybe here and Jordan will only be friends, but they'll probably date, I call it that I'm the one who thinks it first! Well, Embry sent me a letter so far, so has Sam, my dad sent a few, and I'm glad you and my dad are talking. Seth sent me one, he's just got one year of high school and he graduates. He doesn't know where he is going for college. But yea, that's it. _

_Love Jacob _

_Letter 6 _

_Dear Jacob, _

_Well, I won't reply to your letter for a few weeks. I'm going to be California till August. If you can call while you're there, call my mom's phone's cell since my parents stopped paying for mine so I don't have one anymore. My parents are paying college for me while I move to New York for school. Julliard. I'll be moving at the end of August there. I'll be going there for two years and then I'm going to try and go to BYU in Hawaii to be close to family and try to get a degree for something there for about another two years. That's my plan. I'll tell you my new address once I know where I am living. I love you!_

_Love Renesmee _

I sent the letter out to Jacob. I smiled and sighed. I think this was going to work out. We probably wouldn't get married till he was done with Army, and I was done with college. This was going to work out.

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**I hoped you liked. **

**Thanks for anyone who reads or reviews. :)**


	9. Chapter 8 California

**Since I got so many favorites and subscribers from people, I decided I was going to update. Thank-you for anyone who read it!**

**All belongs to Stephanie Meyer but my story line and the characters I created. **

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**California**

**Chapter 8**

_All those crazy things we did_

_Didn't think about it, just went with it_

_You're always there, you're everywhere_

_But right now I wish you were here_

**_Wish you were Here By Avril Lavigne_**

Twenty hours in a car with my family is insane. It's loud, noisy, and everything you do not want to be in. I mean, it's like crazy. But we were driving down to Anaheim, California which is where DisneyLand is by, pretty much. We were staying at the hotel called Disney's Paradise Pier Hotel. It was going to be so much fun.

We had two rooms, one with all the adults and the other with us kids. But it was only because I was adult, so we could all be together. But after that many hours of driving, I wanted out of that car, away from everyone.

"Oh my god!" I shouted once again. Jordan laughed at me. "I thought we were never going to be out of that car!"

"It's okay," said Abby. "Are you feeling a little sick?" I shook my head and walk towards are hotel. "How can you be wearing that?" asked Abby as we were just standing in the sun. I shrugged. I was always asked that question.

Kayla shrieked, "This is going to be awesome!"

"You'll be in the parent's room if you act like that in the hotel," said Rosalie.

"I know!" shouted Uncle Emmett. "This is going to be pure awesomeness!"

I hear Aunt Rose say, "I feel like I'm raising four kids." I laugh and nod as she flashes me a smile. "Having fun Emmet?"

"Hell yea!" he shouted but then he said, "I mean heck yea honey; I didn't say 'h' 'e' double hockey sticks. You're hearing stuff babe." I roll my eyes as she gives him that glare.

We get the keys to our room and once we're in we have rules. Rule number one; be in the hotel before eleven o'clock. Rule number two, no messing around or getting kicked out. Rule number three, have fun in a non crazy way. Like that is even possible for us. Aunt Rose is insane.

"A room with four girls," said Jordan. "This is great." I smile as the three other girls laugh. "What? That means no bathroom time! I have to do make-up guys! Also I have to do my hair for what like three hours!" We're all laughing.

"We do not take that long!" I defended. "I don't even wear make-up unless Macy makes me! I don't know about these three!"

"But your hair is forever long!" I argued with Jordan about this forever while we were all laughing arguing.

"Okay! You win! Shut the hell up!" I laughed as us girls smile. Without thinking I grabbed the pillow and hit at Jordan.

"PILLOW FIGHT!" screamed Daisy as we all run for a pillow. We whacked each other as we fall; get right back up, hit more, and laughing. Our breaths get slower after each hit, as our arms throb for more oxygen, as we lift our heavy arms.

_Thump, _went Jordan to the ground. _Thump, thump, thump _went the three girls as I was the last one to fall to the ground. We catch our breaths in a few minutes as we all smile and laugh for no apparent reason.

"Remember that one time when we were at Hawaii, really little Ness. Aunt Alice went into labor with Abby."

"Oh my god, yes! I remember. Aunt Alice was like freaking out!" We tell them every detail we remember from when we were young. Abby blushed a deep red since of course it was her. "Aunt Alice was like, Jasper; you better hope I don't live! I will kill you and I hope you go to hell!" We were all laughing.

"I remember when you and Jacob started dating, you were so into him," said Kayla. "I mean, who cares about him! Aren't we more important?" All those memories made me glad I was with my cousins. We all had such great times together.

"Let's play truth or dare!" shouted Daisy as I stare at her as I nod no. "Why not? Afraid?"

I laugh shook my head.

"Why don't we do something even better?" I asked. They all looked at me like I was insane as I just roll my eyes. "Play dress-up on Jordan!" I screamed.

"Oh hell no!" he shouted and jumped up. I gave him the puppy face. "That face is not going to work period!"

An hour later, Jordan was sitting in a chair as Abby was coloring his hair all pink. He was going to look so adorable. I put the make-up on as his two sisters find an outfit in my suitcase. Soon they pick my flowing whit shirt with the letters in rainbow saying Be Happy. But we let him wear his pants since mine were all skinny jeans, he probably could not fit in them.

Abby smiled. "Let's show everyone! It won't come out for another two to four months!"

"You said two weeks!"

"I lied; just so I could do your hair pink!" Jordan sighed really loud as we all three laughed.

Jordan said, "Okay let's do this." Without hesitation we walked to the parent's room which was right across from us. Uncle Emmet was the one to answer and he burst out laughing.

"Oh my god!" he shouted. "I love your hair, Jordan! Especially your make-up!" Jordan growled at his dad very low.

"I hate this so damn much." Emmet laughed with us as Aunt Rose came in and screamed.

"Don't worry mom, it'll come out or off eventually." Aunt Rose was freaking out.

"What did you do?" she asked but started to laugh. "When does the pink come out?" she asked.

Abby announce proudly, "Two to four months. He could say he knows someone who has breast cancer and he is supporting. It would make sense." Everyone came in laughing at Jordan, which he did not like this at all. But he would get over this, eventually, hopefully.

Two days in our vacation, I'm putting that bikini on again since we are going to the CaliforniaBeach today. Jordan was still mad about the pink hair but he ignored that fact and tried to enjoy the rest of the vacation with us.

"All the guys are staring at you," commented Jordan.

I smile and say, "I don't give crap, I have a boyfriend I love and we're going to be together forever." I finally got out of the habit of saying bad words. It was easier to not say them and started to say words that were good and not bad. But my smoking was bad, but still had August to fix it. I knew I could do this, but it's been almost five days since I had my last cigarette but I was going to stop. I stopped drinking with no problem.

"And the girls are all looking at you," I commented as he laughed and shook his head.

"Still waiting on Emily? Are we?" He smiled and blushes a deep red. "Girl coming this way." Then the three little girls came as this random teenage girl approached.

"Let's go play in the ocean!" I shouted with the three girls as we abandoned Jordan. I turn behind me while he flips me off with the finger and I laugh. We were splashing and then Jordan came along as I was not totally not in the water but he picks me up and puts me in the water.

I scream. "Oh my god! You're so going to get payback!" He laughed as I shook my head and laughed.

Soon all five of us were laughing, splashing, and having fun. This summer made me feel alive, I didn't feel like I was being controlled, it felt the same with Jacob. But I felt as if Macy was controlling my life. Lily and I always felt alive. Macy was always making decisions, but now me making my own. I felt grateful and happy. But Macy is what kept me moving forward and not staying like a rock. It seemed that I needed people to push and love me, and give me happiness. Just a theory. Soon we were back in the car, all going in a deep sleep. Today was one of the best days with my cousins ever.

I wrote,

_Five Best Moments with Cousins_

_1.) The Beach, splashing, laughing, and having fun. We're always messing around, making mistakes but keep rising up._

_2.) Giving Jordan a makeover, hilarious._

_3.) Shopping, two summers before where we were chased by the mall cop._

_4.) Going to La Push Beach, embarrassing Jordan by his new crush, Emily._

_5.) Playing monopoly, almost for a whole entire week._

_Five Best Moments with Friends (Macy and Lily)_

_1.) Teasing with Lily about Macy and her boyfriend Embry. Always messing around with them._

_2.) Trying my first cigarette with them._

_3.) Pissing off the most popular girls with them._

_4.) The parties, always the parties._

_5.) Going to La Push with them all the time._

_Five Best Moments with Jacob_

_1.) Our first kiss, in his car, after our sixth date. It was amazing._

_2.) Our first date in Seattle, in the ice cream shop, and getting kicked out of almost a lot of places._

_3.) Going to the carnival together._

_4.) Hanging out in his bedroom, watching TV (mostly kissing), playing video games, and talking._

_5.) Eating dinner with him and his dad. Very interesting and enjoying to me._

I read over them over and over. It's been a week and two days. For the next two days, we were going to be hanging around is DisneyLand after this day. Then after that we are going to the beach one last time. Then after that, in two days we were going back to Forks, Washington. I wondered if Jake was going to call. It's almost been two months since I heard his voice. This been the longest. I just wanted to hear him.

Jake's sexy, husky, lovely, fantastic, amazing, and everything about was just so pure amazing. I loved him all for it. He made me feel like I was everything even though I really wasn't. I want to marry him but we are going to work this out and stay together, forever with our kids, and our grand children, and our family. I was going to love it.

"Renesmee, we're leaving to eat in ten minutes," said Jordan who put me back out of my thoughts. "They want us to dress nice." I nod and smile.

"Okay." Jordan was now officially over the pink hair, he loved it actually, well now he did and I laughed when he was like 'I love this pink hair! It really brings my color out!' We were all laughing.

I dress in my black skinny jeans with a purple tank top which had a cupcake on it and saying yum like always. I loved it. I wore my purple converse which still fit from over three years. I loved them and just couldn't buy new ones. They were my high school shoes and always were going to my shoes till I grew out of them.

I put my hair down, letting my curls take the place upon my shoulders. I loved it. For once in my life, I felt beautiful. I smile. "Time to go!" yelled someone as we all left out to the restaurant. It was Olive's Garden.

I loved Italian food so much. It was an amazing food. I smile listening to every word till my mom's phone rang.

She picked it up and said, "Hello, Yes she is here." My mom handed me the phone. "Go in the bathroom and talk." I nodded as I went to the bathroom before I said something.

"Hello," I say softly.

"I love to hear your voice," said Jacob. Oh my god, he called. "Hi Renesmee," he said my name like silk. I loved it.

"Jacob!" I yelled. "I didn't think you would call!"

"I know, but I practically begged them for me to call you. So they decided to let everyone call whoever they wanted for tonight. But this is the only time. The next time will be a while. I only have five minutes to talk to you, since they give us ten minutes of the phone. I spent the other half with my dad."

"I miss you and love you so much Jacob," I say.

"I love you too Renesmee." I smile as he said those words.

"I was thinking about you today and thinking how I wanted to hear your voice and remember our moments together. I loved those times and hope they still happen, ever after the army. But I wish you were here."

"I wish I was there too I hope so too." We talked for a couple of minutes. "I have to go, bye Ness."

"Bye Jacob. I miss you, please don't die, and I love you." He hung up as I slid down to the floor and cried. I wanted Jacob here. I wanted to show him how much I loved him but at least I got to hear his voice which made me so happy and cry tears of everything.

Knowing he may die, but glad he called, and everything mixed in feelings.

Soon I made my way out and hand the phone back to my mom. My dad didn't look happy at all since he knew who called. But we continued with conversations. Everyone understood why I took it. So they didn't question. But I knew my dad would question later.

DisneyLand in one word is magical.

I felt magic lift me up and remember all the times I love Disney and still do. My favorite Disney princess ever was Sleeping Beauty. Abby's was Princess Belle. Kayla's was Princess Snow White. Daisy's was Princess Rapunsel.

But today was memorable. No words to tell, no words to describe, and I can't even explain everything that happened or anything. Before I knew it, I was back at home in my bedroom, seeing the letter Jacob has sent.

_Letter 6_

_Dear Renesmee,_

_I love your college plans. I hope you have fun in California. I'll try to call. Sorry for the short letter but there really isn't anything to say._

_Love_

_Jacob_

_Letter 7_

_Dear Jacob,_

_California__ was amazing. It was sunny, for once in this summer. I'm out of my cussing habit! I can finally say the words like crap, dang, dang it, and all those other words instead of saying the bad ones like the s-word, which I was in a bad habit of doing. I'm so happy! But the smoking is not going so well. But yea, everything is going great. The beach was amazing and Disney Land was amazing! I loved it all! End of this month and I'll be in New York for Julliard, but I officially decided I am going to go there for as many years to get a good music degree! It's going to be amazing! Tell me everything you can! I love you!_

_Love_

_Renesmee_

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**I hoped you like the chapter. **

**Thanks for anyone who reviews or reads my story! **


	10. Chapter 9 Decisions

**I'm so sorry for not updating sooner but life has been busy and I just haven't had time to update or write. School has been busy and in free time I would just do something that relaxes me. Life has been busy. I'm sorry. **

**Here's the chapter now! **

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**Decisions**

**Chapter 9**

_Stumble like ooh Cause I wanna do right_

_She looks so good tonight& it's got me saying ooh_

_I wanna get it on But I know that it's wrong_

_Decisions, decisions I said decisions, decisions_

_I said decisions, decisions_

_I said decisions, decisions Decisions, decisions_

**_Decisions by Ne-Yo_**

I was reading my book I bought from Seattle about music, instruments, acting, and singing. A lot of things that would help me, with school for Julliard. I got a music book for piano and I started to play. Soon, Jordan took up a little spot by me at the piano and listened. But I knew he was going to say something important.

As I finished, I asked, "What? What's the matter?" Jordan stared at me not knowing if he should say this. "Do you need anything?" He nodded slowly.

"I've been thinking," said Jordan. "Emily and I started dating." My mouth dropped to the ground as I was like are you serious? "Are you going to say anything?"

"Yes!" I shouted. "When did this happen? Why are telling me this now? What's going on? How long?" I shouted a bunch of questions at him. He waited till I finally stopped as I noticed I was standing and not sitting at the piano anymore.

"Two weeks ago, we kissed. We really love each other. It's like love at first sight. She's turning eighteen next week and I'm turning eighteen this week. I'm saying this because I don't want to go to college anymore."

The only words I could let out were, "Oh my god, Aunt Rose is going to kill you." He nodded and I knew he wanted to know how he should tell his parents. I knew that. "Do it tonight at dinner, she won't be as mad."

Later that evening Aunt Rose exclaimed, "Jordan, you're staying here till you go to college this trimester, we'll send you your clothes. It'll be perfect, my first son who graduated, and is going to college!" Aunt Rose was excited, she wanted him to go but he didn't want to go. "And-."

Jordan interrupted, "Mom, I have something to tell you." Then she looked at him and he said, "I met a girl." That's when she frowned. "Her name is Emily, I met her at the La Push beach like a month ago and we've been dating for two weeks. I love her."

Aunt Rose said, "What does this have to do with your college?"

"I'm not going to college," said Jordan quickly. "I'm leaving with Emily, to travel the world with her." It was silent.

Aunt Rose screamed, "WHAT!" Jordan looked down. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Jordan didn't look up once. "YOU'RE JUST GOING TO WASTE YOUR TALENTS FOR A STUPID GIRL! YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET THIS GODDAMN DECISION! SHE'S GOING TO LEAVE YOU-"

"Rose!" shouted Emmet. "If that's what the damn boy wants to do, Let him! We'll see if he regrets it later! It'll be his fault but his choice! Just let him!"

"No cursing!" Aunt Rose said and then sat.

"Anymore confessions?" questioned Aunt Alice. "Let's just do it right now." Then Aunt Alice said, "Jasper, you know your gold watch you had, well I sold it so I could buy this really expensive cute dress!"

"What!"

"While we're at it mom," said Jordan. "Before it slips on accident to you, I sometimes cuss."

"What!"

Everyone started to do confessions but me. Then Jordan turned to me and said, "What is your confession."

"I don't really have any, unless I say, Aunt Rose, I smoke and drink. I almost had sex with Jacob. Is that confessions for you?" I asked as my dad knew we almost did it, but he was mad. "I'm sorry."

The confessions stopped. It amazing how many confessions we can have.

Life was full of surprises.

It's been two weeks since the incident with Aunt Rose and her son Jordan. Jordan wasn't going to college. That was final to him. His mom didn't give him anything for his birthday, I gave him a hundred dollars in cash for his trip. Aunt Alice and her family got him a suitcase and some clothes. My mom and dad just gave him five hundred dollars in cash for his trip. Uncle Emmet gave a little money to him.

But on Emily's birthday, I gave her necklace which she loved. Jordan took her to dinner at her favorite restaurant which she was so happy for. And she got a few stuff to get ready for the trip with Jordan.

Only Aunt Rose wasn't happy with his decision. This is what he wanted, and he can be whatever he wants. "Well bye Renesmee," she said quietly. Aunt Rose gave me a hug. She was leaving with her family, with no Jordan.

All she did was wave to her own son and they left. Abby wasn't leaving till tomorrow which was so sad. I was so sad all my family was leaving. I didn't want it to happen. But I would be gone in a week to New York, and so would Jordan. They were visiting all over the major points in United States first, then planned to go to Italy.

Now all three of us were sitting on the couch in the living room, and I finally asked to Emily, "So, what do your parents think about this?"

"Well they don't really give a shit," she said. I nodded. "When I told my dad he was like okay, and said do whatever you want. You're an adult. But he says I'm welcome any time. My mom freaked but she's getting to use to the idea." I nod was I listen to her words.

Jordan said, "So, New York, Nessie? What do you think of this?" I smile and shrug. "You don't know. Come on, you're moving to the big city for music. So what are you planning on doing?"

"Learning more of piano, and I want to become a person to teach people how to play the piano, I think it'll be good and fun." Emily smiled brightly.

"I want to be a teacher, but I'm doing online courses, but I have to go to the state of Utah, to BYU every six months to be there for a month. Is that fine Jordan?" she asked.

"Sure, my plan was….. I guess I don't know. I was hoping to become a track and field star but I don't care anymore. As long as I have you," Jordan said sweetly and kissed her on the cheek. I smiled. It reminded me how much Jake cared for me.

Jake was one of my first boys I loved, the only guy I wanted to be with. I knew I would sacrifice anything for him. I didn't know if he knew that. That's when I remember something.

_Jake arms were wrapped around my waist as he kissed me on the cheek. Seth, Embry, and Sam were all standing there. Embry wad dating a girl named Emma. Sam was adoring a picture, this girl was pretty. I mean damn pretty. Seth literally had a girlfriend ever week._

_"Who the hell is she?" Embry asked. "Oh my god, she so goddamn hot!"_

_"I know!"_

_"Yeah!" shouted Seth. "Bring her to be my bed!"_

_Sam glared at him. "Who is she?" I hear words mumble as they spoke._

_All I remember was that Jake kissed me._

I remember that picture, it was Emily. Only her hair was different. Sam was three years older and it didn't make sense. Jake took me away before Sam could say the story of that summer he was with Emily. For some odd reason, I wanted to know.

"Um," I was about to say something but Jordan was sitting there. So I texted her.

**R- Hey, where do you live with your mom?**

**E- Rhode Island, why?**

That's were Sam went that summer, in 2009. He went to visit his Aunt. I was wondering if she was that girl.

**R- Where were you the summer of 2009? Do you know Sam?**

**E- I was with my mom. I met someone named Sam. Why do you ask?**

**R- I know someone named Sam, from that summer who was there at the same place.**

**He had a picture of you. He was about to tell a story but I didn't hear it.**

**E- Well, his name is Sam Uley.**

**R- I know him.**

**E- You want to know the story?**

**R- Yes.**

**E- Sam was my boyfriend that summer. We thought we were in love. But it was nothing but lust. All the dreams of being together forever were a lie. I don't know what happened to him. He just left. He's such a bitch. But I loved him from that moment.**

**R- Did you do anything?**

**E- Yes, we kissed a lot, and had…**

**R- You had sex with him?**

**E- For the truth, yes.**

**R- Oh my god, did you use protection?**

**E- No, I got pregnant but I did abortion, I can't believe I did that. I regret that mistake.**

**R- Sorry for being nosy.**

**E- Its okay.**

"So," said Jordan feeling like he was left out of this conversation. "Were you guys just texting each other?"

"That's none of your business!" I shouted as Emily laughed and nodded truthfully as I say, "We were talking about girl things which you did not need to hear for your g-rated ears!" Jordan scowled at me as I smile and laugh.

After an hour it was time for Jordan and Emily to leave. I wave bye, because it may be our last time seeing each other in awhile.

One week, I'd be gone to college.

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	11. Chapter 10 College

**It's almost been a month and I feel bad for not updating! But I am now! And I will get better at this school is stressful and Hell! But I'll get through it! But I've been writing new stories for all of you so that I am going to try to get done between summer and next time school starts for me in the Fall! I'll post the upcoming stories on my profile today! **

**Disclaimer: All belongs to Stephanie Meyer except the characters I made and what the plot line!**

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**College**

**Chapter 10**

**_It's been so quiet since you've been gone._**

**_Everyday feels more like a year._**

**_Sometimes I wish you could be here._**

**_The memories would stay with me._**

**_The Best Years of Our Lives by Evan Taubenfeld_**

**_(Some Lyrics Reedited by Me)_**

Julliard was going to be a big step for me. A whole new state, anew city, a new room, a room I would have to share with three others, it was a new school, and a different learning center. This was a really big step for me. Julliard was going to teach me music; I was going to love this. My parents are spending every cent of this. So I had to make this worth it.

Once I was in the dorm, I saw one girl. She had long straight dark, blackish hair but it was dark brown. She had really pale skin. She was in the living room sitting down, decorating it a little. Once she turned, I saw brown dirt eyes. Her nails were neon green with the white crackle over it. She wore dark jeans with a navy blue long sleeve shirt from Aeropostale.

"Hey," she said to me softly. "I'm Ally Cheney."

"Hi, I'm Renesmee Cullen," I introduce myself right away. "So this is apartment for colleges near Lincoln center. Right?"

"Of course!" she shouted. "I'm going to Julliard for singing, I want to improve my singing skills and then I'm going to the University of Washington for a teaching degree and hopefully become a music teacher or anything."

"What a coincidence!" I say excitingly. "I'm going to Julliard but for playing instruments so I can teach people music, to be specific, I prefer piano."

"Do you want to share a room with me?" she asked as I nodded and took my bags to the rooms she was in. It was a bunk bed with a closet, a dresser, what they provided in each room. But our room was in the back, closest to the bathroom which was at the end of hall-way with a closet at the end. The kitchen was right next to the living room.

Since Ally took the bottom I took the top of the bunk bed. I looked around and saw she stole the dresser so I took the closet. I saw a desk which Ally set up all by herself. Soon I heard a real snotty voice, "Oh my god!" she shouted. "Look at this shit!"

"Hi, I'm Ally Cheney," introduced Ally.

The girl said, "I'm the soon to be famous actress named Madison Newton, my father's last name, so I prefer Madison Stanley. My parents are divorced. They literally hate each other. I have a twin named Marcus Newton. We don't even use the same last name. He's coming to the same school. And, I'm going to my room."

"I didn't ask for a whole life story," said Ally softly but I think Madison was ignoring her since she went to the room which I wasn't in. Ally came back to me rolling her eyes. "God, she's such a bitch."

I nodded in agreement as I continued to unpack from what I brought. My parents said I was welcome anytime. As for the rest of my family said I was.

"Do you have siblings?" I asked out of no where.

"Yea, two step siblings who are twin girls names Karen and Kara because my dad had an affair but my parents are still together. I'll explain that later. Right now they are the youngest. Then a brother named Hugo. Then triplets who are all girls, named Lily, Lila, and Leah. Trust me it gets worst. Then another pair of triplets which are boys, Matthew, Luke, and John."

"Oh my gosh," I say. "I cannot live with nine other siblings."

Ally nodded, "Well there is another one coming and it's just going to be a boy. I'm the oldest of them all; in two years all three triplet boys will be graduating. My mom had kids fast. She still wants more. She's insane."

"I'm an only child," I say simply. "My parents are still together and probably always will be."

Ally nodded as Madison comes in. "Hi, I'm Renesmee Cullen. You can call me Nessie.

"Well I'm Mad-," I interrupted.

"Madison Newton," I say as she frowned.

"No, Madison Stanley," she said. "Can we trade rooms?" she asked me as I put the last of my stuff away.

"No!" I snapped. "I'm staying here and so is Ally! I don't want to hear your story. So what college are going to?"

"Julliard, for acting to become famous unlike my mother who tried but failed, so that's my story," she said and stormed off.

"Bitch," mumbled Ally as she grabbed a magazine of hers to look at. I grab my mother's favorite book, _Wuthering__ Heights__. _My mom gave it to me to read but I haven't had the chance to read it since I was with Jake most of my time instead of doing things I enjoyed. My mom actually bought me pretty much all the classics, so that's what I was reading for like ever.

Soon I heard the door open, and I went out to see who it was. It was a girl with red hair, bright blue eyes, and really tans skin. She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. "Hey, I'm Renesmee Cullen, you're roommate." She nodded and shook my hand.

"I'm Kyla Mallory, my middle name is Marie, so I prefer that name," she introduced. "So is anyone else here?" she asked.

"Um, I took the back room with another girl named Ally. The girl in the closer room is Madison. You'll have to share with her," I say as she nods and leaves to that room.

For some reason, I think this was going to be full of drama, crazy, and exciting year of college and I wasn't going to lie about that.

It's December 15th, and it is cold out. It's freezing. I hated the cold weather even though I lived in it my whole life. I looked at my calendar and smiled. Six days till Jacob comes to New York, he decided to come here. He asked his dad if that was okay? His dad didn't care. He just had to visit him next time there, which would most likely be the Spring as Jacob says.

Madison was a slut, no other words. She had a different guy ever week or should I say every two days. Maybe she would become famous because of sex life. I'm surprise she isn't pregnant yet, she annoyed me. But she usually wasn't here.

Marie followed Madison like a little puppy and she never hung out with us. It was like she wasn't allowed. She dyed her hair all black. She didn't seem like herself for these past months. I felt sorry for her but I tried talking to her but she didn't listen.

Ally was the only trustworthy person here and I loved that she was. As both of us sat there watching TV, since it was a Saturday and we had no school on weekends and this class was so fun, I learned so much about the piano and many other instruments.

"So what are you doing over break?" I asked Ally as she finally picked a TV show she knew that both of us would like.

"Um, I'm going to my parent's house and celebrating," she said. "Do you want to come?" she asked me softly.

"Sorry, I'm staying her in New York for Christmas and New Years. My boyfriend, Jacob is going to be here till January 2nd, so I want to spend time with him. I haven't seen him since June, it's almost been seven months."

"I'll be back the twenty-seventh," she said. "I want to meet this mysterious Jacob guy you talk about. You better hope he's not to hot, Madison will try to steal him. She stole my date and had sex with him."

"I trust Jake, he won't do anything. He loves me. Plus he's in the army and to let you know, he is sexy," I say as we both laugh and smile. "I love him. No, I will not _do it_ with him; I don't think I'm even ready for that anymore."

Ally new the whole story about Jake and I. She knew all about how Macy hated him and Lily supported me a little. How I and Jake were maybe having sex and then told me he was going to army. She knew about everything.

Madison comes in, with two boys and Marie. "You guys are leaving, right?" she questioned.

"No," I say. "I'm staying here for the holidays. My boyfriend is coming to visit me here." Madison gives me that evil look. "I don't think I'll ever leave till you leave because I don't want people having sex in my bed!" I snapped at her.

"You have a goddamn boyfriend! Who would date you? You're nothing but a ugly fat duckling!" she snapped back. "You're a bitch!"

"At least I'm a female dog and not a slut!" I shouted. "At least I have the sexy guys after me even though I am fat and ugly duckling!"

"Shut the hell up Madison!" Marie shouted. "I think Renesmee the bitch here won the fight! God, how can you be so mean?" She rolled her eyes.

"How can you be so slutty?" I questioned as all four of them went to their room to do whatever they do.

Ally asked, "How can you not cuss at them?"

"I don't know. I just don't cuss anymore. I got out of the habit and I don't want to get in that habit again. I used to smoke; now I don't. I use to drink a little, now I don't. I use to cuss; now I don't. It's because of my cousin. She helped me and I'm glad she did," I tell Ally.

We both just sit down and watch the TV show which was on.

I breathe in and out. I dress in some dark blue skinny jeans and a blue tank top on as I applied my make-up, which I only wear for occasions. I put my hair down and let it go in its golden curls. I smile, and brush my teeth. Then I look in the mirror and thinking perfect.

I run downstairs real quick and make a phone call on there pay phones. I hear Macy say, "Hello is this Renesmee Carlie Cullen who is ready to see the sexy Jacob Black, whom she loves?" I laugh and smile at her remark.

"Yes, yes it is Macy," I reply. "I'm so excited to see him!" I knew Macy was laughing and rolling her eyes. "I mean, it's been like six or seven months. We're almost together for three years!"

"I know," she said. "You told me this like four million times!" she shouted as I laugh.

"But I don't care. I'm going to accept the guy you love, if you love Jacob, I'll be friends with him."

"Thanks Macy," I said. "I appreciate that. But he is staying at a hotel he gets tomorrow so he has to spend the night at my place."

"What?" she questioned. "Are you planning something special? You know, like fun in a bed!" she shouted as I laugh. "I'm joking. You told me you weren't ready for that, anymore, which I'm glad about. I don't want to be getting a call, as you say, Macy, I need your help, I'm pregnant."

"That won't be happening anytime soon!" I shouted. "I think it would be more like, Macy, I'm scared. You'd be like what? I'd be like I need your help. You say, with what? Then I would say I'm pregnant!"

"Okay we don't need to go over the whole story," said Macy quickly. "I was just doing the short version. Hell yea, I know you would be scared. You would think of the craziest ideas that would happen one in a million or infinity and beyond," she said.

"Yea, I know," I say. "I'm just that kind of person. Are you going to come and visit? We actually have a concert for Christmas? Please come for that! I'll pay a round trip for you if I have to!"

"Fine, I'll try, just find the tickets for me," Macy said. "But the flight has to be tomorrow. I have to be home by the twenty-ninth. So December 24th to December 30th. Who the hell cares if I'm late for the family coming to my house?" I smile.

"Well Jake is going to be here soon, so um, bye. I miss you and love you Macy!"

"Bye Ness, I miss and love you too!" she shouted as I laugh and hung up.

Then I let the doors open up for Jake. He comes up the stairs and the door goes _knock, knock, and knock. _I hesitate but open the door. "Hey Ness," he says with his husky voice I missed hearing. All I do is smile and hug him.

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**Thank-you for anyone reads, favorites, or reviews! You can message me if you want! **


	12. Chapter 11 With You

**I'm going to be u****pdating every Sunday. Which is what today is! So I'll start doing that and continuing. **

**Thank-you for the review and followers of this story! **

**Disclaimer: Belongs to Stephanie Meyer except the characters I created and the plot. **

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**With You**

**Chapter 11**

_I won't soar,_

_I won't climb_

_If you're not here,_

_I'm paralyzed_

_Without you, without you__ I can't look,_

_I'm so blind__ I lost my heart,_

_I lost my mind_

_Without you_

**_Without You by David Guetta_**

"Jake," is all I say smiling. He was smiling right back at me. "I'm happy you're here. I missed you so much." Jake was wearing regular clothes, his jeans and t-shirt.

"I missed you to," he says softly. "So, this is your place with three roommates. It's pretty clean," he said as I hit him. "What! Girls are usually really messy."

"I think that is boys you're talking about!" I defended us girls. "But two of our roommates are barely here. I usually have this place with Ally, the others are doing stuff I don't even wanna know what they're doing."

Jake says, "Sounds like you don't like two them." I nod. "I'm starving, do you have anything to eat?" he asked. I just nod as I grab chicken from the fridge to put it on the oven. "Sounds good." I smile at him.

"You can watch TV while I make it," I say softly. Then I hear the door open and I see Madison. "Hey Madison," I say. And for once she isn't drunk, or with Marie or a boy. Or she isn't smoking. Lately I've been trying to be nice to Madison. "Do you want some chicken?" I asked.

I knew Madison was checking out my boyfriend, but she wasn't going to have him. He was mine and always going to be mine. He loved me and knew that and she said, "Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?" she asked rudely.

"I want to try to get along," I said. "Would you like some?" I asked her as she said sure. "Oh and the boy on the couch is my boyfriend Jake." She went wide eyed at me and came right to me. "What?"

"You're ugly, how can such a sexy guy be dating you?" she asked me. That was really rude and it made me feel ugly. I always believed her when she told me I was ugly. But Ally told me I was beautiful, and Jake did too.

I hissed, "Shut up, he's not yours and he's always going to be mine." She gave me her evil look.

"In one week, he'll be mine, no doubts," she said.

I spat back, "He doesn't do that kind of stuff like you. You're a slut and he isn't one. He loves me so get over it." Madison glares at me.

"He'll love me bitch," she hissed. "He'll never lo-," I interrupted by throwing a piece of the chicken at her shirt which looked new. She screamed, "Bitch!" I laughed at her. "You're so going to pay for this fucking shitty shirt!"

"If it's so shitty, why do you wear it?" I snapped back at her. Dang it, I cussed. "How much does it even cost?"

"At least a thousand dollars and it aren't shitty!" she growled. That's when Jacob comes in. "The clothes you're wearing are shitty!"

Jacob's looking at me with the look that she is insane. "You're burning the chicken," he said at a statement.

"Crap!" I shouted as I took it off the stove. Madison just stomps off to her room. "Can you hit me?" I asked him.

"No I can't, if I really do hurt you, I'll never forgive myself and why?" he asked.

"I said a bad word and I cannot get in that habit again," I say quickly. Jacob just hugs me and kisses me on the forehead. "Why do you make me feel so special when I'm really not?"

"Because you are," replied Jake, "so special." I blushed as he chuckles. "I love seeing you blush with your red cheeks." I look down in embarrassment. "I love how you get so embarrassed. I love that you went on date with me. I love everything about because you're so perfect to me."

I feel the heat in my cheeks as they turn in a bright red and say, "But I'm not pretty or perfect. Macy is so much prettier, so is Madison, and Marie, plus Lily! And everyone!"

He said softly, "Macy spoke to me once while I and you were dating and you guys weren't really talking. She said if I broke your heart, she would break mine in pieces still keeping me alive. She said she would break me. She said a couple of other choice words."

I was stunned that Macy even spoke to him. "Why?"

"I don't know, she told me not t treat you like shit because you're worth a lot. Macy cares about you, she thinks you're worth something in this world; you're pretty, and smart. There are not a lot smart people this world." I smile and think of Macy and all the times we had together.

"Um…Macy is going to be here for a few days," I say. "She's going to be here for my concert, for me."

"That's nice of her," said Jacob softly as he leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips, it was short, simple, and sweet. "I love you."

Then Marie came walking in and hisses, "Where's in the hell is Madison?" I replied at her room, at least Marie didn't question abut Jacob…yet. "YOU'RE A GODDAMN BITCH!"

"Let's go out to eat," suggested Jacob as I nod in agreement.

"A REAL NASTY BITCH! I HATE YOU SO FU-," that's when I and Jacob left the apartment.

My laughs shrilled through the outside of New York as Jacob joked around with me and made me laugh. I loved him for that. I loved how he made me smile. I love everything about him like he loved everything about me. And I knew we would be together forever.

I held my coffee close to my body as Jacob did to. "How can you live in a city like this?" he asked as I shrug and take a sip of my drink. "I mean, a small town to a big town must be a big change Nessie."

"Well, I'm used to it now," I replied. "I don't really like it here but I'm just here for school and learning. I want to become a teacher who teaches kids music or everyone!" Jacob smiled at my dream. I knew he was glad I went to college, and I was enjoying my life without him. That was what made him proud and I knew that.

"So do you have any friends for roommates that don't scream at each other?" he asked as I laughed and nodded.

"Um, her name is Ally, she is the one who shares a room with me," I say. "She is my best friend ever and I love her to death. She's going to Julliard to for singing, just hoping to at least give lessons to kids so she in improving." Jake nodded. "Now, tell me the truth, how do you feel about Macy coming here?"

Jacob said, "I don't care. Long as if you're happy, I'm happy." I stare at him as we walk towards my apartments. "Macy's your best friend, I'm not getting in that way of that." I sighed and nod. "Whoever you love, care about is who I love and care about in a friendly way." I giggle.

Once at home I say, "You get the top bunk; Ally said I could sleep in hers." Jacob nods as I drift off to sleep.

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**Thank-you for those who read, review, or favorite! **

**I'll update next Sunday! **

**Bye! :)**


	13. Chapter 12 Christmas

**I'm really going to stop being a lying bitch you know. I say I'll update on Sundays but I never do that! I'm sorry. So I'm just going to stop doing that and put it all up on here in one day! I'm just going to put it all up. Whoever reads, reads. So yup! I'm putting it all up today. Last author note will be on last chapter. **

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**Christmas **

**Chapter 12 **

_From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other. **~Emily Matthews~**_

I got a lot of time with Jacob. We acted the same since he left, but I missed him so much. Madison and Marie were not talking. Marie refuses to be called Marie so she goes by her first name, Kyla now. Kyla changes her whole lifestyle and has been hanging out with me lately. Madison is trying to get my boyfriend.

"Hey sexy," said Madison to Jacob as I roll my eyes. "So, you want to ditch the third wheel here?" I love Jake, he loved me and that was it. I loved that he loved me.

Jake replied nicely, "I'm sorry but I have a girlfriend, way prettier than you." I blushed as Jacob smiled. "Like, look at you, have you seen yourself in the mirror?" Which made me happy, which is why he did it.

"I can't believe Macy is going to be here!" I squealed like a little child on Christmas morning, we were having Christmas concert tomorrow. I was excited.

I could hear Macy yelling, "Damn, this apartment is nice!" I knew she was trying to make sure I heard her as I opened the door. "Oh my god! I didn't know you lived her Nessie!" I smile and laugh as I hug her tight.

"Macy!" I screamed. "I'm so excited to see you! I missed you so much!" Macy was taking a cigarette out, and then I said, "That's against the rules."

"What the hell?" questioned Macy. "No wonder why it's so damn nice. They don't let anyone have fun here! Like the smoking and drinking, not the bed fun! You know what I'm talking about Jake?"

"Yea," he said awkwardly. "Did you tell her that one night?"

"Aren't I supposed to tell my friends my love life?" I ask as we all crack a smile. "I love you anyways Jake. At least you know I wasn't using you for sex." Jake smiled a little and nodded as Macy left.

"I bet you wanted to do it too, Jake," said Macy.

All Jake says is, "We're not talking about my sex life tonight."

"Didn't even know you had one?" asked Macy as we both started laughing. "Are you still a virgin?" she asked him. "I know my sweet little Renesmee is."

Jacob replied sarcastically, "No, I'm totally not a virgin." I was blushing like crazy. This conversation was too awkward. Macy just smiled and laughed, looking at me. "Embarrassed?" he asked me. I nodded no as I lied because I was.

"Why don't we talk about your sex life?" I asked Macy.

Macy replied, "Because I don't have one, yet." We both crack smiles. I knew Jake was excited to see me smile. He loved seeing me happy. I have been happy. Real happy. Then I looked through my mail and one was from Jacob, he probably sent it before he left.

I just put that one off to the side. "Oh my god," said Macy. "Is this your handwriting Jake?" He nods. "Well it is so damn terrible. I hate gonna lie about that. How can you read this?" I shrug. "Shit!" Macy's phone was ringing. "My mom doesn't know I'm here."

I heard a lot of yelling. This normally didn't happen but soon as it ended, the evening went perfect.

Macy and I were outside, by the apartment building since Macy had to smoke. I said I would go with her and talk. Macy didn't even offer me a cigarette anymore, like she normally would. It felt odd but I was done smoking. "Jake's different," she said.

"What?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

Macy said, "Remember that one time with Jake and your first date. I told you about our secret relationship." I nod. I never mentioned or thought of that. "It was stupid, to mention that. I was just mad and frustrated."

I nod and said, "It wasn't all true, was it?" I look at her lean against the building and smoke. "What's the whole story?"

Macy said, "I used to love Jake like you. I kept this relationship a secret from you guys. Like you kept the secret but show your relationship. But he only dated me because of my looks, he made me feel amazing, and then he just breaks my heart. He wanted to have sex with me but I told him no. He was immature back then. But when I said no, he called me a bitch. All he did was take a picture of me when I was half naked, and he told my mom. That's how I got in trouble with her. She doesn't think I'm a virgin anymore. Jake was just stupid, but he changed, a lot." I nod as I listen to her. "Remember in third grade, he called you names."

"Yea," I say. "He called me a bitch once. I didn't tell you because I knew you would hurt him and get in trouble. I didn't want that for you. He called me stupid, little miss perfect. But every word he said, it made me lose confidence. You're what kept me going Macy, wanting to lay my life," I say. "But Jacob changed a lot."

"He did, he loves you. You can see it in his eyes. He's not using you for sex. He told you no, he didn't want that. You wanted it but you didn't break up with him. It shows your passion and love for each other. That's the kind of boy I want. Ness, you think being this pretty like me is great, it isn't! Boys just only use you for your body, have fun in the damn bed, and it isn't. You're perfect, beautiful, but not as sexy as I am, no offense," she says. The tears fall down her face. "The only guy who ever made me feels special was Embry. He made me feel worth it."

It got silent for a few moments but I said, "Try getting back with him, start dating him." She just shook her head. "I know he likes you. It's complicated for you guys! I understand but-," Macy stopped me.

"It is complicated! He's dating someone else! He may love me but he's trying to get over me!"

"Then win him back!"

"It's not that simple!" she yelled. "I have to use everything I have to get him back! I already put him through enough pain!" Then she dropped her cigarette and said, "I'm ready to go to bed. Are you?" I asked as she nodded.

I wake up the next morning, wearing some black plaid pajamas with a white tank top. I see Macy is not in bed anymore. But I hear talking, at least four voices. I go out to see who is here. It's Jake, Macy, and Kyla.

Macy was wearing her I hear Nerds pajamas, which she looked adorable in, they totally fit her perfectly. As for Kyla, she was wearing some shorts that had storm clouds and clouds with a pink surrounding sky. She wore a black tank top with a heart in the middle, in that heart it said _Victoria Secret_.

"Oh my god, I thought you were never wake up!" shouted Macy as I smiled. "But Merry Christmas! Santa came to your Christmas chair!" I laugh as I see the couch is decorated as a tree would be on Christmas morning. There are presents. "Now let's go open them!"

I laughed at Macy as we all sat around the 'tree'. Kyla said, "I'm sorry for being a real bitch lately, I just thought Madison was fun. All she really did was leave me in the times I really needed help. When I was drunk or something, but I really hope we can be friends. It's okay if you didn't give me a gift." She handed me the gift as I opened it and it was a necklace.

A simple silver necklace with a little diamond hanging at the bottom, it was beautiful and I loved it. But it must have cost a fortune for her, I couldn't accept this. This was just too much. I don't accept any gift over fifty dollars. I was staring at it in amazment.

"This must hae cost a lot for you," I finally say. "I can't accept something this expensive."

"I didn't spend any on it, I won it," she said. "I decided you can have it. I got Ally something to. You guys deserve this. You're what kept the house alive, the smoke from being inreconize to bearable, like I don't see how you don't cuss or smoke or even drink."

"Oh don't worry," I say. "I used to. I just changed a lot. My cousin changes my whole entire life, I don't really care. She helped me, But are you sure I can take this."

Kyla exclaimed, "Have it!" I just smile and place it in my lap gently.

"Thanks you," I say as she just nods. Jake smiles at me as I smile back. "Macy, here." I say as I handed her a rectangle box, I knew she would love this. She must have found the presents in the closet and put them under our 'tree'.

As Macy opened it, she smiled as she pulled out tons of stuff. "Hmm…" she said. "I got perume, my favorite, a couple of shirts, a pair of pajamas, a CD of Macy's Favorites, and picture of me, you and Lily." She looked through them all as she laughed, remembering all of our times together. "Oh my god, thank you, best present I could ever get from my best friend!" She hugged me as I hugged back.

Then Macy hands me my gift, and it is small square box with a rectangle box underneath. "Please tell me this does not cost over a hundred dollars."

"Not saying a word Renesmee." I smile as I open it. It's a dress, a black dress. In the other box are silver earrings, silver necklace, and silver everything. But with the dress are black flats. "You said you needed something to wear to your concert that is black or red, plus if you wore red, oh my god I would kill you. You look terrible in red." I smile and laugh.

"Thank you," I say. I grab the last present and gave it to Jacob. "Here," I say.

"You didn't have to give me anything," he said. I looked at him like he was crazy. "I already have everything I want. I have you." I'm blushing as the other two girls were like, aw, that's so sweet. But he takes it and opens it. It was just a simple black jacket.

"Sorry, I just didn't knw what to get you," I say as I stutter some more.

"It's perfect," he says. "Thank you, sorry I didn't get you a gift, I just been with you all the time and I haven't been able to get to a store," he said. I smile. Jake, without hesitating, he takes out fifty dollars and hands it to me.

"No," I say.

"Take it," he says.

"No!" I exclaimed.

"Please," he says softly.

"No!"

"Yes!"

Macy takes it from in one swift movement. "Don't worry, we'll three go out shopping today for Renesmee, you can come to Jacob, so Renesmee will have to use this money. What I have taught you?" she asked me as I laughed. "If someone is giving you a damn gift, because they want to, you take better take that gift!" I laugh some more. "Now grab the money in my hand, it's from Jacob." I just take it, but I hesitated.

Macy and Kyla left for coffee while I and Jacob decided to stay here. As Macy said, "To have some fun." I knew exactly what she meant. But we were not going to that yet. We're not ready, or I'm not at least ready anymore. I think Jacob understood that.

"Merry Christmas," he said in my ear softly. "I love you." I smile as I kissed him softly on the cheek. I notice Jacob was moving towards my lips. Soon his lips, his warm lips were against my silky, smooth lips.

The motion of our lips fit together like a puzzle piece. But I felt as if I was on cloud nine. His lips against mine felt so good. I felt our tongues creeping into each other's mouths. I let out a soft quiet moan as I continued to kiss him. Jacob let it go for a second so we could breathe but we went right back to kissing.

The ways his lips felt so good to mine as he kissed me as I smiled, my finger intertwine in his hair, I had no idea how long we were kissing but I heard the door open and pulled away. It was only Kyla and Macy. Jacob smiled, I was blushing. My heart beat was beating fast, and I knew that. Macy looked at me and was like, "What?" I just look down and blush deep red. I hated inheriting that from my own mother.

"Nothing," I say a little too quickly.

Macy lips curled into a smile and said, "Sure it was nothing, even though I have no idea what the hell is going on." I blush more, as Jacob laughed. "Hmm, anything going on Kyla? I don't think it has anything to do with Jacob, right Kyla?" questioned Macy sarcastically.

"Yea, I totally agree," Kyla said jokingly. "It must be the couch." We all three girls started laughing. "I bet she was having more fun with the couch then Jacob."

"Stop," I said. They were embarrassing me and I didn't like it. Every body just loved to see poor Renesmee blush and be teased all the time, even though it was funny. "Why don't you bug someone else?"

Macy laughed, "Because, it's fun to bug my best friend Nessie!" I giver her an evil look. "I'm only kidding. But…I heard some stuff about Lily."

"What is it?" I question.

Macy replied, "That she is still on drugs, she's smoking pot still, still in rehab. But she's cutting herself and drinking. She's turning out so well, I'm scared for her. Her mom won't tell me where the hell she is so I can tell Lily to stop this shit she's doing. She's going to tell me why she is doing this shit." Macy was at the verge of tears and I knew it. I was scared for her to. Who knew if she would live to be twenty?

"It'll be okay," I say. "Lily always finds her way back, she always finds the right path." Macy nods as I smile at her.

"Well, let's not ruin this Christmas anymore!" Macy exclaimed. "Don't you have a concert tonight? I also heard you had a solo!" I smile and nod. "Kyla here says you're amazing. Stop worrying, you're not going to mess up! You're an amazing piano player. Don't worry about the million people who will be watching you, just think you're practicing and getting it all perfect."

I nod and listen to Macy as she smiles and hugs me.

I look down at my black flats which Macy got me. I was wearing the stuff she gave me. I felt as if I was going to fall or mess up. My fingers felt heavy. I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I was nervous and I didn't know if I could even do this.

I just couldn't go out on the stage in front of who knows how many people. I was scared, nervous, and I wasn't ready. But I had to do this. This is what I've made Macy come down for. I wasn't going to leave her hanging. I knew I could be brave this one time.

"Ness, you'll do great," said one girl from my class. "And good luck." I smile brightly.

"Good luck to you to," I say to her. I didn't even remember her name. Everybody was telling me good luck. The teacher let me do this because I was the best of all piano players. I was amazing, he was right. I could do this.

Soon on the stage I saw the people and took my place at the two other piano players he picked especially just for this concert. He thought we were the best, but thought I was the best out of all of them. It felt like a lot of pressure but I knew I could do this.

Soon the concert went by fast, soon it was my turn. "Now for our lovely piano player Renesmee Cullen to play a special song," he said as I hesitated to start. But I started. I didn't even know what was happening, but it went so quick.

Soon I was hearing Macy squealing, "Oh my gosh! You did such a great job! I don't see how you have doubted yourself!" I hugged her.

"It was you," I say. "You're always pushing me forward, out of my comfort zone, but you don't let me stay in a place too long. If it wasn't for you, I probably am dead." Macy just hugs me. Now thinking, if Macy wasn't there to motivate me, or stand up for me, I probably would have done a suicide.

Jake was leaving my apartment for the night, like he did every other night, but tonight was Christmas. "I love you," I say.

"I love you more," he says and kisses me softly on the lips. I loved how we could just kiss, even without mistletoe.


	14. Chapter 13 Last Kiss

**Last Kiss **

**Chapter 13 **

_I never thought we'd have a last kiss._

_Never imagined we'd would end up like this._

_Your name forever on my lips._

**_Last Kiss by Taylor Swift_**

_Year 2012 _

December 27th, Ally came through the door, talking on her cell phone. "Yea, I know, well yea, hold on for a second," she says. "Hey Nessie, and friends…" I chuckle a little. "Can I call you back?" Soon she was off the phone, eying Macy. "I know the guys there is Jacob your boyfriend. But the girl, is someone you know."

"Hi," she says. "I'm Macy, Nessie's best friend. You must be Ally. She told me a little about you. Damn it, I have to sleep on the floor now, can't believe you came back," said Macy jokingly as Ally laughs.

"Sorry about that, you can sleep in my bed for twenty dollars a night," she says.

Macy smiles and goes, "It's okay, I'm only here two more days before I get murder by my own mother." I smile at Macy. "She says I'm a troublemaker."

"Oh yeah!" I exclaimed. "You told me she said, oh my god Macy, what is the matter with you?" Macy laughs. "You leave home without telling me, you get to the police station over the summer, and you been way over obsessed with Embry. I mean, what the hell is happening to you?" We all laugh, that's when Kyla comes through the door.

"Hey Kyla," all three of us girls say at the same time. "How was your Chrsitmas?" asked Ally.

Soon all of us were talking about Christmas. But I felt kind of bad about leaving Jacob out of this, he came down here to visit me, not see me spend time with my friends or have fun when he could be getting killed. It couldn't be fun for him.

"Doesn't it bother you?" I asked him as we were alone, walking around the city with our hot chocolates. He gave me the look, what? "To see me happy, spending time with my friends, and leaving you out." Jacob gave me a funny look.

He finally says, "Ness, if you're happy, I'm happy. If you're not, I'm sad."

I thought about that, from then on, I knew he really loved me that he would do anything for me. But would I do the same for him?

Life was zooming right before my eyes.

New Years Eve passed by, to New Years Day. Thos were two amazing days. I'll admit I was being a little naughty for those days. But I have New Year Resolutions. But the memory was so crystal clear. It was like I remembered every detail of it. But this is what happened on those days.

_It was around nine at night, us girls were getting dressed and all ready to leave and have a little fun. Just to dance, talk, and have fun. "So," said Macy. "I know I shouldn't be doing this anymore, but I have too before I am a famous soccer player, then we make good New Years Resolutions." Ally, and Kyla looked confused, I knew what she meant. _

_"What the hell do you mean?" asked Ally. _

_I replied, "She means partying, not like the little kid parties, the crazy teen parties. That means ton of dancing, rubbing against guys, drinking, and smoking." _

_"No!" shouted Ally. "I am not being that slutty!" _

_"I'll do it!" Kyla said, who had no problem. _

_"This isn't about being a slut, it's about having fun, that's all what it means," said Macy. "Even ask Renesmee about a few of these parties." I blushed. _

_"What happened?" I explain to her about all the parties, well, some of the parties. Finally we all agree to go and I drink a few cups of beers as Ally drink like hundred. _

_We get back at eleven at night, sitting on the couch, waiting for New Years. We decided not to go to the ball, since I didn't do good in crowds. _

_Once the Ball came down, we all shouted "HAPPY NEW YEARS!" I gave Jake a small peck on the lips. It was really fun. _

Now January 2nd, the day I have been dreading. It was Jake's last day here. Macy stays a little extra longer and left early this morning. Now today was Jake and me day. We were going to do many things. It was going to be amazing.

I held Jake's hand as we walked around New York. "Do you like it here in New York?" asked Jake as I looked around, remembering what I've been promising myself to do here.

"I love it!" I said excitingly. "I love a lot about it; I've been learning a bunch here. And I know my next move in life. Do you know yours, Jacob Black?" He smiles and looks down.

Jacob says, "There's a war going on in a country, we're going to help the country in about a month, I'm going to it." My smile drops into a frown. "They're going to announce it on the news in a week or so."

"Please don't die," I say quickly. "If you're doing this to be brave, stop it now, because it is stupid, I don't want to lose you." Jacob sighed. "Promise that you'll try not to die."

"I promise." I give him a quick hug.

I ask, "Wanna get lunch?" He smiles and nods. We walk together to go and get some lunch.

We were at the airport, it reminded me that day that Jacob left to the Army, which was last year, and I was going to be sad again. "I love you," I say as I hug him.

"I love you too," mumbled Jake. I cried into his shoulder for a moment. The tears keep falling, "I'm going to miss you." I nod as I cried. "Don't worry; focus on your plan of being a teacher to teach people to play piano."

"Okay," I mumble. Jake leans down and kisses me softly for only a few seconds. "I love you."

"I love you too," he mumbled and hugged me as he left for the plane.

As I thought, that was our last kiss for awhile, till he came back, or he died, and never came back. I hope he lives.


	15. Chapter 14 Worrying

**Worrying**

**Chapter 14 **

_ I worry, I wonder all the time. _

_ Why worry? _

**_Why Worry by All American Rejects _**

I lie in bed, holding a new classic book called Pride and Prejudice. I stare at the words, reading them, but not understanding them. Not caring, all I cared was that Jacob lives. I needed him to live. If he doesn't, this would be the end of my life. I wouldn't have anything to live for.

There would be no moment where I would be excited for his letters, his lovely sloppy handwriting, which I loved. The moments where I would smile when he laughs, when I hear him, when I see him. I loved all of those moments.

Then my phone rang. I looked at the Caller ID, but I finally got a phone. I got a good well and better job, to be able to pay for my place and phone. It was Abby, calling from her house phone. I push end. I look down and cry.

I cry for Jacob, who may be getting hurt, or dying, or maybe even dead, we just haven't found out yet. I cry for ignoring Abby, it's stupid and selfish. I cry for ignoring Macy for the past month. But she stopped calling now. But I cry for all the mistakes I've made. The phone rings again, it's Abby. I throw my phone against the wall.

That's when Ally came in. The phone rings again. "I don't get you," she said as she looks at the caller ID. I just look at her, all I did was nod, say hi, and nothing really with her. "When Jake was here, you're happy, when Jake wasn't here before, you were living perfectly fine, you coped!" I just nod. "I don't see the reason why not talking to anyone is the damn answer! It's not going to give you a damn answer!"

"I know!" I shouted.

Then she asked, "Why do you keep living like this then? Isn't it hell?" I looked at her cried for everything that has been happening to me. "Macy called me again. She wants to talk to you really bad; she seems to have something important to say."

"Whatever," I mumble. I was acting like a brat.

"I think you should answer this Abby girl," she says. "I don't know who the hell it is, I don't give a damn. But don't ruin your relationship with other, Jake wouldn't want this." The phone rang again, "It's Abby, answer it." I shook my head no.

In one second I hear, "Oh my god! I can't believe you answer!" Ally threw the phone at me as I roll my eyes. "I missed you so much."

"Abby, I'm really sorry-," but she stopped me.

"You're forgiven."

"I'm sorry about this, I have to go, and I have tons of homework, loads of it. I don't have time to talk. I love you but maybe we can talk another time."

She says, "Sure, whatever." I can tell she is about to cry. "Don't worry about calling, don't make promises to me that won't come true," with that, she hung up.

Ally comes in. "This is why I didn't want to talk to her!" I yelled.

"It's not my fault!" Ally yelled. "You made it like this! You're the one lying! You're shutting yourself out from the world! Don't blame me for your mistakes!"

Ally stormed out. Tears came pouring out. At like two in the morning, I press send to call Macy. It goes right to voicemail. Everyone is sleeping. "M-m-macy, I need you. I m-miss y-you. I'm s-s-so lonely. I really ne-need someone to talk to. I love you, call me back."

It's been a week since I last called Macy and spoke to Abby. It's been three weeks since I got Jacob's letter. I wondered if he really was dead. I worried about him all the time. "Mrs. Long!" I call to my teacher. She looks towards me. "I won't be coming to school at all next week or the next week."

"Why?" she asked.

"Why not?"

"Because we need you here for the concert, we need you Renesmee," she says softly.

I say, "I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to make it. I have to make important trip next week, I have to go to Florida for four day, then Hawaii for at least five days, and Washington for the rest of the time."

"But, we need you," she said.

"But I have to go and see my family. I have too, I'm not in the position for this, I've been like a zombie, I can't do this," I say. "At all."

"Don't be silly, you're perfectly fine."

"What do you think about me setting up a place for people to come and learn how to play music and instruments and everything?" I asked. "Stop being in school?" She stared at me.

"No!" she screamed. "You're the best; we need you for the rest of the year! But go ahead and visit your family. Have a nice trip."

"Thank-you," I say.

I need to put my life back together.


	16. Chapter 15 The Visit

**The Visit **

**Chapter 15 **

_Another turning point._

_A fork stuck in the road_

_Time grabs you by the wrist._

_Directs you where to so go._

_So you make the best of this test._

_And don't ask why. It's not a questions_

_But a lesson learned in time._

**_Time of Our Lives by Green Day _**

The sun was the first thing I saw in Florida, once I got off the plane. If you asked me how the ride was, I would say hell, no matter what. I hated airplanes. Now the next question was, how am I going to get to Aunt Rosalie's house? How am I?

I pull out my phone and call Jordan. "Hola," he said.

"Hello to you too," I say softly. "I need a quick favor."

"What the hell is it?" he asked as I look down at the ground.

"Would one of your friend's come pick me up from the airport? I came to Florida and I want a surprise visit to them."

"Yeah, I'll have to ask one of them," he said. "I'll call you and let you know."

In an hour, I was in a car, on my way to Jordan's house. Yes, I was with one of his friend's whose name was Daniel, Dan, Dean, or whatever his name was. But he didn't talk much which was good. I think Jordan told him not to because I wouldn't show one bit of interest.

Within minutes, I see the light blue two stored house which contained my Uncle and Aunt with my cousins. For a second, I felt nervous to see them. I was scared of what they would say about my gloominess. I was afraid what they would say about me. About what I've did to this family just because I was depressed about everything.

But in that house was my last hope. "Are you going to get out?" he asked as I looked down not wanting to go in. "What is it?"

"It's complicated," I say. "I'm scared, nervous, and everything is just emotions coming at me, I don't like feeling this way."

"One thing I do know is that you're family will never give up on you, and you need to believe and trust in that. So go up there and do your damn surprise visit," Jordan's friend said as I nodded. I stepped onto the driveway.

Once I was at the doorway, his friend started to leave. This was my chance to do something about this. To make everything feel right. And I knocked.

I heard the scurry, rustling, and screaming. "I wanna open the door!" screamed my cousin Daisy but Kayla was like no. They both wanted to open the door. I just wish they would hurry up for just a second. Daisy was the one to open the door. "Nessie!" shouted Daisy as she ran to give me a hug.

"What about Nessie?" questioned Aunt Rose as she came in the room and saw me. "Oh my god! It's really you!" With that she hugged me. I was excited to see them all, and there was no words to describe about seeing them.

Later that night, me and my two cousins were watching tons of Disney movies together. But Kayla fell asleep. "Ness," mumbled Daisy.

I reply, "Yea."

"Abby is mad at you. I've never heard her like this." I look at her confuse. "She's changed. She thinks you're drinking and smoking again. She said you're being a really big bitch lately."

"What," I say. "She called me a bitch. I'm sorry I stopped calling you guys but I was in difficult times. I was like depressed. I couldn't let you guys know. Maybe I was being a bitch, brat, and everything. But I want to make things better between us again."

"I know, you're proved that bye coming here," whispered Daisy.

"Now get to bed," I say. "Or else your mom will come down here and kill us since it is a school night for you." Daisy laughed. I lie awake forever till I hear my phone. It's Macy. I answer it quickly.

"Hi," I whisper. "I need you to be quiet, I'm in Florida and my cousins are sleeping since they have school tomorrow."

Macy was smiling, I just knew, even though I couldn't see her. "I missed you so much." I nodded to myself. "I'm sorry I haven't called back, it's just that I thought it was all damn dreams but it wasn't. So I'm calling you now."

"I miss you and love so much," I say and tears escaped my eyes. "I know I've been real crazy these pass three months. I shouldn't freak when Jake tells me about army stuff. He's doing this because he has to. He's doing what he wants. I should freak out and be depressed."

"You're right," Macy said. "Jake doesn't want you depressed, he wants you happy and every good feeling you can imagine. He loves you and wants you to have a good life. You deserve that!" Macy was crying.

"I still don't understand why he wanted me," I say. "Do you understand that?"

Macy stayed quiet for a few minutes and said, "You know the secret relationship we had." I nodded even though she couldn't see me, but I knew she would tell me no matter. "I freaked out so much because you went on a date with him. He was using me. Because they knew I was a stupid bitch at the time."

"Are you telling the whole story?" I ask quickly. "Did you tell the whole story in New York?"

I got up and headed to the bathroom. "Yea I'm telling the whole story now. I didn't tell you the whole thing in New York or before because I'm ashamed of that happened that night. I just want to forget it!" she yelled as I could hear her crying. "I never told you guys because this is where I wasn't smart, brave or pretty. I felt useless."

_I felt useless. _The words she said ran through my mind. I never knew Macy could feel useless, she had everything. It seemed impossible for her to be useless. It just didn't seem right. Macy never told us this because she feels useless and ashamed.

"I and Jake went on secret dates. I was in love with him," Macy starts. "Jake was everything to me, and he was so great. But it was all a fucking act! In a month we were going to have sex and while we were making-out, his friends were taking pictures of me, naked! Oh my fucking god! Who the hell does that! I mean who the fuck do they think they are!"

"Oh my god," I say. "I'm sorry Macy."

"But there is more," Macy says and continues, "The tortured me. Remember the time when we went out of money. Well it was because of that, and I stole the money. They promised they wouldn't show the pictures to anyone if I gave them money, tons of it."

"What the hell?" I question. "I'm sorry Macy. His friends were big jerks."

"Jacob changed a lot, he matured," she says. "I can tell."

Macy is crying for like ever as I try to calm her down. I can't believe what happened to Macy. I knew I was going to yell at Jacob for this but I would forgive him. I just needed to get anger out on him.

But after an hour or so, I hang up.

The next morning Aunt Rose woke me up and asked if I would take my cousins to school. I said okay because it seemed like I have nothing else to do. I was so tired. My cousins were mumbling and jumbling words. I couldn't focus on that. I just needed sleep.

"RENESMEE!" screamed Kayla and Daisy. "How can you be so tired? We went to bed at the same time!"

"No you guys didn't," Aunt Rose said. "Your dear cousin was talking on the phone till three in the morning. And she was crying. I heard very bad words."

"Sorry," I say. "It was Macy and she told me something and I'm scared for her. I'm wondering I should yell at someone or I should shut up and leave it alone."

"Well that's your decision," said my uncle.

"When was the last time you heard from Jordan?" I asked all suddenly.

"He calls every week," said Uncle Emmet. "I talk to him for a little. My two little girls talk to him but Rose still refuses to speak to him. But Jordan always ask to speak to his mom."

"I guess that's your decision Aunt Rose," I say. "But if I were you, I would talk to him. If you don't, you're just going to ruin this family structure. I'm just telling you."

"Okay," she says. "Keys!" she yells as she throws them at me. "The kids have to go to school. They'll tell you were to go. Whatever you do, don't get out of the car."

I was in my blank tank-top with my white shorts which were my pajamas. My hair was thrown in a messy pony-tail. I burrowed Aunt Rose's black flip flops. I looked like an Oreo. That's what my two cousins said when we got in the car. I would do what Aunt Rose said, don't get out of the car.

I dropped off Kayla first since her school was the closest and the dropped off Daisy. Daisy was talking like crazy when we were parked in her school parking lot. "Time to get to school!" I say. "Now go and get out."

"Come with me!" she shouted.

"No!" I yell back.

Daisy looks down and I know she was planning something just to get me out of the car. But I wonder what Aunt Rose meant by doesn't get out of the car. I knew it meant something crazy. I didn't want to do something crazy right now in the morning.

Daisy grabs my iPhone and ran out of the car. I got out of the car and she yelled, "I guess you have to get out of the car now!" I ran towards her as I got the keys out. She was laughing.

"Get the hell over here!" I yelled. Now thinking, it reminded me of Abby. In the middle of this chaos she would say, stop saying bad words. I was getting back to this habit of cussing. "I'm so going to kill you!"

Once we were in the school I was running. My flip-flops were clanking against the ground. "STOP IT RIGHT THERE!" screamed a lady. Both I and Daisy stop. "What were you thinking Daisy?" Then she looks at me and asks, "Who are you?"

"I don't know," Daisy mumbled.

"I'm Renesmee Cullen, and I'm her cousin," I say.

"Is that a phone?" this lady ask. Daisy nods and hands it to this lady. "Whose is this?"

"Mine," I say quickly.

"Tell me what happened." My phone started to ring and she didn't hand the phone back. It rang again and again. I saw the number, it was Jacob.

"Give me it!" I yelled. I snatched it from her but I was too late to answer it so I called back. Someone answered. "Hello," said this guy who was not Jacob.

"Is Jacob Black there?" I ask.

"Uh…no, he just left. Who are you?"

"I'm Renesmee Cullen, his girlfriend."

"Oh, he talks about you, and he like loves you!"

"Well can you give him a message?" The guys says sure whatever. I hear Daisy telling the story and talking about who Jacob was and where he was. "Can you tell him I love him, miss him, tell him I'm visiting my family, and tell him to be safe? Bye."

"I'm sorry," mumbled Daisy as she heads to class and I am left by myself to cry and walk to the car.

It's been two days since Jacob has called me. But I was still going to enjoy my time here in Florida with my family. I was staying her till Sunday. So we had the whole weekend till Sunday morning.

Daisy was still feeling bad about Jacob thing. Even though I told her a million times that it was okay and it didn't matter. But she didn't believe. She was right. I'm mad at her but I don't want to make things worst between us. You know? I'm trying to make a strong family relationship which is what I want.

In that Friday afternoon while I and my cousins were playingh Uno together. My phone strated to ring as I grab it and answer quickly. "Hey," I say.

"Hey," said Jordan. "How's the life at my old house?" I smile.

"It's going good," I said. "Just a playing a game nwith your sisters."

"It's Jordan!" shouted Kayla and Daisy. "Can we speak to him?" I nod as I put the phone on speaker phone. "Hi Jordan!" they both yell.

"Hey," he says back. "So what game are you guys playing?"

"Uno!" yelled Kayla. Jordan laughs. "Right now I have only two cards!"

Aunt Rose comes in and says, "What would you guys like for lunch?" Diasy and Kayla shrug as Aunt Rose turns to me. "Does pizza sound good?"

"Yeah, it sounds great," I answer.

"Mom," says Jordan from the phone.

Aunt Rose just walks away once she hears that voice. "God," he mumbles. "She's still mad at me for the Emily thing, can you guys talk to her for me?"

"No!" shouted his sisters. "She'll yell at us for it."

"I will, I'll try to be understandable with her," I say. "You guys can talk to him." I got up and went to Aunt Rose as she just got off the phone. "Hey," I say.

Aunt Rose just nods towards me. "If this is about Jordan, I don't want to talk about it."

"When will you want to?" I question her. "I think we both know the answer to that. It's never. You can't be mad at him forever. You're going to have to talk"

"We're not talking about this!" she snaps.

"Well I am!" I shout back. "You're going to listen! What if he just dies in the plane crash? You're gonna have that goddamn guilt! Cause the last thing you said to him was he's stupid for going with Emily and that you're not going to support him!"

"Goddamn it!" Aunt Rose curses loudly. "Renesmee, some things will just never be fixed!"

I say, "Jordan wants to fix it; you're just the one not wanting to." Before she said something I left the room in the living room. Jordan and his sisters were still talking. I smile at them as I just leave right out the front door letting them continue their conversation.

Later that night I was still walking everywhere around town. My stomach was growling, rumbling, and begging for food. I haven't ate since this morning. I haven't gone back to the house. They had no contact with me since I let my cousins have the phone to talk to their brother.

About an hour later I grab a hot chocolate to drink. I walk around in this town. Within ten minutes, it's pouring rain. I'm wearing just dark skinny jeans and a tank top with no jacket on. I run and run. I can't tell where I am. I walk into a big white building looking around inside. It's nice and warm.

I see people walking around. I sit down in one of the chairs. "You're kinda late, visiting hours ends in ten minutes."

"I'm sorry," I say. "What did you say?"

"Visiting hours end in ten minutes."

"What is this place?"

"To help or prevent people from addictions like drugs, alcohol, and smoking. Or to treat mental/emotional problems. So a Treatment place." When she said that, I thought of Lily.

"Is there a Lily Farmington?" I ask, remembering her name. The lady looks through her list and nods. Out of all the places, I am here in the Treatment area of Florida, where Lily is. "Can I visit her?" The lady slowly nods.

The lady leads me through the hallway to a room. "She'll shortly be here." I nod. In a minute or so, I see a totally different girl.

"Goddamn it, stop touching me!" She shouts. But this was Lily. Her hair was short, up to her shoulders. It was blond like it always has been. Her blue eyes were still the same. But she was pale. She wore a long white t-shirt with pajama bottoms on. "Who the hell is visiting me? My aunt only visits me on Sundays!"

"I don't know you guys must know each other! Take your medication while you're in there and talk to this girl!" shouted the lady. "Don't argue with me."

Lily turns around. "Lily," I say. Lily stares at me like this couldn't even be possible. "It's me, Renesmee."

Oh my god," she breathes out as she runs toward me and hugs me. I hug her back, "You're freezing. Why are you here? How did you know I was here?" she questioned me.

"Honestly, I don't know why I'm here. I'm visiting my cousins and aunt and uncle. And I left there house. It was puring rain. I came in here. And Macy told me what happened with you and your mom. How you got here because she found out," but before I could finish she interrupted.

"At first I was in here for drugs, drug abuse," she says. "Now I'm here to make sure I don't start it again and to make sure I don't cut myself." I look at her wrist which had scars on them. "And they keep me busy. They made me plant a garden outside of this building. They made me draw pictures and write. They're also having me learn how to play a piano."

"Is it fun?" I ask.

"It actually is. Don't you play the piano?" she ask. "Are you going to do that as a career?"

"I actually am in college for it. I've done concerts and I'm missing one tomorrow night or it's sometime soon. I'm thinking about just going back to Washington to open up a school and teach kids how to play the piano."

"That sounds so cool!" Lily shouts. "What about Macy?"

"She is going to college next month and becoming a soccer player. She stopped smoking and drinking know so she can have a better health and do better in soccer. That was always her lifelong dream."

"What happened to you and Jacob?" Lily ask. I wasn't going to cry or yell, she just didn't know yet and I was going to tell her.

"He went into the army and he's in a war," I say. "I'm scared for him. We're still dating."

"I'm sorry," she says. "I know you guys love each other. Too much. Did you guys have sex?"

I blush. "No, we almost did once but he said no."

Lily smiles. "That sucks." We both laugh. Lily might have changed in look but her personality never changed. "I want to leave this place. I feel like I'm ready to leave and fly. My aunt doesn't believe me or the people here. I think I'm doing better. But they say I need to stay her in longer."

I roll my eyes. "That's harsh. They just want you to have a better life. This is the best for you right now. Is there a phone I can call from?" Lily nods as she leads me to the phone.

"Hello," Aunt Rose said.

"Can you pick me up?" I question.

For the next couple days we were all smiling, laughing and having fun. It was amazing to be with my family. I really did build our relationship. I promised to keep in contact and everything to them so I could just even get dropped off at the airport.

But we all just played games, watched movies, and spoke. Everything was going to work out between us all. I kept on saying that to myself over and over. I wanted to believe that but I wasn't sure it was going to happen.

But now I was on my plane to go visit Hawaii to see Aunt Alice, Uncle Jasper, and Abby. I knew Abby was so mad at me. She even described me as curse word, which meant she was really mad because I wasn't answering and I was making her curse. Now I'm starting to feel bad about this. But she'll be thrilled to see me.

Abby will convince her parents to not let her go to school. We'll be doing so many things together in Hawaii. It'll be amazing to be with Abby again. I can have her be happy with me and not so mad and like her charging at me as she says, get the fuck away from me. This will probably not happen.

But this visit was making me happy. I got to see my family in Florida, Lily, and now I get to see Abby and see how she is doing. I was feeling good about this and confident. But how was I going to get to their house instead of calling them and say surprise. That was like saying I'm pregnant. I was most likely going to never get there. But I'm going to make it there.

On Monday morning, it was bright and I was walking around in Hawaii. I made my way inside of a store and said, "Excuse me." The woman looked at me. "Do you know someone named Alice Hale? Or Jasper Hale? Or their daughter Abby?"

"Yes," she said slowly. She was looking at me weird. It was probably because I was so pale and I was wearing jeans in this kind of weather.

"Where do they live?"

"About ten miles from here. You keep going straight and go up the hill. Turn right, then left, then right. Go up another hill and turn right and you'll see the house.

"Okay," I say. "Thank-you. Do you have water I can buy."

"For a dollar," she says as I hand the money over to her. This was going to be along walk. It was probably faster in the car. They probably had a car.

Within an hour, I was turning on the first left. I was tired. I was breathing so hard. I haven't done exercise like this in forever, like up hills. This was insane. My water was already finished and my mouth was dry. "Damn this," I mumble. I was even more tired from carrying my suitcase.

This hill took like an hour and half to get to the top. By then I just sat on the sidewalk. "Hello," says a small voice. "Are you okay?"

"I'm just tired. I've been walking for like two hours. My phone is about to die and I'm about to die too," I say and not even looking up to see what the person looked like. "Like this is not even funny. This is bullshit!"

"Would you like to get a ride to wherever you're going?"

"Yes," I say quickly. I get up and hop in this girl's car. "You know Alice Hale's house?" She nodded. "Well that's where I'm going."

"You can get changed if you want," I hear her say but I nod no.

Once we're there and turn right, you could see the house but it was like half mile to get there. This was not normal. But the house was nice. I liked it. I forgot how wonderful their house was here.

"Thank-you for the ride," I say as we stop in front of the house.

"Okay Ness," said the girl and I finally just look at the girl.

"Ashley," I say remembering her from Hawaii. The time I visit her, which was a long time ago and we were friends here in Hawaii. Or whenever I visit.

"Here's my number." I take it and smile.

Here goes nothing.

I knock on there door. No one answers. I knock on the door again. Within ten minutes I realize that they're not home at all. "This is bullshit!" I shout. "I walk like ten fucking mile to get here to go in an air conditioned house and you guys aren't home! Bullshit I tell you!" I was yelling at the door. I probably looked insane. I throw my phone and it lands against the side walk. "Shit!"

I looked at my phone and it won't turn on. But it had cracks on it. This is what I get. This is a pretty crappy day for me right now. My phone is either dead or broken. This person is just staring at me and she says, "Can you stop your cursing? I have kids you know?"

"I'm sorry," I say. "This just been a really crappy day for me. I had to walk here and then I find out they're not even home! I'm yelling at a door. My phone is broken or dead. This is bullshit here. Sorry."

In the background I see Abby in the house. She's at the neighbor's house. "Nessie!" she shouted as the mom looks at Abby. She comes running towards me as I get a hug from her. "What are you doing here?"

"You know this girl?"

"Yes," says Abby. "This is my cousin Renesmee. We call her Nessie or Ness. I thought she was out of the cussing habit but I guess not."

"Hey," I say. "I have a headache here and I am like dehydrated right now. You're lucky I stopped smoking and drinking. It's just that everything is complicated right now. I'm so hot right now."

"Yep, I be Jacob would agree," joked Abby. We both laugh. "But I never heard you ever say the f-word. Why did you say it?"

"I only say it when it's just been a crappy day. It's been one for me." We laugh.

"Can she come in?" Abby ask as the mom just nods as she rolls her eyes. I sit on the couch.

I ask, "Um, can I use your shower, bathroom?" The mom nods slowly, shows me how everything works.

I take a cold shower. I put on my shorts with a black t-shirt. I lay down on her couch. My eyes drift away and close. That's the last thing I remember.

I wake up the next day with the bright sun shining at me. I am in a totally different house. My head is pounding like crazy. It feels as if it could burst out any minute. I feel my stomach growling like crazy. I got up from the bed I was in and walked out to the kitchen.

"Good morning," said Uncle Jasper. "I was surprise to see you came to Hawaii. Abby's been upset about you and the phone calls. Abby plugged your phone in. It's alive but cracked as I seen."

"Thanks," I say. "Yesterday was not a good day for me. I walked like five hundred miles to get here. Then you guys weren't home. It was just not a good day." Uncle Jasper nods. "What tome is?"

"It's six in the morning," he replies. "I leave around six thirty to go to work till ten. Then I got to my next job which ends at two. Then I go to my next job, which goes to five. Then I come home. Your Aunt does whatever she wants during the day. But she has to take Abby to school." I nod. "You are free to take anything from us."

"Thank-you," I say. "I appreciate it." Uncle Jasper nods as he leaves the room to another. I got a text from Jordan, Macy, and Aunt Rose.

M- **Why aren't you answering my phone calls? Are you ignoring me again? **

J- **So…I'm in Utah. And thanks. My mom started to talk to me. **

Aunt Rose- **Did you make it to Hawaii okay? **

I text back to Macy and said no to both, and it was because my phone died. I tell Jordan your welcome and that's cool for being in Utah. I ask why also. To Aunt Rose I tell her everything I had to go through once I got into Hawaii.

I arose from my seat and look for cereal to eat. I sit at the table by myself as I eat till I am full, or stuffed. "Renesmee!" Abby shouted. "I missed you so much. I'm not going to school today or the rest of the week because you're here!" I smile.

"So, what are we going to do today?" I ask.

Abby said, "Stay inside all day because we don't want you to die from the heat. I swear you looked as if you could die yesterday." I started laughing.

"Abby, I'm sorry for everything," I say. "I just need to get that out before the guilt over took me. So before I got here I was in Florida. We had so much fun. I saw Lily, remember her?" Abby nods. I tell her everything that has happened in Florida. I tell her what happened to me yesterday as she just laughs at me.

"Wow," she says that very long. "That's what all the cussing was for!" I nod as I blush. It was probably the most stupid excuse she has ever heard in her entire life.

Till noon we are just talking, playing games as we talk, and Abby was the one doing most of the talking. "Let's go to the beach," said Abby. "Do you bring a bating suit?" Then I thought about that and nodded no. "You can burrow one of my mom's."

Abby goes through her mom's bating suits. "Purple bikini, black one piece, blue bikini, black bikini, red two pieces, or a green bikini." I thought about that but she then said, "Purple bikini." She throws it at me.

"I was going to pick the black one piece," I said.

"No! Let's see what the boys of Hawaii think of you. And plus, you look good in purple. So just wear it," said Abby as we both got changed. I put jean short shorts on with a black tank top over with come random pair of flip flops I brought.

"Are we walking there?" I asked.

"No, you're driving us there with my car which they bought early. But I can't drive it yet but you can," said Abby. She throws me the keys as we get into the car.

In twenty minutes we were there at the beach. I grab my towel as I put on black sunglasses on and head down to the beach with Abby as we find a spot to lay. I swear, everyone was staring at us. "You really need to get tan."

"I can't tan," I say. "I can't even burn." Abby rolls her eyes at me once I say that. "It doesn't matter anyways. I don't need to be tan in Washington or New York!"

"Whatever you say Ness!" shouted Abby as I pull my shorts off and t-shirt. Abby is laughing as she watches some boys look at me.

I hear one girl shout, "Stop checking that girl out! You're being a manwhore!" I and Abby couldn't help but laugh.

This one guys was like, "You're so hot." I blush and smile. "You want to go on a date tonight?" I laughed.

"Sorry," I say and then I tell a lie. "I already have a date with a boy from here tonight." Abby held in her laugh. "And tomorrow. I'm booked all week for dates. Maybe you should have met me sooner and maybe you would have gotten a date with me."

"How about now?"

"Sorry, I'm here with my little cousin. I don't think it will be acceptable if we start making out, and then it leads to something more. Like…" I start to say and then whisper in his ear, "sex." I swear that guy was like in daze.

I and Abby walked farther away and then burst out laughing. "You're being such a flirt!" yelled Abby. "I never knew you could be so flirty!"

"Years and years of practice, Macy taught me, and I used it only at parties when I wasn't dating Jacob. Okay…I still used it but I only danced with them. Maybe dance a little dirty." We both laughed and laughed.

"No offense but some people will think you're a little slut." I shrug as we both smile like crazy but then we laugh again. Some girls are just eying me but then I see Ashley.

"So, I've heard we got a little slut in town," jokes Ashley.

"I was just being a little too flirty and got a little carried away but it's so funny!" I shout as I and Abby laugh.

Ashley says, "Better stay away from my boyfriend!" All three of us laugh. "You guys were kidding about the slut part?"

"Yea," I say. "I have a boyfriend that I haven't spoke to since New Years and Christmas or seen him since he's in the army. And I'm dealing with it. But it'll be fun to mess around with these guys." We laugh again. "Nice to see you again but me and Abby are going to go in the water."

My feet touch the water as it feels warm to me. It was like bathwater. It was felt warm and I went deeper and deeper into it. Abby was by me. I splashed her and she splashed me back. "Abby!" screamed a little girl. We both went back to shore. "You little skipper!"

Abby laughs. "I know. I skipped school. I won't be there for the rest of the week because I am here with my cousin and she needs something to be with. Lila this is Renesmee or Nessie for short. Ness this is Lila my friend."

"Hi Lila," I say. "It's nice to meet you." We go over by our towels as I just lay there and let the two girls talk. The sun felt good to skin. I love the warmth of it. I haven't been in sun like this in months. It felt good to be able to see the sun since Florida wasn't that sunny. My phone started to ring, and caller ID said Macy.

Once I answered, she screamed. "Ow!" I say as she laughs.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Nessie!" she screams. "I'm so excited right now! There's no words to describe this!" Someone kissed her and now she was utterly in love with them forever. But I didn't know who it was.

"Okay, what happened? With who? How is it so amazing?" I question as she laughs.

"Embry kissed me!" she shouted. That's when I start smiling. "It was amazing. His lips against mine again felt so damn good! Not good! It's damn good! I forgot how much of an amazing kisser he is!"

"What about when you go to college?" I ask.

"He has no plans, so we're going to get an apartment together and I'm going to college. Then eventually he'll ask for my hand and we'll be engaged for a while till I'm out of college. Then we'll get married in the sunset. We talked about this all last night after the kiss. It's like we never broke up!" Macy kept talking about how amazing Embry was. I was glad she was happy with Embry.

Embry was the only person she trusted among the boys in La Push. I was happy she has someone for her and she wouldn't be alone, but she would have a boyfriend by her side. It made me happy that she was happy. I was excited her. You couldn't blame me for not being happy. I was just excited for her

Whle we were driving home later and got out of the car. There was a boy. He wore tan shorts with no shirt. "Hey Abby!" he calls.

"Hi," she said a sweet little voice. "Andrew." I smile at her. "This is my cousin Renesmee or Nessie for short. Andrew smile.

"Hi Nessie," he says as I wave.

"Hey," I say.

"Well we better go inside and eat dinner," Abby says. "So bye."

I glared at her. "So Andrew? He's good looking. I bet all the girls after him." Abby is blushing. "You like him!" I yell once we're inside.

"No!" she snaps. But she is still blushing like crazy. "We are just friends!"

"That's what the girls say about they're guys that are just friend but they end up dating, and end up getting married. Or it end tragic." Abby is blushing.

"I don't like him." She goes to her room to get changed.

"She likes Andrew," said Aunt Alice who was sitting on the couch. I nod in agreement as we both smile at each other. Abby did like Andrew. He seemed like a good kid, so I would accept him as another cousin.

I go into the guest room to get changed also.

Everything went perfect last night, and today. Now it was night time on Thursday. It's like eleven at night as I lie there awake staring at the ceiling. But then I hear a door shut. My first instinct was that I got up with my phone and to the kitchen with a knife.

I looked around, to see if anyone was in here. Then I open the door and go outside. It's unlocked and I take a step outside. But then in distance I see Abby with Andrew.

"Oh my god," I mumble. They look over here and I stuck in the bushes. I watch them ofr about ten minutes and he kisses her on the cheek. Then I continuie to hide in the bushes. I don't come out because she goes inside and opens the door, then she locks it.

"Shit," I say under my breath. How was I going to get in without her knowing I was out here watching her? I look around the house and try to open my window. "Shit," I say again and again. But the I just sit there in there back yard sseing that they had a hammock. I guess I would sleep there for the night.

Abby woke me up from my sleep. "What are you doing out here?" she ask.

"Um, I wanted to sleep under the stars," I lie. "It was nice. What day is it?"

"Friday, noon."

"Shit!" I yell. "My plane leaves in two hours Abby! I have to get going!"

I am running around everywhere, gathering my stuff. "Are you going to tell the truth now?"

"About what?"

"Why you were outside?"

"Okay, here's the truth. I heard the front door close and I went outside to check what's going on and everything because I'm scared someone is out there killing someone. But then you know what I see, guess. Then you locked the door and I couldn't back in," I answer.

"You saw us," Abby says slowly. I nod. "You won't tell anyone though, right?"

"I promise, let's talk about this another time, when I'm in Washington with my parents. Kay? I'll call you. Is your mom here?" I ask.

Abby nods as I run towards her mom to ask her to give me a ride to the airport.

By the next morning, I am in Port Angelos Washington. All I have to do is call Macy to pick me up so I can get home and surprise my parents. Then it'll be the end of this visit. Then I can go back to college and feel better about my life.

I decided two days would be long enough since I really had to get back to school. It'll be two weeks since I've been gone in two days. I'll be back on Monday, in class. That was my plan and I was sticking to it.

I cal Macy and she said of course she would pick me up. She told me everything that happened so far. Then I blurted, "I saw Lily."

"What!" Macy shouted. "When?"

"While I was in Florida," I answer.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I guess I just never thought about it. She's in there to get better from staying away from drugs and cutting herself. They're making her do hand on things. She's learning how to play piano. She seemed happy to seem me. We only talked for a short amount time but it was worth it," I say.

"Oh my god, I'm glad she is okay."

"But she wants to get out of there. Her hair is short, like up to her shoulders." Macy gasped. I told her about Hawaii and Florida. I told her everything. "This will be the only time I'll see you," I say. "I'll be visitng with my parents most of the time for two days and then leaving.

In those two days, all we did was talk. And talk. We poke of everything. I felt free to tell my parents everything. But I didn't. I really enjoyed being with them.

We had such and amazing time. I really did love them.


	17. Chapter 16 Back

**Back **

**Chapter 16 **

**_Ally's Song_**

_(You'll understand later in the story. even though it does not go with this chapter but it'll make sense later in the story.)_

Once I was back in my apartment, I sighed. Everything was going to go back to normal. I wanted to believe that statement so bad, even though it was never going to be true. I see Kyla on the couch as she sees me. I wave to her. "You look better," she finally says.

"Thanks," I mumble. "Did any letters come from Jacob?" Kyla nodded and pointed towards the counter. "Thanks, I know I've been living like shit, but I'm not going to anymore. Don't worry about me."

"That's statement is kind of too scary to believe," said Kyla. "I don't know if I can believe. For the last couple of months, you looked like you were on drugs. No offense."

I looked at Kyla in disbelief as I shook my head. I did not look like I was on drugs. "Even ask Ally, you looked like you were slowly killing yourself. We were worried about you!"

"I'm sorry!" I yelled. "You don't have to worry about someone in war, every day I know someone is dying out there! And I'm hoping it's not Jacob every single time! He's the only guy I've ever dated!"

"So," she says. She was really trying to push me over the edge. "Who cares?"

"Shut up!" I yell. "I already ruined enough. I ruined my relationships with close friends and now I might be losing Jacob. Now all the pressure is on me in piano and everything. I'm expected to be so smart! I'm expected that from everyone! Even my friends! It's just too much from what's going on!"

"Is that then real reason?" questioned Kyla. "There's too much pressure and stress and Jacob. And Ness, I lost my dad from the army. He died three years ago. I know what it feels like, knowing they might die. My mom went insane after that. She's in mental hospitable. And I had live with my sane grandma, when my insane mom was crazy."

This was the first time I really ever heard Kyla talk about her family and feel safe and free to tell me anything. "I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't know."

"After my mom was like that, I went on drugs for a little while. Like I smoked weed and all this bad stuff, and I was unstable." Kyla was really crying for once. "My grandma told me to get my shit together or else I'll be where my mom is."

I hugged Kyla as I cried with her. We had a little in common. Except I've never done drugs besides alcohol and cigarettes. But it was the coice I made and wanted. But I loved all my friends.

Since the last talk with Kyla, I felt better and more relief. We actually had things in common which I never expected of us. She had someone close in the army as I had someone close in the army. We both went unstable for different reasons, but we went unstable. We both needed a push to stop being unstable. Like Ally gave me a push so I would stop.

It's been two months. It's May eleventh. I look in the mirror to see me worn out. For the pass week, we had concerts every night for this week for mother's day. To let mothers and families to see our concerts, I was tired from it all.

My cracked iPhone started to vibrate. "Mom," I say.

"So, how's the concerts sweetheart?" my mom ask softly to me as I hear in the background of a sports going on.

"Tiring," I reply. "But I've learned a lot about the piano. I leanred new music, new notes and techniques! And I learned the history, the now, and future of pianos. I learned lots about other music instruments!" I was smiling as I told my mom all this.

"Seems like you're having too much fun in New York!" she says as we both laugh. "I hope you do a wonderful job at your concert. I'm actually going to go up there today, I'm here tonight and leaving tomorrow morning. So I can see my baby girl."

"Mom," I say. "I'm you're only child."

"And I want to see you grow up. I need to see one of your concerts one of these days and this is a mother's day one, so I think I should go!"

"Okay, I'll see you tonight. I love you."

"I love you too," she says softly.

I hang up and smile; now I have two hours to get ready. "So sweet," said Madison as I rolled my eyes. "Was that Jacob?" she asked. For the past month, she's been asking about Jacob.

"No," I say as I head to the kitchen and grab some chips to eat. "Why do you care? He doesn't even like you. No one likes you. They just like you for you're goddamn body which isn't special!"

"That wasn't very nice to say!" snapped Madison. "You think you're all that, that you're that special girl, but you aren't, and you're really a bitch. Jacob will move on from you. When was the last time he called or wrote a letter?"

"He called two months ago and I got a letter from him last week," I say. "We love each other and that's how it is always going to be. Stop being jealous and we all know you're not special, we know you're a slut."

With that I left the room to the bathroom as I got change in the strapless yellow dress that went right above my knees. This is what I had to wear for the concert as the others wore pink or light green or yellow. I put on my silver necklace with silver flats. My hair which I put in curls as I do a waterfall braid while the rest of my hair is straight and down.

I couldn't wait to see my mom. After the concert, we were going to meet up at a fancy Italian restaurant that we were lucky to even get in. We were going to have just a wonderful night and I was going to enjoy every minute of it.

Once I was on that stage, I just played, and before I knew it, I was off the stage. "Good job tonight! Tomorrow is the last concert. I expect you in class Monday to start working on our next piece for the biggest concerts which is this summer in July!" called out my teacher. "We'll explain more in class!"

I was heading to my car to drive to that just wonderful fancy place my mom spoke about. In minutes I was there. I saw my mom outside the door smiling. I ran towards her as we hugged. "I missed you so much!"

My mom hugged me and said, "I love you. Are we going to eat?" I nod as we headed inside. "Reservations for Cullen." The waiter led us to our table as we sat down in this beautiful place. There were chandeliers everywhere. It was so pretty and expensive. How could I be in a place like this?

"So, has Macy left for college?" I ask wondering.

"Yea, least month, and I don't know what is going on but she's gone. Shouldn't you know?" ask my mom.

"I should but we been crazy all last month. Getting ready for this concert you just heard. And homework on top of all that, did dad tell you I started another class?"

"What?" questioned my mom.

"Well, I am in the process of learning how to play flute, then the oboe then I'll learn saxophone, then trombone, then trumpet, then clarinet, and then the French horn. I plan on learning this all year. I want to remember it all. But I'll mostly major in piano. After I learn those I want to learn how to play violin, cello, and the harp. That's all I'm planning."

"That's very good," my mom says as the waiter comes by.

"Drinks?" he ask.

"I'll take water," I reply.

"Wine please," replied my mother. I stare at her. "It's a special occasion." I smile and roll my eyes as we chuckle.

"But, do you think it's too much to learn in two or three years?" I ask. "My teacher says I'll be able to get oboe, flute, and clarinet easily. Once I start to play trombone, trumpet, and French horn. It'll be easier. But she says the violin is tricky. Especially the cello after playing all those instruments, and she says harps are complicated. But I don't think it's too much. But she says it'll be tricky, it'll take about ten to twenty years to actually master all those."

"I believe in you," says my mom. "If you think you can master it quick, you might be able to, just be confident and happy." I give my mom my biggest smile as she let's out a small laugh.

The waiter sets our drinks on the table. My mom takes a sip of her wine as I drink my water. "Um, can we small salads?" she asked as the waiter nods to go get them.

I and my mom smile at each other.

_Dear Renesmee, _

_I love you. You mean everything to me. Now…this may be a big favor I'm asking you but I'm going to be in Washington in all the month of August. I'm taking a month break from the army from August 1st to September 11th. So I can be with you on your birthday. But can you be in Washington for your birthday at least? It would be great if you were there the whole time but I know you have college? So see if you can come? I love you. _

_Love Jacob _

As I finished the letter, I was smiling. I couldn't help it. He was coming to Washington and I had to go there with him. "Someone is happy today," said Ally as Kyla smiled.

"Well, Jacob wrote a letter saying he is going to be in Washington all of August and till September 11th, so he can be with me on my birthday," I say. "I don't want my birthday to happen. That'll mean I'm nineteen."

"Oh my god, when's you're birthday?" asked Kyla.

"Not telling!" I yelled.

"I'll find out from your mom!" yelled Kyla. "I can go in your phone to see!" I laugh. "I'm coming to Washington with you! I am going to meet your family!"

"Sure you will," I say.

"Can we go with you for a couple of weeks?" asked Ally.

"Um…sure, I'll probably be doing online courses for everything so I can learn everything they do online so I can be up there," I say.

"We'll do the same," they both said.

"_Turn it up. Make it loud. Jamming out alone! I love this song!" _I hear Ally singing. She's done this regularly now. Once I go in the room I clap. She stops the music right away. "Do you really have to listen?"

"But you're amazing, and you're getting really good!" I say loudly. "Like oh my god we should put you on youtube!"

Ally laughs and shakes her head. "It was just a song that's not mine. But here is one of mine." She hands me a sheet of paper with lyrics.

It says:

_You're all I got left. _

_You're all I need right now. _

_You're all I want right now. _

_But it seems that you don't need or want me. _

_It's really heartbreaking…(x2) _

_But I guess I'm okay with that. _

_When I'm really not. _

_Chorus_

_So here I am begging for you to come back into my arms!_

_I really need protection. _

_But I guess you're saying hell no. _

_But I don't want that answer. _

_I really just need you. _

_Verse_

_So here I am sitting alone in a room…_

_Without you! _

_It seems that I'm losing myself. _

_It's really heartbreaking…(x2)_

_I know you're thinking that I'm a fool. _

_Even know we both know that's not the damn problem. _

_We just both know I need you. _

_Chorus_

_So time passes by. _

_Oh...oh…oh…oh…oh _

_Till we see each other again. _

_Now I'm sitting here alone in café. _

_I look up from my coffee to see you looking at me…_

_With a smile. _

I see lines crossed and undone. It was all so sloppy but it was such a good song once you just read the lyrics. "Somehow this reminds me of me but more depressing."

"It is inspired off you," she replied as I smile at her. "You can be very inspiring!"

"Thank-you," I say. "Do you have music?"

"No, but will you make music for me?"

"Or course."

"Awesome! When do we start?"

"Are you coming to Washington with me?"

"Yes."

"We'll start there."

"Great!"

In no time everything passed by again. June went flying away, and July went flying away as well as the concert did. Everything was in place for us to go. They were allowing us to do on online courses. Ally was only going for the last two weeks of August till my birthday. I was going to be there the whole time. Kyla and Macy were going to go on the week on my birthday. I would be there the whole time.

I couldn't wait to see Jacob. He was my life and coming back for now. We were all going to have an amazing time, which is what I wanted. I wanted to see Jacob. It was going to be great just to be with him.

"Thanks for dropping me off the airport," I said to Kyla. "See you in about month!"

"Okay!" she shouted. "Have fun! Don't have too much fun! I mean in a bed too!" I laugh and blush as I walk in and board my plane.

I was ready to be back in Washington for awhile.


	18. Chapter 17 Arguing

**Arguing **

**Chapter 17 **

_"Discussion is an exchange of knowledge, and argument an exchange of ignorance." _

**_~Robert Quillen~_**

It was August 1st, around eight at night. I saw my dad's silver Volvo in the parking lot from where my plane landed. It would be nice to see dad again since I haven't seen him since the visit I did with everyone. He's leaning up against his car and I lit up a smile.

"Hey dad," I say. My dad smiles as I give him a quick hug. "I missed you." My dad just hugs me back but doesn't say a word. I wonder why he is so silent. What was wrong with him?

Once I got in the car my dad was driving. We were silent for ten long minutes. I couldn't help it but ask, "What's the matter?"

"What do you mean?" he questions.

"You know what I mean. You haven't said a word to me."

"I have too."

"Barley, you haven't even asked how college was? Or if I'm doing well? Or if there is anything wrong with me?"

"Renesmee, I just don't know if there is anything to talk about. You're here just to see Jacob and we know it." That took me by surprise and it hurt went he said that.

"That isn't the whole entire reason," I say, "You and mom are the reason too. So is Macy since she's coming here for my birthday. I'm not here just to see Jacob!"

With that, the whole car ride was silent till we got in the house. Once we were out of the car, my dad grabbed my bags but before I went inside he asked, "Did you have sex with Jacob when he came to visit you in New York?"

I stared at him in disbelief, he didn't trust me alone. He didn't trust me with Jacob. Did he not think I had self control? I ignore him and just went inside taking deep breaths. I didn't really want to be asked that question over and over. One of these days I'm just going to scream I had sex with Jacob, even if I didn't.

"Hey mom!" I yell as I see mom in the kitchen cooking. "What are you cooking?"

"I'm cooking fettuccine with bread sticks and some salad," replied mom.

"Would you like help?"

"Sure, you can start the bread sticks by making them from scratch. The recipe is on the table."

I got started on making the most amazing bread sticks. They were my grandma's recipe on my mom's side. She loved Italian food. Not so much of anything else. I wasn't really big on eating meat like steak or chicken. I was so use to eating pasta and Italian from all these years. But once in awhile I would make all that meat and stuff.

By the time it was done, us as a family sits down at the table. We grab some food. "Let's say prayer first." I was confused. We never said prayer. I just nod and do the way they say prayer and then we eat. "We need to talk about some things with you," says mom.

"Okay," I say slowly. I have no idea what it is going to be. I'm kind of nervous about this all. How they're saying it is like someone died. But no one died. No one would die now. It just didn't seem that bad. "What is it?"

"I'm pregnant," mom says. I dropped my fork in disbelief in what she said. I knew my jaw dropped to the floor. This was insane. She couldn't be. Why would she wait eighteen years to have another kid? That's just insane.

"Are you serious?" I ask.

"Yes, we're serious," said my dad.

"Oh my god," I mumble. "Why now? After eighteen years, almost nineteen years."

"Well I'm still young. I had you when I was eighteen years old," mom said. "I'm only thirty-six right now, thirty-seven soon. So why not now?"

"How many months?" I ask. "It can't be that many."

"Just two."

I nod. I was going to be an older sister. "Mom, if you think about it, if I and Jacob married, she would have a brother in law at two or three, maybe four years old. She might even be aunt at her age. Her niece and nephews would be like the same age if I had kids right now!"

"Don't worry," says mom. "You and Jacob won't be marrying anytime soon." I nod, knowing that was true. Jacob was in the army and he needed to finish that. Then we would get married and we would be happy together.

"True," I say. "He said only two years though. Two years are almost gone. I never realized how fast it would be, it's been so quick." I see my dad frowning as I spoke of Jacob.

"Also, we're going to church now, we're Christians!"

"What the hell?" I questioned quickly. My parents never in my life have they gone to church, even when they were younger. This could not all be happening tonight, right now in the kitchen, and I wasn't liking this idea. I knew they were going to try and convert me.

"That means we are no more cursing, drinking unless for religious beliefs, and smoking. We decided to quit it all," said my mom. "You should come to church."

"Mom, I'm glad you're going to church but I'm not that girl who goes to church. I'm the girl who believes god exists but none of these damn churches are true! I just have to follow what's going to happen in my life. Don't try and convert me. Because I don't want to be apart of it," I say. "No offense."

My mom and dad looked shocked. "We should have gone when you were younger and wiser, you would do anything and be anything for us," says dad.

"Dad, Christians believe you get Adam's sins. That's a bunch of bullshit! You start a new fresh life with no sins till you make them. That's what I believe!"

"We are not going to have an argument about religious beliefs!" shouted my mom. I just nod in agreement. I didn't want to argue about something so stupid tonight, especially on the night I just came back.

"So…have any names for the baby?" I question mom.

"Well…for a boy, Edward Anthony Cullen. After your father for that. But for a girl, I haven't came up with that."

"I like the name Richelle," I say. Richelle Olivia Cullen." My mom smiled. "Trust me, I'm never going to name my kid that."

"It is pretty," mom replies. "I like it." My mom loved that name and decided that was the one for the girl. Honestly, it was a pretty name. "So if you had kids with Jacob, what would you name them?" mom asked.

I never been asked this sort of question, it took my by surprise. "I don't know, but I'll know at the right time."

I and mom kept talking about our lives and she asked a lot about Jacob. I don't know what she wanted to hear about him. I wasn't sure. "Why do you keep asking about Jacob?"

"Renesmee, we want the truth." I stare at dad like what the hell is going on? "Did you have sex with Jacob?"

"No!" I shouted. "Stop asking me! I didn't have sex with him! We almost did twice! Happy? Once was during the school year and the other was when we grauduated! Since he gone to the army, we haven't talked about it once! Maybe just for the fun of it I'll do it now!"

"We don't need to argue!" shouted mom.

But dad continued, "What's so special about this Jacob? He is nothing! He's going to be a real big bitch to you!"

"Not he isn't!" I scream back. "He's nice and everything, unlike you!"

"RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN, SAY YOU'RE SORRY RIGHT NOW!" dad screamed.

"Why would I say something I don't mean?" I ask. "Why should I?"

"RENESMEE!" he snapped.

"Let's just drop it!"

"No! We're finishing this tonight!"

"Fine! I love Jacob and you're not going to change anything!"

My dad looked as if he could slap me but he couldn't. "Leave!"

"EDWARD!" snapped mom.

"Leave my house and don't come back!"

"Is this how you solve problems?" I ask. "If it is, we're never going to solve problems!"

"Get out of my house!"

I got up and grabbed my suitcase which was full of stuff. "Fine!"

"Good! Now leave!"

"Edward, don't do this," said my mom who had tears running down her face.

"Leave!" shouted Edward. I couldn't even call him as my dad anymore.

"I hope you know I hate you!" I said. "Have a wonderful life!"

"Leave!" That was all he kept on saying.

Before I left I yelled, "Fuck you!" Edward was frowning but he kicked me out so quickly. I didn't care. He didn't have to get so mad about me and Jacob together.


	19. Chapter 18 Family

**Family **

**Chapter 18 **

_"Other things may change us, but we start and end with family." **~Anthony Brandt~**_

I walked all the way to Jacob's house. It took a whole entire hour. But I needed to clear my head and thinking about what I said to my dad. It was stupid from what I said. I should think before I speak. Now here I was knocking on Billy's door to his house.

I saw Billy come up with his wheelchair. He saw me and let me in. He was probably wondering why I was here, since Jacob wasn't here yet. "Do you mind if I stay here for a couple of days?" I ask.

"That's okay with me." I nod towards Billy. "Why are you here?"

"Argument with my dad and he kicked me out of the house and oh my god. So much happened today for me. I feel like shit." That's when the tears started to pour down as I laid their on his couch crying.

"You're dad wants what are best for you. He's overprotective and he loves you. He probably didn't have much experience of raising daughter like you."

"Yeah, he just messed up on me! They're going to church now! They're having a kid! They're hoping not to mess up on this child!" I shouted as I cried. Billy brushed back my hair. "How are you so good at this?"

"I raised two hormone crazy girls in this house at the same time. I think I can handle one but now they're grown up. Some people can't handle one teenager."

"My dad doesn't. My mom does a lot for me. I was brought by accident." I cried. We stayed silent for awhile. All you could hear was me crying my eyes out. I cried like rain was falling from the sky.

But I knew I cried for hours and Billy was probably getting annoyed of me but he was helping me and I was glad for that. That he was willing to hear about my problems and about what I had to say to him. I knew he would be a great father-in-law when Jacob got a crappy one.

I thought about the story of what my mom told me when I was thirteen years old, learning how I came on this Earth. It went something like this…I was conceived in Brazil. Brazil was where I was made. But here in Washington was where I was born.

Doctors told my mom she was very unlikely to get pregnant. They said if she got pregnant, it would have to be brought by accident. They told her it was like impossible because of the way she was shaped inside. It was impossible for sperm to get through. So they didn't even think of using protection.

They had a lovely and sexy evening. And two months later, she was showing signs of being pregnant. So she went to the doctor and they told her she was pregnant. They said it was a miracle. She actually tried many times for another kid and eighteen years later she's pregnant. I knew this baby was brought by accident too.

It seemed that my mom was happy to have me and the baby she was having. I was happy for her too but now I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure if I wanted them to have this kid.

I hear a knock on the door. I still felt tears coming down. "That must be Jacob." I nod as I wipe away the tears away quickly but they seem like they don't want to stop.

Billy goes and opens the door. "Hey," said Billy. "How's life treating you?"

"Good, I'm still alive and healthy," replied Jake as I just lay their on the couch crying. I didn't want Jacob to see my unhappy. "So is Ness here in town?"

"Yeah, she's closer than you think," said Billy.

"Isn't she with her parents?" he asked as he came in the living room.

"Something came up, I'm sure she'll tell you about it."

"Wait, is she in this house?"

"Yes," I reply for myself. I was trying not to crackle my words so it would sound like I was crying, and I didn't want him to worry.

"I'll give you privacy," said Billy as he left to his room probably.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked. I shake my head and cry. He picks up the upper part of my body as he quickly sits down and sets my on his lap. "Are you going to talk about it?"

"Edward had disagreements with me! I don't even want to call him my father anymore! I hate him! I told him that right in his face!" I yelled as I let the tears stream. Jacob didn't say anything. "It's not like he loves me! He doesn't respect my choices!"

"It's okay," says Jacob. "And you don't hate him."

"He kicked me out of the house," I say. "Why the hell would he do it? Like what's his problem? His goddamn problem is us. How we're together! He was acting like a total bitch!" I was crying as I told Jacob this. I just needed to let my anger out. "He called you a bitch." Jacob went wide-eyed.

"What?" he questions. "How am I one?"

"I don't know! Why don't you go to the door and ask him yourself?" I was so frustrated. "While I'm mad, I hate you too right now! I was going to write a letter but I decided it would be better in person!"

"What exactly did I do?"

"What you did Macy! That was really rude and bitchy! I hate you for that! You blackmailed her for no reason!" I shouted. Jacob looks down.

"You know the truth now," he says. "Does that change us?"

"No, Macy says you change a lot and I believe her."

"So anything else?"

"I told my dad this," I say and then, "Fuck you." I start crying. "I was being such a bitch."

I was crying as Jacob let me cry and I don't know how long we sat there but I finally got up as Jacob rose with me and hugged me tightly. "I love you." I nod as he says this.

"I love you too."

The next morning I wake up next to Jacob in his bed. His arms were wrapped around me as I smiled at him. He was still sleeping. I didn't expect him to be awake but I check my phone real quick to see a missed call from my mom. I get up from the bed and call her.

"Hello," said my mom groggily.

"Mom, I love you," I say. "And I miss you. I really want to be with you. Can we do something together today?"

"Ness, I love you too." I was smiling as my mom said this. "I would love to go somewhere with you. Give your dad a couple of days. He's mad. You guys are so much alike."

"No we aren't!" I yelled.

"You sure did get my looks but sure did get your dad's mouth. When he believes in something he'll stand up for her. So will you. You guys don't agree on the same thing which leads to argument. Then you guys are so kind to everyone unless they make you snap." I was laughing. I was nothing like that. I wouldn't believe that. "So where did you go?"

"Um…Jacob's," I say quietly. "Can we not tell dad a thing about this or where I've been. Just say I went to a motel and tell him it's because I knew he doesn't want me sleeping with Jacob. We were sleeping together but not having you know…" This conversation was getting to awkward.

"Don't worry," said mom. "Just text me details about what we're doing." I hang up with my mom and see that Jacob is watching me.

Jacob is smiling at me as I look into his deep brown eyes. I loved those brown eyes and I loved everything about them. They made me smile. If we were to have kids, I want them to have Jacob's brown eyes. I was smiling back. "What are you thinking about?" he ask.

"Honestly I'm thinking about the future and us," I say. "I imagine what are kids would look like, don't you think that?" I ask. He shrugs. "Well if it's a girl I imagine her with my hair. I just imagine her with my nice hair. I imagine her with you eyes and skin. They wouldn't be so pale like my family. They always be tan like you." Jacob chuckles. "But if it's boy, I imagine him to look just like you."

"I don't think that. How you described the girl was perfect. If it was a boy, he would look everything like me but he would have your personality. Maybe even your eyes. Maybe the girl would be pale like you. Maybe…or they could have blue eyes from an inherited trait from my mom since she had the bluest eyes ever." I smiled. I was surprise he even mentioned his mom. I wanted to know about her. But they didn't want to talk about her since Billy told me about her.

"Jacob," I say softly. "Tell me about your mom." I was being a little pushy. That's when Jacob looked away from me. "Please. You're dad told me a little; I asked how we were alike. He said I smiled when everything was wrong just to lift everyone's mood up. I reacted the same way your mom wou-," but I was stopped.

"Shut up!" yelled Jacob. "I don't want to talk about her!" I just nodded, those words hit me and it was like a bee sting.

"I'll be back," I say. I felt like crying. I was still under control of hormones. "I'm gonna go for walk."

"No don't go," he says and then, "please." He went to grab me but I hit his arm away. He just sighed and let me leave. I looked around the house.

I look a cupboard remembering…

_It was my second time over at Jacob's house. "Oh my god, I'm so hungry!" I moaned as Jacob laughs at me. "I swear I'm going to die of starvation!" _

_"Then go looking for food!" I groan and get up for some food. I open this one cupboard full of journals. I was about to grab one. "Don't touch those!" Jacob snapped. He slammed them shut. _

_"I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't know!" Jacob was mad he yelled at me and that's when I left right away. _

I looked around. Should I really see what they are? It wouldn't hurt to see if it is his mom. I wanted to know about his mom. If he wasn't going to give me answers. I was going to have to find them. But should I look through their stuff.

It just didn't seem right. What should I do?


	20. Chapter 19 The Journal

**The Journal **

**Chapter 19**

_I'm finding you in everything that shines_

_I'm finding you in between the lines_

_I'm finding you_

_You open up my eyes every time_

_'Cause your love is alive_

**_Finding You by Bebo Norman _**

I open the cupboard and see journals everywhere. They're in neat stacks just like they always have been. I notice that some are scrapbooks but some are actually written in. I was scared to just look inside or at least open them. What if Jacob caught me? He would be mad at me. I wouldn't have anywhere to stay.

Trembling, I pick up a scrapbook and open up to see a picture of a young woman. I noticed all of these were in order from teenage life to adult life. I looked through the picture. The woman had the bluest eyes. This must by Jacob's mom. The first pictures I've have ever seen of her.

Jacob's mom had tan skin. She had the bluest eyes I've ever seen in my entire life. I wasn't going to lie about that. She wore a sleeveless pink shirt with short shorts. Underneath it said sixteen. I flipped through the pages. There were tons of her family, her friends, and her. It was amazing to see this stuff of his mom. All it said her age and her friend's name, also family member's names.

Soon I went though the whole thing. It said read Journal one at the end of it. I put the scrapbook back and grabbed journal one. Instead of staying there to read it I ran in the bathroom and closed the door. At the bottom it said in cursive. _Sarah Lynn Willard. _At the top in the same handwriting was _Journal One. _

I opened it up and saw a picture of her sixteen year old self. I read:

_Sarah Lynn Willard writing for the first time since school in the summer, and oh my god this is stupid! Mom is making all of us write everyday in the damn journal. She says we have freedom of speech and she won't read them! So I'll curse whenever the hell I'll like too in here! I mean who gives shit if I do. Probably my goody-good sister, she got me in trouble last night! I'm going to have to get some revenge with her! She's such a bitch! I hate her so much. I don't even want to look at her. Because last night was suppose to be perfect. But she ran her pretty little mouth. Soon her pretty little face will be gone! That's what she gets! She deserves it! _

I close the book. I couldn't read anymore. "Ness," called Jacob. Shit, where was I going to put the book. I put it underneath my shirt and came out. "Are you okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine," I say way too quickly. I was nervous about Jacob finding out. "I'm going to go and get changed. Uh see you in the kitchen while you make me breakfast!" I lit a smile as he just nodded.

I wonder what Sarah did to her sister? What happened in her life? Did any of his family read these? I wondered…


	21. Chapter 20 Resolution

**Resolution**

**Chapter 20 **

_"Hurricanes come and go."_

**_Said by Renesmee Cullen _**

It's been five days since the fight with my dad. I tried calling him, visiting him, writing, or just try to talk. It was like he was banishing me from his entire life. I knew he wouldn't be able to do that. I was his first little girl and he loves me. He did everything he could for me. I just told him I hated him.

In these few days, I realize mom was right. I was like him, but I sure did have her looks but my father's eyes. I was nothing like my mother except that I could be clumsy or easily embarrassed at times.

But not only that, I'm lying to everyone I love. I took Jacob's mom's journals. Jacob did not want me in that cupboard but I was. I looked at those two things. I write the first paragraph of her journal. Her name is Sarah Lynn Willard. She has a sister, and they do not like each other and I don't know what happened. But I do know that I shouldn't be reading it.

The scary thing is that I still have it. And I'm nervous about if Jacob finds out. He'll be furious but I had no time to put it back. Jacob is with me all the time. They only way I can put it back is if I yell at Jacob to let me go. Then he'll talk to me later when I'm calm. But I can't do that again, I can't let this be a lie.

Maybe I should just confront Jacob, maybe he'll understand, and everything will be okay. He might tell me about his mother. That would be amazing. But it could go the wrong way which leads to breaking-up probably, and I don't want that to happen. I would feel terrible too. It was already killing me.

So that evening us were all sitting at the table eating pizza for dinner? I was surprise we were even sitting at the table. "So, what was the argument about this morning?" asked Billy.

"Nothing that matters," replied Jacob. "Just something we just don't see sides on."

"I still have a right to know," I mumble and Jacob just frowned at me for saying that. "It's true though. And you can't deny that."

"I see that argument continuers," said Billy loudly.

"Sorry," I say.

"You guys argue about it every single morning!"

"It's nothing!" shouted Jake. "It won't happen again if Renesmee stops asking."

"Okay fine," I say. "I'll stop asking or commanding. Since you don't want to talk about it, and I won't ask ever again. Promise." Now I was being a brat. I was just trying to make Jacob feel guilty but he didn't say anything. He just nods and gives a fake smile.

"I think I know what this is about," Billy finally says. "Nessie wants to know about your mom but you don't feel like talking about her at all. I know it hurts son, but we need to move forward and still be willing to talk about her wonderful life!"

Jacob just looks down at his food and continues to eat as we don't say another word. Later that evening I was in Jacob's room gathering up stuff. "What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm packing," I reply.

"You don't have to leave."

"I don't feel welcome anywhere! I know you're frustrated with me! You want me to just get the hell out of your life! Isn't that right?"

"I never said that!"

"But you want too! I know you don't want to deal with me anymore. The love is gone to you! Why don't you just break-up with me already?!"

The tears streamed down my face as Jacob looks down. He sighs. "Is that what you want?"

"No! It's what you want! I can see it! You will never be able to deal with me! I'm just a mess, like a hurricane coming into to ruin your life! Hurricanes come and go. Just like girls!"

"Well that's not how I see it!" I am crying like a storm. I had nothing to say. We both stayed silent.

"Why don't you just save yourself? Just let go of me. It would make your whole life easier without me."

"I don't like easy!" Jacob was saying. "I love adventurous. Which are you? I love you."

Jacob grabbed on my arm and pulled me into a hug. Tears are still falling. We pull apart and look at each other. Jacob leans down to kiss me. It was a short and sweet simple kiss. I loved everything about that kiss. I loved him. "I love you."

"I love you too," mumbles Jake. He is hugging my as I wrap my arms around him. "If you still want to have…," Jake was saying. I was like what? "Sex."

I didn't know what I wanted. But Jake said he would do it with me if I wanted too. "No, I don't think it's the right time. We'll know when it is. I hope." I was blushing as I said this and Jake was smiling. He didn't like getting on that subject so much. "And I'm sorry about asking about you're mom. You'll tell me when it is the right time. I believe you will."

I was smiling at him. I was so glad I was done arguing with him about his mom. We were going to do things at right times, not when we wanted them.

The next day I was going home. I didn't care what my dad. We were going to have to make-up and be a happy family. I didn't want us to be a messed-up family. I wasn't going to allow it since we were going to be together for awhile. We mind as well just like each other or even better, love each other. We couldn't make this miserable. This would mostly hurt my younger sibling if I let this go on.

Jacob was driving me home. "Do you want me to come in?"

"Yes but it'll make things worst. So no you can not come in today," I say as Jacob nods.

"Okay." I nod at Jacob. I was glad he was a very understanding person right now. It made things much better.

"Thanks for the ride. I love you."

"No problem and I definitely love you more." I smile and he kisses me on the cheek quickly as I blush. "Call me later," says Jacob as I nod. I knock at the front door. I didn't feel welcome and I didn't feel right standing on this porch.

The door opens and I see my mom. She's wearing just her purple robe and some slippers. I hug her quickly. Even though we have seen each other in these last couple of days. "I love you," is what she says as we just hug each other. "Come in."

I walk inside with her. "Mom," I say and then, "where's dad?"

"He's at work," she says softly. "He'll be home shortly. So what's been going on?"

"I and Jacob made up," I say. "He still haven't told me anything about his mother." Mom nods as I lit a smile. "And I still don't k-know anything about her," I lied and it felt terrible, especially to my mother. I've never really lied to her. I went out and just told her I drank at parties and smoked.

We talked for about an hour before my dad came in the door to see I and mom sitting on the couch talking. "Hi dad, how are you?" I ask lightly. I knew he was going to say something snide.

"Done with Jacob, had sex, and broke up," he says. "So you came back here?" He was really trying to push my buttons.

"Why aren't you making an effort to try and say something acceptable? Like why don't you ask how I've been dad. Or sometime not so stupid! I'm a virgin and that's it! I'm not a slut! Happy?"

My dad looked down. He didn't say anything. He just ignored me. "Whatever! I want to make things better but you don't want that! Let's just forget about and Jacob and focus on our family! Don't you agree?"

My dad didn't say a word. He just went upstairs. This was going to be harder than I thought. "How about you get settle in your room? I'm ordering pizza and watching soap operas. So enjoy yourself." I nod as I head up with my stuff. I open my suitcase once my door is closed. I pull out the journal.

I open it and start to read the next paragraph.

_I'm writing again. I talked to my friends about the plan I've been planning. She deserves every bit of this. It'll scare the hell out of her and she'll never say a damn word to mom! This was going to be perfect…I know I haven't wrote in two days! But we got her! Oh my god it was so fun but I'm in so much trouble. Look at disc 1! Or please destroy it. It was fun playing on her till it got too extreme. _

I go in the back of the journal and there were five discs to watch. And I grab disc one. I was scared of what happened. I didn't know if I wanted to know what happened. This was just too scary. I haven't even finished page one and it was already too scary. But I grab my lap top and pop the CD in.

An image appears, it's deep in the forest, and it's dark. And you see three girls. Once is of Sarah and her other two friends. Her friend is probably taking a video. I play the video.

_"She believed the damn note!" screamed the Blonde girl. "She's so stupid Sarah!" Sarah's laugh shrills through my ear buds. _

_"Oh my god, are you serious?" ask a black haired girl. All the girls are laughing. _

_"Sh…" said the girl who was videoing. "Bitch alert." Sarah sees her sister walk in the forest. _

_"Oh my god!" screamed Sara and she looked very scared. "I'm so glad you're here Hope! Oh my god it's so terrible! This place is!" _

_"What!" screamed her sister who's name was Hope. "What happened?" She was freaking out. _

_"Someone tried to kill me!" shouted Sarah. _

I paused the video. This was there prank. What went wrong? Was there actually a killer? Does Hope die? What's happening? I had Goosebumps on my arms. I couldn't help but push play to finish the video.

_"Sarah, I need you tell me the truth, are you lying?" questions Hope. _

_"I swear to god! It was a girl in my grade! She had a knife and she stabbed me! It hurts like hell Hope! Hell I tell you!" Sarah was crying and she turned around it looked like actual blood was gushing out. Hope was breathing hard. _

_"Did you try calling anyone?" _

_"There's no signal!" screamed Sarah. "I don't know where she is!"_

_"Oh my god," breathed out Hope. _

_Hope was crying like crazy. "Go up on the hill and see if you can find signal! I'll try on this hill over here!" Hope went running up the hill. It showed Hope on the hill. The girl on the camera got closer. So did all the other girls. _

_"Damn it!" cursed Hope. "No signal!" She tried again. _

_"BOO!" screamed someone. Hope screamed as the girl all laughed. But in that moment I didn't see Hope on the hill which was a cliff. _

_You could hear shrills of screaming. Sarah shrugged. "Hope! It was just a joke! Where are you?" You could hear screaming and crying loudly. "Don't be playing with me!" _

_"Sarah!" croaks Hope. "It hurts like hell!" Sarah ran up the hill. She sees her sister laying like she is dead on the ground from this very high cliff. _

_"Shit!" shouted Sarah. "Ash and Maddy! Go find signal and call nine-one-one! Lily, come and help me get her!" Sarah was for real crying. Everybody was running Lily was the one holding the camera. _

_"God," mumbled Lily. "Shit! Shit! Shit! This isn't good Sarah!" Finally they make it down to where Hope. _

_Sarah is looking at her wounds. "I think she has a broken leg! Oh my god! Her face, all on left side, her face is bleeding! Shit! Lily is you wearing something under you t-shirt." Without hesitation she drops the camera takes off the t-shirt Sarah wipes away the blood a little. _

_"Don't black-out Hope!" shouted them. "You're going to live! Don't die on me! Damn it!" Lily grabs the camera once again and starts carrying Hope up the steep hill. _

_Sarah is the only one crying. Once they get up the hill, they start carrying her out of the woods and they hear the sirens. _

_"OVER HERE!" screamed Ash and Maddy. Lily and Sarah hold onto Hope as she started to get heavy and heavier. _

_The car comes up and puts her on a stretcher. "Shit," mumble Lily. "Forgot to turn off camera." _

_"I'm her sister! I'll go with my sis-," and everything went black. _

I was even breathing hard and I felt cold all of suddenly. What happened to her sister next? Did she do serious damage? Oh my god, that was so scary and breathtaking.

"Ness," says my dad as I jump. "Sorry," he says since he scared me. "I'm sorry and I do want to make things right. So let's start over."

"Yea, sure dad," I say quickly. "I love you," I say. In that moment I and my dad hug each other. I was glad we were on good status as friends. But what happened to Hope? I sure hoped she lives.


	22. Chapter 21 Time

**Time **

**Chapter 21**

_And in time all things shall pass away,  
In time, you may come back someday.  
To live once more, or die once more,  
But in time, your time will be no more._

**_In Time by Mark Colie _**

I've been here for two weeks already. I and my dad were good. I and Jacob were still together even after a few arguments. I knew more about Jacob's mom than I have in years since I've been with Jacob. Now I wasn't sure what to do.

I change into a pair of jeans with my blue t-shirt as I pull on my purple converse. I pull my hair into a quick high pony tail. I pulled on my coat. I was about leave outside the door but then I heard my dad. "Where are you going?" I was holding mom's keys.

"Oh I thought mom told you," I say. "I'm picking up my friend Ally. She wants to come here to see what it's like. She wants to meet you guys. She wants to be here for my nineteenth birthday and she's friends with Jacob too." Dad just nodded but he didn't say anything about Jacob.

"Is she staying here?" he asks.

"Yeah, she'll be leaving at the same time like me, and my other friend Kyla is coming in the first week of September. Macy is coming too but she'll be staying with her mom," I reply. "I got to go, I don't want to be late for Ally. So see ya later," I say as dad waves once I am leaving out the door to go and pick up Ally.

For the whole car ride it's silent. I mean what happened to Hope? Why couldn't I just read it to find out? Why was I scared? Why did I even care? Maybe I could ask Jacob about his aunt. But then he would wonder how I knew. Then I would have to tel him. So no…that wouldn't work. What if I spoke to Billy? He wouldn't get mad. Or would he?

Should I tell my friends? Should I tell Ally? Should I tell Kyla? Should I tell Macy? Who am I going to talk about this with? I needed to tell someone. I can't be burning with this guilt. I'll tell Ally, she'll be fine with it.

I need someone to talk about everything that's been going on. I can't just keep quiet about everything. This was just too complicated. Why was I dragging myself into this? Why can't I just wait for Jacob tells me? I guess I'm impatient.

Soon I'm in front of where the airplane usually is. I see Ally walking towards me as I give a wave and a small smile. She does the same back. "Oh my god, it's so freezing here, even in the damn summer!" I laugh. "I think I might go back to New York. It was warmer!"

"It gets worst in the fall and winter. Even colder. But it's usually not like this everyday. It's usually warmer than this," I reply as Ally smiles.

"So what's been going on?" she questions.

"Well…a lot actually," I say. "Can I tell you?" She nods. "My parents are Christians and want to convert me but I don't want to be you know part of that. My mom's pregnant after eighteen years, almost nineteen! She's so insane!" I started the car and started to drive.

"Is that all?" Ally asks.

"I wish I could say yes," I say softly. "I and my dad argued. I stayed with Jacob for a couple of days. We argued about him telling me about his mom." Ally looked at me as if I was kidding. "It's stupid, I promised I wouldn't ask him. But I didn't promise I wouldn't go searching."

"Oh my god, what the hell did you do?" she asks. "What did you find?" Ally was being serious as I just frowned.

"I stole something pretty much! I stole his mom's journal! I looked through the stuff that Jacob never wanted me to see! I probably should just go and confront and say that I did it! But I can't!" I yell as I started to cry.

"Oh my god, you can't be serious?" questions Ally. "But you are. You should just go take it back and confront him about it. Otherwise it won't turn out well." I shake my head. "Why not?"

"I'm scared," I say. "I'm learning about his mom! What she did when she was sixteen years old! She was like a rebel!" I just drive as Ally looks down. "If you were reading this, you would understand why I can't give it back. It's just so compelling like it's asking me to come and read it."

"What if it was brought by fate? Like what made you look cupboard."

"I felt the need too, like it was calling towards me."

"What have you learned about her?" asks Ally.

"Her name, Sarah Lynn Willard, but her name now would be Sarah Lynn Black."

"Think about it, did you mean to search?"

"No," I say.

"What if the ghost Sarah Lynn Black wanted you too?" I stare at Ally like she was insane. "I mean what if she did it so you would learn about her. Like you didn't mean but you felt the need to look over there. What is Sarah Lynn Black wants you too?"

"I don't know, I don't really believe in ghosts, and it just doesn't seem real. But how would we know?" I ask.

"Ouijas boards," simply answers Ally. "We just call upon her and ask questions."

"Where the hell are we going to find one of those?"

"I have one," Ally says. "It's in New York though. I guess we'll have to wait."

"I guess we'll try it." Ally nods in agreement.

I and Ally walked inside my house and she was amazed by everything in out house. It scared me a little to see how amazed she seem to be. "There's so much space," Ally says. "We have a big house like this but…there is so much more people and not so much open space like this!"

I chuckle, and I've never really noticed. But it was so open and big, even just for three people. My dad inherited it from my grandparents, while they moved into a bigger house. But I don't know why they needed one. But I lived her for as long as I could remember. I lived here my whole life. My friends were jealous, but I didn't see why it really mattered.

My dad showed up. "Hello, I am Edward Cullen, Renesmee's father," he says very nicely to my friend.

"I'm Ally, Renesmee's friend," Ally says. "You have such a beautiful house, I really do like it," she comments.

Her and my dad talk for a little. Soon enough, they're done speaking so we go up to my room from where I been. "So…where's his mom's journal?"

I pointed at my bed, the brown journal. "What are you going to do?"

"We're going to do the right thing, or you are." I look down, I knew I should just give it back but I didn't want too. I just couldn't. "Nessie, if Jacob found out a different way, and not by you or in person. Like what if he sees you? I'm sure he would be pissed off. That's why it is better to do this now," Ally says. And I know she is right.

"I know but…we just got over a fight about his mom. If he found out I was searching about his mom more, and looking through his house to find more about her. I think he would freak out. I just don't want to start any more fights."

"If you didn't want that to happen, you shouldn't have taken the journal."

I knew she was right; this was a mistake I would have to face. It would be better to tell him now then him finding out himself. "Fine, I'll give it back to him, later today," I say as Ally smiles at me.

I and Ally lay on my bed talking about everything that's been going on. Ally talks about her family. I talk about school. She talks about school. I talk about Jacob. She talks about her date she just been on. I talk about his mom's journal. I tell her everything about what is in there. Ally is surprised.

"How about we go over to Jacob's now?" she asked as we both get up to go to Jacob's house.

My dad asks, "Where are you both going?"

"Jacob's house, Ally wants to visit him since they're friends," I say. "So see you later." Dad nods, not smiling anymore.

Before I know it I am hugging Jacob. Billy, Jacob, Ally, and I are on his couch in the living room, talking about tons of things. Ally nudges me to talk to Jacob about the journal. "Jacob, can I talk to you alone?" I was shaking, I could feel it. I was scared of what Jacob was going to say.

Jacob follows me out to his room. "What is it?" he asks. He is smiling at me.

I stare at him. "I'm sorry," I blurt out. Jacob looks at me like I am crazy.

"For what?" he questions.

I take the journal out of my bag. "For this, I'm sorry for looking around. I'm sorry from taking from you guys. I'm sorry."

"You took from my dad," he says. "This is my dad's and I have no idea what this is. So I don't know what to say. So what is it?"

Jacob had no idea what this was. Was he never suppose to ever touch this stuff or let anyone else? If his dad found out, would he be angry? Why did Billy hide this from Jacob? Didn't Jacob have a right to know?

Most of all, should I tell him?


	23. Chapter 22 Telling

**Telling**

**Chapter 22 **

_"You've heard a lot of people, people you worked elbow-to-elbow with, who said you lied. Were they telling the truth?" **~Daniel Pertoceli~** _

I stand there, looking at Jacob. I didn't know what to say to him. Would he be mad if I tell him what it's about? I don't know what to do. Jacob takes the journal. "I don't think it's my place to tell you," I say. "I think it's you're dad's choice. But I still shouldn't have snooped around."

Jacob is looking at me. "It's okay," he mumbles as he just opens the journal and sees the writing and sees the picture of his mom with her name underneath. "You went searching to find out about her."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I don't know what the hell I was thinking. But it would have been nice if you actually told me her name." I knew I shouldn't have said that, but Jacob doesn't say anything, he just keeps quiet.

"She died when I was four, in a car accident by a drunk driver," Jacob says. Was he actually saying this? "I was in the car with her. But I lived. She went into a coma and the doctors said that she wouldn't wake up. So my dad said they could pull the plug. I had to get sugary from the damages on me. But I survived. It was late; my mom took me to visit her mom that day. After she died, we lost touch from her family."

"I'm sorry," I say. Jacob was crying. "It must have been hard to lose your mom like that. Especially so young." I hug Jacob and he hugs me back.

"I wish I could tell you all the memories we has together," he says. "But I don't really remember them. I just remember she was nice, beautiful, smart, and any good word you can think about her. I do remember going to the beach with her and building sand castles." I smile as Jacob smiles. "I remember that I would always go with her to visit her mom. Otherwise I don't really remember anything."

"I'm sorry," I say again. I don't know what to say to him. I've never really lost someone so close to me. I never really lost someone I loved very much. I lost people whom I know but did not really know. So how can I relate to him about that? There was no way I could. "It'll be okay."

I and Jacob sit there for a little. "We better go back out there," Jacob says. "And I'm sorry for not telling you sooner." I just nod and he kisses me lightly. He takes my hand, sets the journal on his bed, and we leave to the living room.

"I'm going to go look at the stars," says Billy. "You guys better have a good evening." Bill rolls out to the starry night.

"Um…I'm going to talk to him," I say lightly. "You guys should catch up on some things."

I go outside as I sit on the chair next to Billy as he looks up at the bright white stars. They were really amazing. When I was younger, I would always wish on a star every night, hoping for something that wasn't so perfect. Like a broken bone or something that I imagined when I was really little.

"You know you remind me much of her," Billy says. "And I knew you took the journal. I saw you but let you take it." I looked surprise at him. "Did you give it back to Jacob?" I nod. "Well I'm glad it is back home. So what did you learn about Sarah?"

"She had a sister named Hope," I say. "She was like a rebel, loved playing tricks. She did one to her sister which ended up as a horrible accident. What happened to Hope? I didn't read much after that."

Billy hesitates and says, "She lives. But Hope ended up with a broken leg and arm." I nod and listen to him as he speaks. "But Hope has gotten paralysis when she was seventeen. She went out with her boyfriend to some party. He was drunk. He drove her home but he wasn't paying attention and a car hit them. It hit her legs and paralysis her. Her boyfriend said that she was stupid now and said she was a bitch since she couldn't walk and she kept blaming it on him."

I just nod. "So Hope doesn't get her happy ending, nor does she?"

"Hope married a brilliant young man," Billy says. "And Sarah helped that man find that Hope is wonderful girl. Sarah told Hope many times to break-up with the guy who just left her." I listened to him speak of Hope and her life. She adopted three girls from China and two boys from United States. She seemed to have a different kind of happy ending.

"So…did Sarah have anymore siblings?" I asked.

"A brother and he are off in his own world. He left the house once he graduated and they never heard from him again."

"Um…how am I like Sarah?" I ask. I was tired of just being like her. I wanted to know how and why I was like her.

"Well you're confident like her," Billy says. "When you want to find something out you don't give up. You're smart, you both tried you're best to focus on school and friends. Well…you guys weren't afraid to try new things. You both were terrible in sports. The only big difference is that you were the sweet and kind in high school; you didn't play pranks onto people. You stayed a virgin in high school unlike Sarah. Also you guys were kind to many people. But you guys are much alike; there is no words to describe the both of you. Jacob didn't really know his mom but I think you got him to be alive again. You made him remember what real happiness like Sarah would have done."

I was listening to every word. He told stories of how Sarah and he met. What they're first kiss was like. Their marriage day and everything was perfect. And how they're marriage life went. It was so sweet to know all this. How he purposed. It was all so sweet. I loved how to told everything he knew about her.

"If you want to hear more, this is Hope's number," he says, handing it to me. "This is her mother's number. Her mother told us to not stay in contact with them. She wanted nothing to do with us. So we swayed away from her family." I nod and thank him. I go inside and sit next to Jacob, listening to what Ally and Jake's conversations were.


	24. Chapter 23 Birthday

**Birthday **

**Chapter 23 **

_Happy Birthday to you _

_Happy Birthday you you _

_Happy Birthday dear Renesmee _

_Happy Birthday to you_

**_Traditional Happy Birthday Song _**

This week was my birthday; I was going to be turning nineteen this year. I was getting really old, and this wasn't going so well. Kyla was here this week. I was excited. My parents got to meet my two best friends which were great. My dad seems to like both of them. Macy came too.

"Oh my god," says Macy. "Professional soccer is complicated and so hard!" I laughed and hugged Macy. I loved her so much. She was amazingly nice which is what I loved about her. She was so funny. "I mean this school stuff is shit! I have to go and do that but one day they'll realize they won't me on their education but want me only on their damn team!"

My dad gives Macy a look. "Oh don' give me that look! I can cuss all the hell I want! Even in your fucking house!"

"Unless I say shut the fuck up Macy," snaps my father back. Macy just smirks. "I hope you're not staying her."

"Nope, with my mom, and aren't you a Christian? This means no cussing Mr. Cullen, isn't I right?"

"I have a freedom of speech when I need to use it. The lord will forgive me," he says as Macy rolls her eyes.

So Ally, Macy, Kyla, and I go up to my room, we all sit on the bed talking. "You should see those sexy boys at the campus, I really want one to ask me on a date," Macy says.

"Well…Marcus Newton wants to go on a date with me and I keep on saying hell no," Kyla says. "He is such a creep; I wish he would leave me alone. He sometimes comes up behind me and squeezes my ass."

"Creepy," I agree with Kyla.

"Well I went on date with this really hot boy named Kyle. He's nice," says Ally.

"Yea and smart!" Kyla shouts. "I wouldn't mind having kids with him." We all laugh. "They would be smart!"

I let them talk about boys, while I don't mention one thing about me and Jacob. There wasn't much to say. We only got in a few arguments and we still loved each other. So there was nothing to say. But Macy always has something to say about us.

"So you and Jacob? I bet for you're birthday present he'll have sex with you!" shouts Macy.

I glare at her. For one reason, my dad is home, second reason is because I'm not ready anymore. Well I guess I was never ready but still, she didn't have to say that. I just shake my head. "No, we're not planning on doing anything. We're just going to enjoy our time together," I reply softly. "Stop saying that so loud, my dad is here."

"You're scared of Edward." Macy looked as if she could slap me.

"My dad doesn't like me and Jacob together," I say. "He hates everything about it. We act like I'm not dating anyone. We act like I'm not even dating Jacob. Only mom asks about these things," I say. Macy rolls her eyes.

"I could really use a cigarette," Macy grumbles. "But coach says I should stop smoking during soccer season at least. I already gave up drinking, what else do they want me to give up?" Sometimes Macy could get really annoying and push my buttons.

"So what about you and Embry?" ask Ally. Macy smiles and talk about Embry.

"I thought those stupid sexy boys are stupid and bitches," I say. Macy laughs and blushes a little.

"'But Embry," she replies back.

Us girls just talk and talk, catching up on some things. We really did enjoy being together. Isn't that what friends were for?

The week went by, for I almost forgot I was leaving this week along with my friends and family, I was really going to miss them. I was really enjoying my time with them. Before I knew it I was actually waking up to something I did not want to hear, and I did not like to wake up to this song.

"Happy Birthday to our sweet, loving, smart, and amazing Renesmee!" shouted Macy as I groaned. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen is nineteen years old! That means no twenty year olds needs to be dating this girl!" I laughed. "Also means no going out to marry without you're best friend there!"

"Gosh Macy!" yelled my dad. "You're waking up the whole house!" My dad says as he sees Macy.

"And no having sex or kids till you're married!" she yelled. "Don't do drugs! Don't be cheating on you're husband or boyfriend!"

"Great advice Macy!" I shout. "Now shut the hell up!"

"But Renesmee, we aren't halfway through the list!" I groan.

"Plus, no reason to celebrate my birthday, just saying how old I'm getting and how old I am!" I shout at her as she frowns. "Now why am I up at eight in the morning?"

"Good point sweetheart," says my dad. "Happy Birthday, would you like some breakfast?" I nod and say thanks to him before he leaves.

"Well we're going to go shopping for a sexy dress, hang out here with you're parents, hang out with Jacob, and have a little party, we will have cake, ice cream, and many yummy things!" I groan. "You can thank me later!"

After I ate breakfast, we went to the mall. I was so bored. I didn't need a new outfit just for my birthday. Kyla, Ally, and Macy seemed to enjoy their time. Then my phone rings. It's Jacob. "Hello," I say.

"Hey," he says. "How's you're day?"

"Dreadful!" I shout. "Macy is forcing me into shopping!"

Jacob chuckles, "Well Happy Birthday." I smile. I loved the way he said. It was just s sexy and amazing. The way he says everything is sexy.

"Thanks," I say lightly. "So…what are you doing?"

"Nothing really but do you want to go out for lunch, for you're birthday?" I accept of course and I am smiling like crazy. Jacob wanted to take me out for dinner. Which seemed reall exciting.

I swear I tried on millions of dresses that day. Macy just said they didn't look right. But I thought they were all perfect. Ally and Kyla agreed with her which is what annoyed me. But they ignored my annoying voice towards them and acted as if I was a doll. I hated every minute of this.

"Why not these dress?" I asked. It was a strapless midnight blue dress what would probably go right above my knees. It was really pretty.

"No," said Macy.

"I'm trying it on anyways!" I snap back. Macy rolls her eyes at me. I try it on, and I think it was perfect. Like this time I actually meant it.

"Oh my god, that is so damn perfect and sexy on you," says Macy swiftly.

"I thought it wasn't the right one," I say jokingly as she laughs. Then I remember when it was Macy, Lily, and I.

_We were in mall, in the store Aeropostale, spying on a guy who worked there. He was so hot, I would admit that. Usually I never said anything about it. Lily was the first who saw him so she called dibs. Macy and Lily had an argument about who gets him. Macy heard he was over twenty and said hell no. _

_Lily always dated older guys then herself. She usually was grounded for sneaking out to see boys because her mom always caught her. At fourteen, Lily was not a virgin anymore. She told us all about her first time. She said it felt amazing. _

_Macy already made a commitment to not have sex till she was married. I just wanted to find the right person to have sex with. I just wasn't ready. I haven't even had my first kiss. Lily had her first kiss when she was eight. She was always good with the guys like Macy. But Macy never noticed she had that talent. I wish I could be good at that. _

_"God," moaned Lily. "He's so goddamn hot." Lily was staring at him as he was talking to a young lady. _

_"What about the guy you're dating right now?" asked Macy? _

_"Forget him," says Lily. "I fell in love with someone new." I don't say a word as Macy rolls her eyes. "I mean who cares about him? He can go fuck some other girl and I wouldn't give shit."_

_Macy rolls her eyes over and over at Lily. Lily was amazing. She knew everything about guys, she knew what they liked in sex. What it was like to kiss a boy. "Lily," I say. "I don't think you should talk to him." Honestly, I had a bad vibe about him. Lily gives me a look. _

_"What the hell are you thinking?" Lily asks. "He's sexy! What else does there need to be?" _

_"Well you can't like a guy for his looks!" I shout. "You got to have someone who honestly loves you wants you who you are! Not some guy you hook up and have sex with a week later!" _

_Lily says, "You're a bitch!" The guy was looking over here now. "You think you have the right to tell me who I can date and who I can't! You think you have the right to say I'm a slut!" _

_I didn't say a word. "Maybe you are a slut," I say softly. "You're with a different guy every month or two." _

_"You know looks do matter!" she yelled. "Maybe guys would actually want to date you if you were pretty!" The words stung me like a bee. _

_"Lily!" shouts Macy. "That's enough!" I just get up and leave the store. Macy looks at me. "Ness, don't leave!" _

_"Macy, just tell Lily she is a slutty bitch!" I yell. Tears were streaming down my face. _

_Macy says, "She didn't mean it." _

_"Sure she didn't!" _

_"Ness, you're beautiful and no one can tell you that you're not! Lily is just pissed off, she meant be on her period, so be easy on her." _

_I don't look at Macy. "I just want to go home." The tears still came running down. Macy just nods. She takes me home but later that night I hear a knock on the door to my house. It's Lily with her perfection self._

_"He was married," Lily says. "And I'm sorry for getting really bitchy on you. I'm sorry, really sorry about you know, saying you were an ugly duckling pretty much. You know, I've always been jealous of you're looks." _

_I smiled. "Well I think you're right, I am ugly." Lily rolls her eyes. _

_"You're beautiful, don't let anyone tell you that you aren't. If they do, I want you to say no bitch, you're ugly! Even if they're fantastically perfect!" I chuckle. Lily knew how to make my day but she sure did know how to make me sad or mad. _

"Now can we go? I ask, looking at the time. Jacob was taking me out soon. I wanted to spend time with him, not that I haven't. I've just been waiting to see him all day. After all it was my birthday. Shouldn't we be doing what birthday girl wants? What ever happen to that?

Macy stared at me. "Yes, we can go Princess Renesmee." I groan at her princess comment; I was tired of people saying that to me on my birthday. It's happened to me for last two years. It seemed that was a way of saying that I am getting what I want. And it only happens on my birthday. It gets really annoying sometimes.

At least I was getting my way at once. I was going to have an amazing day. It was going to good. I was going to force myself now to have a wonderful day. Not matter what happens to day, it will be magical.

Once we got back to my house, I was already being used as a doll by all my friends. They were doing my hair, make-up, and getting the complete outfit so I can be ready for my date with Jacob, they acted as if it was my first date ever.

But I just did everything they told me so it could get over quicker. I saw Kyla grab siccors. "Hell no!" I yelled. "You are not cutting my hair!"

"Ness, trust me. I'm like a professional," said Kyla. "You need layers."

I shook my head saying I don't need them now. I rather have a real professional who has gone through college and all. I was not about to let my friend cut my hair. Kyla just shakes her head and puts them down. I sigh of relief. Ally was braiding my bangs back and pinned them back as they straightened it and left the rest down.

"You look beautiful," Macy said.

"Thanks." Macy hugged me. "Remember the time when Lily and I got in the fight."

"The one where you pretty much called her a slut but you were trying to put in a nice way." I nod. "Well hell yea I remember that."

"She had she was jealous of my looks," I say.

"Nessie, I'm jealous of you're looks," was what Macy said. "I mean you're beautiful. You got that full look. You got the right body to pull off things. But you didn't use you're body that way. I was surprise you wore bikinis. That really brought out you're figure. Until you met me, you didn't really show you're figure. The closest I got you to do that at school was tank tops. You refuse to wear shorts and anything. You didn't even let your guard down with Jacob."

I was blushing, I could feel my red cheeks burn me. I hug Macy once again. "But you are so much prettier, I've been jealous of you're looks!" I yell. Macy smiles and we both just smile.

"Well you got a date to go on, so where is he?" asked Kyla. I shrug, not really knowing where he is.

"Because we have some talking to do without Nessie," said Allie.

Macy added, "Big juicy secrets!" I laughed knowing they didn't really. Normally we would tell each other everything and it didn't matter. We all were good friends. I knew we could possibly be friends for life.

There was a knock on the door. "Oh my god it's him!" yelled Kyla. "I know you are planning on something special."

"Are you guys trying to say I'm going to have sex with him then going out to eat?" I asked. "Because we're not having sex, and we are waiting for awhile. I'm not ready!" All of them nodded. "Well we're not doing anything; we're just going out to eat."

I answered the door to see Jacob standing there. "Hey," was the first thing I said.

"Happy Birthday," he said. I groan. "It's you're last year being a teenager!" I just nod and smile as he flashed one back. "Enjoy it!"

"How can I enjoy it without you?" I asked as he chuckles. "I'm always worrying about you and I hope you're always go out. You need to enjoy you're last year as a teenager!"

"I am, by helping this country. What's you're plan?"

"School," I said my simple answer.

"Oh my god!" yelled Macy. "Just leave the house and go already! You can talk in the car."

"Fine," I said.

"Make sure you get to the bed, don't be inpatient!" yelled Ally. I just nod as Jacob looks at me. My friends are just laughing. I shake my head and push Jacob out the door with me.

Jacob gives me a look as I shrug. Honestly, I didn't want to tell him anything about what my friends were thinking. But friends were amazing. Even though they could think so wrong and do so wrong.

I and Jacob were sitting in an Italian restaurant. Our drinks were sitting there as we both sat in silence, just thinking. For me, I was thinking about Jacob and out future. I was thinking of the good and bad direction it could go in. There so many possible things that could happen.

Well, he could die in war, he could break up with me, I could find someone else, he could cheat on me, and there was so many more that I never imagined till now. It was really scary to see all these possibilities of where we could end up. "What are you thinking about?"

"Us," I say softly. "The future." Jacob smiles and takes my hand. "Thinking of all the good and bad possibilities that could happen and it's really interesting."

"Well, I hope we stay together, forever," he says softly. "You know, if I wasn't in the army, you would probably be planning a wedding and we would be getting married soon."

"You're right," I said. "My bridesmaids would be Allie…-," I started but Jacob stopped me.

"Think about that again," said Jacob as I gave him a confuse look. "If I never was in the army, you probably wouldn't have gone to school." I nod, remembering. "You would have never made up with Macy. You would have never got closer to you're family. You would have never been able to do the things you are able to do since I've been in the army."

"That's not true," I mumble. Jacob gives me a look. "Okay, you're right. I probably would have no one as my bridesmaid, and I wouldn't have anyone."

"One reason why I left to the army," said Jacob. This was the first time he actually told me a reason, and I was really surprised. "I was always in the way of you living you're life. That's only a half of the reason why I left. There is more."

"Going to keep my guessing," I say as he smiles and nods.

"You got part of it, what more do you need?"

"I need you."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Later that night I came home with Jacob arriving in. "Good, you're home!" yelled my mom as she hugged me. "You've been gone all day! Happy Birthday!" My mom gave me a hug as she started to cry.

"Mom, you don't need to cry," I say.

"But my little girl is growing up," she says as the tears came down her face. "Her last year as a teenager, and soon she are going to be not one anymore. Soon you'll be eighty before you know it." My mom cried.

"Mom."

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, you are the best thing that happened to me," was what she said. "At first I thought you be my only child, after you turned ten, but now look at me. I'm emotional pregnant woman."

"I love you mom," I said as she gives me smile.

"How sweet," said Macy. "That touched my heart."

As my friends nodded in agreement. "Now let's get you're presents open so we can have cake and ice cream."

I hug my dad. "I want to talk to you later," was what he said. "Jacob, may I have a word with you?"

"Yes sir," I hear Jacob said.

"Use to military talk, aren't you?" Jacob nods as they head out the front door. I hope my dad doesn't do damage. But I just open my presents, smiling and thanking everyone. Soon my dad and Jacob came in. No damage done.

I open my mom and dad's present. "Oh my god," I say. "Are you serious?" I said as I looked at the brand new phone, it wasn't an iPhone but it was Droid. These things are good. Honestly I like Droids better than an iPhone.

"Yes, all yours," was what mom said. "But you pay for the monthly thing." I just nod and hug them all once again.

Everything was perfect. "I'll come to you're house later," I said to Jacob. "I love you."

"I love you too." Jacob leans down and kisses me lightly for only a few seconds. "See you later." I nod and walk in the living room.

"You wanted to talk?" I asked to my dad. He nods as he leads me outside and we sit on the bench outside. I see dad pull out a cigarette as I eyed him and he shrugs. He offers one. "I don't smoke anymore dad."

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I remember the day you were born," he said. "You were beautiful and I loved you. You were a surprise to us, we didn't know if you would be a girl or a boy. But we picked out the names. You're mother almost died that night but they saved her just in time. I got to keep my two beautiful girls."

I nod as I listened to my dad say this. "Has a happy ending but there been still flaws to our life," I say.

"No one's perfect," he says. "But you are the best creation I've made and I love you. I don't care about the choices you've made when you were younger. You did your own free choice. You went out and made some friends. You sure did make wrong choices but you're stopping those choices. I'm very proud of what you become." I smile and nod. I started to cry, and I usually don't get this emotional.

I hug my dad and cry in his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you too." Dad hands me keys. "Here," he says. "Promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Please don't have sex tonight."

"Dad, we're not planning on having it anytime soon," I said. "We're waiting. We decided that a little go." Dad nods in agreement. "What did you tell Jacob?"

"Secret." I roll my eyes and leave to the car.

Five days passed and Jacob was leaving today. My mother had a wonderful birthday and so did I and I never found out what my dad told Jacob. Some things are meant to be secrets. But I was leaving tomorrow too.


	25. Chapter 24 See You Later

**See You Later **

**Chapter 24 **

_"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." **~Dr. Seuss~**_

Macy left yesterday. Jacob, Kyla, Ally, an I leave today. Which was happening like now but I didn't want I to happen. I wish we could all stay her and continue to enjoy each other's time. But this would be the last time in awhile.

I was getting ready to leave. That took an hour but then I heard a knock. "It's me, Jacob." I look and smile. "I'm leaving."

"Please don't, just come with me," I begged as he chuckles. Jacob was in his army uniform. "Please be careful. Don't put yourself in so much danger."

"I'll try not to." The tears just come pouring out. "No matter what happens, I'll love you."

I just breathe heavily as I cry. "I don't want to say good-bye."

Jacob just nods and hugs me. He leans down and kisses me. He keeps kissing me for awhile. He kisses down my necks and kissing me back to my lips. "If you want to, I have about half an hour, you can change you're mind." I just shake my head and bring our lips back together.

We let go. "I don't want to say good-bye."

"Let's not then."

"Then you just leave and say nothing."

"No. See you later."

"See you later?" I question.

"I'll come to you in spring."

"Okay, see you later."

"See you later."

We both smile, knowing we will see each other later.


	26. Chapter 25 Seeing Seth

**Seeing Seth **

**Chapter 25**

_Year 2013_

_Your eyes whispered "have we met?"  
Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me  
The playful conversation starts  
Counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy  
And it was enchanting to meet you  
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you_

**_Enchanted by Taylor Swift _**

Months passed and I stayed in Julliard. Every day I was learning something new. Right now I was trying to learn how to play the violin for the past two months and I've been getting better, my violin teacher says I am doing great. I plan on learning the cello next once my violin teacher thinks I've learned it. I mastered piano. Everything was going great.

These past four months just been well. My teacher says I am really good at violin. It was January now. "So how's you're violin lessons?" asked my teacher.

"Good, my teacher says I'm getting good and she says if I keep going at this progress, in a month I can start cello lessons but she'll keep me in violin so I won't forget," I say.

My teacher says softly, "You have a future of music ahead of you." I smile. "I know you will have a bright future. I can already see you on many stages."

"I can't see myself getting that far," I said. "I want to teach people how to play the instruments I'm playing or something. But one stage is just too far." My teacher chuckles as I say that, she believes I can do it.

"How's you're mother?"

"Great, my new baby sister, Richelle Olivia Cullen, is healthy and perfectly fine. I'm going to meet her in March. I'm so excited to meet my sister." My teachers nods in approval. "It'll probably be just a weekend."

"Well, I'm glad," she says. "I better get home to my family, so good night."

"Good night," I say and leave to the café for some coffee. I read my text from Ally: _Still haven't found the damn Ouija board! I'm going to call my mom about it. _I smile, but I really wanted to try what she suggested. But she was trying ro find it. But she didn't live in the apartment anymore, she moved in with her move with her new boyfriend, actually her fiancé, Brian.

Ally planned on getting married after she finished school, so she would get married this summer in August. And I was already invited. She already asked if I could be a bridesmaid. I was excited for her and she seemed pretty excited. Jacob was planning on coming next year in spring of 2014. I hoped it would happen real soon.

"Coffee please," I say to the girl as she goes to make it and hands me one after about five minutes. "Thank-you." I sit down. I look through the pictures of my baby sister and I rewatch the videos my mom sent.

I just smile, knowing that I was going to love her. But right now I couldn't afford to miss school, I needed to stay up with piano and violin stuff. Soon I have to get ready for cello lessons. My lfie was just too full and couldn't have any interruptions right now.

"Renesmee?" said a familiar boy voice.

"Oh my god," I say. "It's you Seth!" Seth had the dark brown hair, he was tan, and on of Jacob's friend. "It's nice to see you. What are you doing here?"

"Came to live the city life, I just applied a job here and I'm sure as hell enjoying it," was what Seth said. "So how recent have you talked to Jacob?"

"Well we write letters, tons of letters to each other," I say. "But he called me on New Years which was a total surprise. I was really happy. When was the last time he spoke to you?"

"Well we write letters to each other every few months or so," was what Seth said as he sat down across from me. "We still talk, just probably not as much as you talk to him. Which is completely fine. I don't want his army friend to think he is gay."

I laugh. "You're so ridiculous."

"That's what you always say," he says. "But was all know I am hilarious and sexy." I laugh at him as he smiles. "I told you I was hilarious."

"Where's that sexy part of you?" I asked jokingly as he chuckles.

"I don't think I should say, Jacob might get jealous, and you know." I smile. "But it doesn't matter, you don't sure as hell don't need to know. I mean damn it, you're perfect angel."

"Hell yea I am," I say.

"Oh my god, I didn't know angels cursed!"

"Well I sure am one of a kind angel."

"You sure are."

"So you're living here now," I say as he nods. "How long?"

"About two weeks, we should hang out," he says. "Because I have to get home but here's my number so you know." I nod and thank him. Seth was here, that was going to change a lot of things.

My phone started to ring as I was walking over to Seth's apartment where we were going to just catch up and watch a movie. We were just trying to be friends and I was glad I had a friend like him so Ally was busy. Kyla moved back home to be with this boy. Soon I was going to find a apartment for myself.

"Jordan, hey," I say to my cousin. I can tell he is about to cry but is holding back the tears. "What's wrong?" I asked right away.

"Nothing," he says but I can hear the hoarse in his voice. I can tell he is about to cry.

"Why the hell did you call?"

"I don't know."

"Tell me the damn problem."

"We're in Washington but I saw her kissing another guy."

"I'm sorry, have you confronted her?"

"Yea but we got in a huge fight and I broke up with her. I said some things I probably shouldn't have."

"Oh god, what did you say?"

"I called her bitch, slut, and tons of other things. I said she was bitchy slut or slutty bitch. I called her whore probably. I wish didn't say any of it. I was pissed and saying shit I don't mean. But she made her choice."

"I'm sorry, it must be really shitty."

I know Jordan is nodding. "I know."

"Can I call you later? I'm kinda going out to do something. I'll call you when I get home."

I say bye as we both hang-up and go to hang out with Seth and we both actually have a really good time. We talk and I make dinner as he makes a dessert. We watch a movie but most of the time were talking.

Later I talk to Jordan and he was going home to Florida. At that moment he said he wish he never declined that offer of scholarship. He wish he took it and did it. But now everyone was gone, all his hard work he has done was gone. He didn't know if there was a point of life. But I told him to stay confident and look to bright side. I told him if he ever thought of doing suicide, to call me.

Everything was getting crazy.


	27. Chapter 26 Ouija Board

**Ouija Board **

**Chapter 26 **

_"An idea, like a ghost, must be spoken to a little before it will explain itself." **~Charles Dickens~**_

I looked around to see my new home, my new apartment. It was all mines. There was one kitchen and bathroom but with two bedrooms. It also had a living room. It was perfect. All the boxes were in my house. I was smiling, loving every minute of this. I already fell in love with this home and I haven't even spent the night in it.

I unpacked the boxes. I started with kitchen stuff and put everything in there. Ally was supposed to be here any second. The second room was going to be used as my music room. I finished the kitchen. I was looking through a box. None of this stuff was mine.

Then I saw it.

Ouija board.

I dialed Ally. "Ally I think I found it, The Ouija board!" Ally screamed saying she was on her way.

I set it aside, not wanting to open it without Ally because it would just make me feel not so good. It already gave me the vibe that it was really bad. I was scared of what it might say. I just didn't have a good feeling but then again, I wanted to try it.

But I just start putting the boxes of my music in the room which will be the music room and put the boxes that is my bedroom in my bedroom. Then I hear a knock and open it to see Ally as she hugs me. "That's it," she says as we both look at it. I nod slowly.

Ally shuts the door, takes out of her bag is ten candles, and shuts the curtains. I light every candle as we both look at the board. I felt shiver go up my spine. "We're going to call unto Jacob's mother. Then we're going to close our eyes till we feel this tingle in us. Then we ask questions. At least that's how I was taught by my friends."

I nod. "We call unto Sarah Lynn Willard Black! Mother of Jacob, Rebecca, and Rachel Black. Wife of Billy Black." Then we both sit cross legged and breathe in and out with our minutes out. I felt the tiny tingle, I see Ally is staring at the door.

"Is there a spirit here?" I asked loudly and clear. I swear I saw that thing move to yes. At first I thought it was joke and Ally moved it. "Who is this?"

The pointer moved to S. Then A. Then R. Then A. Then H. It spelt out Sarah. "Sarah who?" questioned Ally.

The letter spelt out Lynn Willard Black. I sighed of relief. "Is this Jacob's mother?" I asked and the spinner pointed to yes. "I'm his girlfriend. Do you like me?"

It went in the middle of yes and no. "Are you proud of what you're son has become?" It pointed to yes. "Why are you here?" asked Ally.

It spelt out to see my children grown up since I don't want to miss a minute. I want to protect them at all times. "Can you please stop it?" I asked, scared out my mind as Ally opened up the curtains and I bowled out the candles. "Take this."

"No, keep it; you may want to use it." Ally helps put the bathroom and helps set up my music room but then her fiancé calls saying his parents are coming. So Ally leaves to that. The board sits there in the same place.

Then I do the same thing. "I call unto a person who can see the future!" I called out and waited till I felt the small tingle which happened. "Is any spirit here?" I asked. The pointer went to yes. "Does Jacob live through the war?"

The pointer went to yes. "Oh my thank god!" I yelled. "But do we get married?" The pointer went in between. "Do we break-up?" Nothing happens; I guess they can't say that. I just clear it out and put it in my closet.

I never want to see that things again.


	28. Chapter 27 Richelle

**Richelle **

**Chapter 27**

_"A sister is a forever friend." **~Unknown~**_

Time has been going so fast, I was already in my parent's house once again. Things just have been happening and it's been just really different lately. I was keeping up in college. In two weeks was the exams and I needed to pass those. Then I was going to go for another semester and all. Then I would be off doing a music job. It would be wonderful.

Most of all, the weirdest thing is having a sister nineteen years younger than me. I find it just weird. Also that there's a baby in the house, and my parents are raising another child. I just think that's a little strange and weird. But I guess it was their choice.

I held my little sister. Richelle Olivia Cullen. She was so pretty. I couldn't tell what she would like when she got older. I guess I would have to wait for that. But she had only little tiny hairs coming and her eyes were always switching colors. So I wasn't positive about what she was going to look like. But my guess was brown eyes and light brown hair. A mix of my mother's and father's, right in the middle.

I smiled as I looked at her. She was just so darn cute. I loved her already. I didn't think we would be like most siblings. I think we would get along and everything since of the distance between us. But I didn't really care. If I had kids soon, my sister and my kids would probably be like good friends. Even though she would be the aunt of my kids, kinda weird to think about.

"Isn't she adorable?" asked my mother as I nodded in agreement. "I just love he so much. I love you too Ness." I just give a bright smile.

"So did you make her Christian?" I asked since they got baptized there and they baptized babies at that church. **(No offense to anyone who is a Christian. My church is similar to things like Christians churches. Just thought I make that clear.) **

"No," he said. "We decided to give the choice like you said we should. You got a choice so I think Richelle should have a choice." I give them a bright smile. I was glad they were giving her a choice in what they wanted.

My parents were babying Richelle. "Dad, can I burrow some money so I can by my cello?" I asked. But he ignored me for a few seconds. I guess they showed who picked favorites. "Dad!" I yelled and he turned his attention towards me. "Were you listening to me?"

"Sorry, I wasn't," he said.

"Edward, go change her diaper," my mom said as he got up to go. Things were really different with a baby around. But I guessed they just didn't have time to help me. I guess I would find money to buy my own cello.

I couldn't sleep that night. Everything was going to change now. I didn't know if I would like these changes. So I decided to give Ally a call. "Hey," she said.

"Did I interrupt anything?"

"No, just going over wedding things," is what she says. "What do you need?"

"Is it weird for me to feel jealous of this new child?" I asked. "Especially that I'm nineteen and everything."

"I think it's understandable that you're jealous," said Ally. "Think about it, you were the only child, and given what you wanted. But you didn't take advantage of it. I already know that. And now you need something really important but they already have someone to give something important."

"Thanks for agreeing with me," I said. "But I really need my own cello and I can't afford it Ally, and I really need it. I'm burrowing and I can't keep that forever. I'm in a apartment, have a job which pays for basic needs, and I can't buy anything else. Since she was born, my parents haven't asked if I needed anything. It's just not right to me."

Ally sighs and I really needed money. "Well, I'll help you with saving up. Like how mch is in budget for clothes?"

"About fifty," I say.

"Well with that fifty dollars, put it aside and it'll add up in about a month or so. And I'll give you the money for cello. And you'll pay me back with clothes money. Or you'll pay me back sometime soon. Trust me, everything will be okay. We'll talk more about it when you get home."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, now get some sleep!" she told me motherly.

"Okay," I say as we both say bye and hang up. I fall asleep.

The next morning I awake with my dad cooking downstairs. I head downstairs. "Hey sweetie," he said. I just wave and sit down. "Well coming to church with us?"

"No," I replied. "I already told you I don't believe in that. Can you stop bugging me about going?" He stayed quiet. "Plus, I'm leaving today in the afternoon."

"That soon?"

"I said I wasn't staying that long. I don't have time. I need to get back to cello lessons and violin lessons. I need to keep up in school. I need to study for exams. Plus I have concerts all this week and on big one tomorrow."

"Wait, you're doing cello," he says. I swear I told him and mom that I was taking those lessons and I just nod. I don't say anything about telling him last night. I feel like he left me and mom and started a new family. But I know that didn't happen, so I don't know why I would think that. But it feels like it has happened.

"So…" I say.

"I wish I could make you breakfast but we're leaving in ten minutes, this is for you're mother and I'm sorry," he said as he got the plate full of food. "Will you be here borfore we get home?"

"Didn't mom tell you?" I asked. "You're leaving church early to drop me off at the airport."

"Oh yeah! Now I remember," he said.

Then they left. I was all ready to leave. So now I waited. He was suppose to be here by eleven and it was eleven thirty. I called, but his phone was off. I called up Macy's mom. "Can you drop me off at the airport?" Her mom said sure.

"What happened?"

"My dad was supposed to drop me off, but he never came. He probably doesn't even remember tomorrow and all this week is my biggest nights full of concerts. If I miss this damn flight, I'm never going to forgive him." Macy's mom nods and she is speeding.

I run inside. "Oh I'm sorry," said the flight attendant. "That flight is ready to take off."

"Oh my god," I say. "This is a really shitty day for me. Can you stop that plane?" She shakes her head. "Thanks anyways." They give me a new ticket for tomorrow. So I go back outside to Macy's mom's car. She already knew what happened.

"Always look to the bright side," was what Macy's mom said as I looked at the car in the driveway."

"Yea, I'll sure as hell try," is all I say. "Thanks for the ride anyways." I go back inside to see my dad come to the door.

"I'm so sorry Ness," is what he says.

"Whatever," I say giving him attitude. He says thanks. "You think I'm not mad at you."

"Yea, I do think you're not mad at me."

"Well I'm not, I'm pissed at you," is what I say. "I reminded you this morning, told you last night, and told you! I tried calling you!"

"Don't yell!" he yells at me.

"It seems like the only way to get goddamn attention!" I yelled. "Maybe I should go out, skip college, and be a stripper! Find some random guy to have sex with every night! Because honestly, it seems that you don't give shit about what I do!"

"I do care," he said.

"Then why weren't you here, ready to take me to the airport?" I asked, as the tears stream down my face. "Now all because of you, I have to miss the biggest night of my life, the biggest concert of my life. I have to call my teacher and tell her I can't do that concert. I can't do the solo I've been practicing for months. I'm sorry my father is a jackass."

My dad doesn't say anything, and I push by him as he just stands there with a blank expression, tears were streaming down my face. "Ness, what happened?" mom asked. I just walk by her and go up to my room, the room I grew up in.

I hear a small knock to see my mother. "I know life has been hard," is all what she says. "But you need to accept your new sister in this life."

"I do accept her!" I yelled. "I love her, it's not her problem! If dad just listens to me, he barley listens to a word I say. I asked him like three times if he could lend me money to buy a cello but no it was all about Richelle and not answering my question. Then I ask if he can take me to the airport, but now he forgets about me for church. I'm just not important. Now I have my friend buying cello and I have to pay her back. And I had Macy's mom to try and take me to the airport! Now I have to miss the biggest concert of my life all because dad doesn't listen or he forgets about me. Now I have to call my teacher and say I can't attend. Do you know how hard that is? I've been practicing this for months and now I have to miss it. It's frustrating!"

I pull out my phone and call my teacher up. She answers on the first ring. "Hey Ness," she says as I just breathe in and out.

"I can't make it the concert tomorrow," I say.

"What why?"

"I missed my flight because my dad forgot about me and I didn't make it. But I have a airplane ticket saying I'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon. But I'll be there when the concert is over. So I can't make it. I'm really sorry. I really wanted to do this but now I can't."

"That's okay; we'll replace Natalie for you're piano solo. Is that fine?" I say yes as we talk for a few minutes. I hang up.

"Can you take me to the airport tomorrow?" I asked as mom nods and hug me as I cry in her shoulder.

Later I play around with Richelle and put her to sleep. Mom takes me to the airport. I make it there after the biggest concert of my life.


	29. Chapter 28 Seth

**Seth**

**Chapter 28 **

Enchanted by **Taylor Swift** (again)

I was at the café with Seth Clearwater. I just got off my flight and my concert was ending. I just sit there with Seth across from me. As I told him what happened, but it didn't seem right that I missed this. It didn't seem fair. It wasn't even my fault. "That sucks."

I just nod in agreement and sip my hot chocolate. "It's so stupid," I say. "I didn't even want to miss this, there were going to be people to watch me so I can get in other things you know. But now they got to hear Natalie. I sure hope she did suck."

Seth just smiles and chuckles, for some reason I was glad I had a friends here who could drop everything to come talk to me. Ally was busy now and Kyla was too busy too. I was glad that right now I could have a friend like Seth. "If Natalie did do well, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to congratulate her and act like every damn thing is fine even though it isn't. Because that was suppose to be mine. Not hers! Like if she does that, I would hate her and she would be such a bitch."

Seth just nods as I just blow off and tell hime everything. He was probably getting really annoyed about me talking about my problems but he just listened to me. "Hey, can I ask you something?" he asked. I nod. "Well…there's this girl and you know I like her."

I nod, listening to him. "Ask her out then. You're a fun guy! Who wouldn't want to date you?" I asked as he smiles and laughs. "Like you said, you're funny and sexy." We both laugh.

"Well, this is kind of different, she's different." I nod and listen. "She is seeing someone else right now but what do you think?"

"Does she have a wedding ring?"

"No."

"Then go ask her out, it's not like they're married! Or just start being friends with the damn girl! Who is she?" I asked.

"Just some girl." I just nod, knowing he wasn't going to tell me now but he was going to tell me later. He was going to tell me soon and I knew it. This girl would love him. I mean who doesn't? He's just a loveable guy. For me, I love him like he's my brother.

I was over at Seth's house two weeks later. We were watching a movie."I bet you ten dollars they're going to get together at the end."

"No, definitely not. She's going to be with the one guy."

"The one she is always having sex with," he said. "I don't think so. That's just so damn stupid to have sex with someone you're not married too." I thought about that, but then I give him a look. "Sorry, did you already you know do it with Jacob?"

"Honestly, it's not for you to know," I say. "But since you asked, we haven't done it. I wasn't ready at one time and he wasn't. Who knows when we'll be both ready."

Seth doesn't say anything. "Oh my god, she ended up with that bitch!" yelled Seth. "This is bullshit!"

"I know, she ended up with that guy!" I yelled with him. Then I started to laugh. "You do know you're watching a chick flick and acting all weird, or how girls would acts."

"I am not!" he defended himself.

We get into a argument about that. But all of sudden we just start laughing. "What were we arguing about?" Seth shrugs as we laugh. I was so glad to have Seth with me.

Next week we were over at my house talking about music. I was playing with cello, playing this song to prove that I know I am practicing. I should be able to play this. I just can't get the ending right. I have to be able to do this by tomorrow. "How can you play this?" he asked.

"Well, you learn it, and you play it," I said simply. "How else would you know how to play?" Seth roll his eyes. "Plus, you wouldn't understand if you didn't know the true menaing of music."

"I like music and I know what it is!"

"Tell me what it is!"

"It's music and it's something you should have fun with. Not waste you're time with classical music and all this junk."

"You're right about it's something to have fun with. But it's an a art, a tradition, a nice sound, something beautiful, and something that amazes you're ears. Music weren't always meant for lyrics, they were for joy and happiness and everything to make you feel good when you were listening to. Music-," I was interrupted by the ringing of my phone.

"Wait what?" asked Seth, who wasn't listening to me speech on music anyways. I roll my eyes and answer the phone.

"Hello."

"Hey," said Jacob. "Miss me?"

"Yes! I miss you so much. I really wish you were here. I'm just showing Seth my music and things. And he doesn't know what true music is!"

"Yes I do!" yelled Seth as Jacob laughs. "She's telling shit here!"

"Anyways, what are you doing? Are you safe? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Ness," I hear Jacob's musical voice say. His voice was actually like music. "I'll be even better if you say I can come this weekend to you're house and stay till Tuesday."

"Oh my god!" I yell. "Of course you can come!"

"That's good to hear," he says. "Well I gotta get going, see you this weekend." I just nod and hang-up.

Seth smirks and says, "Sexy Jacob is coming this weekend! Woo! I'm so excited!" Seht was using his girly voice as I just start laughing. "Getting married this weekend too?"

"Shut up!" I snapped as I thrown a pillow at him and he just laughs and smiles.


	30. Chapter 29 Mistake

**Mistake**

**Chapter 29 **

_I never felt this loss before  
And the world is closing doors  
I never wanted anything more_

**_Mistake by Moby _**

Jacob was coming today and it was going to be soon. So I was just cleaning up my house and everything. Plus this would be the first time he seen it, so I had to give him a good expression on this. Plus he needed to know I would be a good wife. That our kids would be in a safe environment. Not that were getting married or having kids anytime soon.

So I was waiting for the little knock on the door to se Jacob and his smile. Also to hear his sexy voice. To hear is musical laugh. We can hold onto each other and act like it is forever. So we can enjoy each other for eternity. And that we'll love each other, no matter what happens. I just couldn't wait to see him.

My phone starts to ring. "Hey Ally," I say. "What's up?"

"This wedding is so damn stressful!" she yelled. "I mean oh my god!"

"Calm down," I say. "You have four months till you're wedding."

"Don't remind me! I need twenty more months to finish this wedding!"

"Slow down!" I yelled. "Tell me all your bride maids you picked out."

"You, Kyla, my three sisters, Macy, and Taylor, a girl from high school," she says. "And you guys are wearing orange strapless dresses that have glitter all over it with white high heels."

"Where is the wedding?"

"A castle," she says.

"What flowers? What music?"

"Flowers are picked out. Invitations are sent and they pick music, so music should be done by July."

"What else is there to do?" I asked. "The fitting of the dresses for bridemaids is next Saturday. You already got you're dress ordered. A few weeks before you're wedding you want to preorder wedding cake. You're perfectly fine."

"You're right, I'm fine. I'm getting married and it is pretty much all done. But what if turns out to be a total mess?"

"Stop worrying!" I snap. "Just relex and enjoy life until July because that's when all the finishes touches are." I know she is nodding. I hear the knock on the door.

"Okay thanks," she says as I open the door to see Jacob and tell him to wait a minute with my hands.

"I gotta go, and remember to stop worrying," I said.

"Okay, I will. Bye Nessie and thank you so much."

I get off the phone and looked at Jacob. "Hey," he said. "Who was that on the phone?"

"Ally, she's freaking out over the wedding," I said. "But it's okay now." Jacob just nods as I turn on the TV. "I'm going to make dinner. You can watch TV while I'm making it."

So I enjoy a good hour by myself, I wanted to be with Jacob but we had the rest of the weekend and plus he was probably hungry right now. So I need to make something for him so he wouldn't be so hungry anymore. Plus, guys were always hungry.

As soon as dinner was done, we ate it, and then sat on the couch. I was cuddling into him as we watched some move on TV. I barley paid attention to it. I was too busy thinking about other things.

Jacob held my hand tightly. Then he looked down at me and kissed me. We just kissed. Our lips were connected. Our tongues were slipping into each other's mouths. We kissed. We took breaths in between. But we kissed. He picked me up and we kissed as he took me somewhere.

He pulls his shirt over his head quickly as he lays me on the bed. Our lips meet again and again. He starts to take off my shirt as I lay there with my bra and pants on. I go to take off his pants. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"Positive," I lightly said.

Then it happened. I wasn't a virgin anymore. For the first time ever, I had sex with Jacob Black.

It was Sunday, and two days ago was the first time I've ever had sex. I didn't feel any different; I never expected to feel the same. It was just me not a virgin anymore. It was just weird know that I wasn't one anymore. But it was an amazing night.

I loved Jacob, and we soon get married, and we would have an amazing life together. That was just the truth right now. And we would have kids. We would have a family. I known this would happen. But I found the person I wanted to be with and we both loved each other. So Jacob and I were just right with each other.

Jacob was in the shower, and I was making dinner. I hear a knock and I went to go see who it was. It was only Seth. "Hey," I said.

"Hey." He was freaking out.

"Didn't you visit you're family?"

"Yes," he said quickly. "But stuff happened and I don't wanna talk about it."

"You can tell me you know," I said.

"No I can't."

"Seth, we're friends! We can tell each other stuff!"

"We can't always tell each other everything!"

"Why the hell can't w-," and I was interrupted by Seth lips on me.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly but quickly. But Jacob was standing there.

Jacob just walked away looking mad. "Jacob, no!" I yelled. "It's not what you think! It was honestly a mistake!"

"No, I don't want to hear lies!"

"Jake, it was a mistake; I don't know what the hell I was thinking!" Seth yelled.

"Shut up Seth!"

"Can you leave, please?" I asked as Seth just nods and disappears out of sight.

I ran towards Jake. I grab his arm quickly. "I'm leaving."

"No, don't! I love you. Seth and I are just friends!"

"Doesn't look like from what I saw!"

"Don't do this!"

"Renesmee, just stop it!" he yelled.

"I'm not cheating on you!"

"Don't lie to me!" Tears fell down my face. "I don't want to ever talk to you again!"

"You're breaking up with me!?"

"I'm sorry, but we're over."

Jacob left and I didn't try to stop him. All I did was try to convince him to believe that I and Seth weren't an item. But it was mistake. Now I lost Jacob. And I loved him. The tears just keep falling down. I guess we were just over.


	31. Chapter 30 Heartbroken

**Heartbroken **

**Chapter 30 **

_All I did was cry and cry. _

_Always waiting for you to come back. _

_I really do miss you. _

_Will you come back to me? _

_I feel like a zombie lost without you. _

_I do all the stuff needed to be done. _

_But now there seems reason to do so, since you are gone. _


	32. Chapter 31 Dresses & Secrets

**Dresses & Secrets **

**Chapter 31 **

I need another story  
Something to get off my chest  
My life gets kind of boring  
Need something that I can confess

Secrets by OneRepublic

Ally came to pick me up that Saturday. Her family was in town for the weekend so her five sisters would get dress fitting. Macy and Kyla were here for dress fitting. We get to meet her high school friend Taylor at dress fitting. But I was so not in for this. I just wanted to stay home and cry. My friends knew nothing but I and Jacob breaking up. I haven't even faced Seth yet. He kept on calling but I kept on ignoring. I just didn't want to talk to anyone.

But I had to do this for Ally, she needed me to do this or she would stress out about the wedding. I couldn't just bail on her. She would be so stressed and devastated. She would just not be okay and I would feel terrible about doing that to her.

So Ally came to pick me up, and her best friend from high school Taylor was in the passenger seat. Taylor had black dyed hair with bright green eyes. She was pretty tan. Her black hair did not look good with her tan. She wore dark skinny jeans with a black strapless shirt. But overall she was pretty and average.

"Hey I'm Taylor," she said softly.

I say, "Hi, I'm Renesmee but you can call me Ness or Nessie." Taylor nods. "So Ally, are you stressing about the wedding?"

"No, you were right, there's not much work to do which I sure am thankful for. Brian seems satisfied since I'm not going insane on him. How did the weekend go with Jake?"

"It was good," I tell the half-truth and fake smile as Ally smiles back. I knew my eyes were red, they probably had black circles, and I haven't worn make-up in days. So I didn't look all that great. At least I've been taking showers. If I didn't have to leave my house, I would probably just die in there.

Once we got to the store I saw Macy and Kyla with five sister of Ally. "Hey Ness, how did the weekend go with Jake?"

"It was good," I said the same words to Macy as I said the same words to Ally. I didn't want to talk about him; I wanted to stop thinking about him. I didn't want him part of my life. I just wanted it to be gone and disappear or vanish for good. Honestly I didn't want to remember him and he probably just wanted to forget about me too.

"Something is telling me there is something wrong," said Macy.

I said, "Macy, nothing is wrong. I and Jacob are happy." I lie to her; I am holding back everything just so I won't cry. We aren't here to talk about my break-up. We're here to celebrate Ally's engagement and everything. We're here to have fun, not to watch me cry and poor out my problems.

"Anyways, let's get started," Ally said.

Then we were all standing as the person measured our sizes. He was getting everything done but it took some time so of course Macy would be talking. "So I and Embry are living together in Florida."

"That's great Macy," I say.

"Have you guys had sex?"

"No!" snapped Macy. "I want to wait till I am married. I've told you a million times! I know you didn't wait! But did Nessie or did you have some fun this past weekend?"

"Can we not talk about boys? Can we talk about something else?"

"I agree," said Taylor. "Sometimes we just need to get from guys and boy or whatever they so call themselves." We girls laughed.

"Yeah, let's talk about girl thing," said Ally. Her five sisters didn't say a word. "Like…are you improving in you're cello lessons?"

"Yeah I am," I say. "But it's taking a little more time to learn. I'm good at playing violin. Next after cello, I'm going to learn the woodwind instruments. Well first I'm leanring the French horn."

"I love how you get so caught up in you're music," said Kyla. "It's like magical. I love how you can do that." I smile and thank her. "So Taylor, so what do you do?"

"I work a waitress, and I was lucky to get this weekend off," she said.

"You're all finished," said the guy. I went and sat down.

"Do you have a boyfriend Taylor?" asked Kyla. "I'm just wondering."

"No, the last one I dated was cheating on me which was about two months ago. But I really enjoy being single. At first when I found out, I was heartbroken."

"Ness, can you please tell me what you and Jake did," said Macy, or practically begged.

"None of you're business, and it's only for me to know," I say. I knew that was a lie, and I probably should tell her. Macy rolls her eyes. "I have to go to the bathroom." I ran out to the bathroom and cried.

I hear someone enter so I wipe my eyes and do what I can to make me look presentable. It was Taylor. "Macy told me to come and check on you. She looks like a really good friend."

"I'm fine," I lie.

"Renesmee, the moment I saw you, I knew something was wrong," was what Taylor said as I just nod. "You can tell me by just getting you're feeling out."

I nod and say, "My boyfriend broke up me!" That's when the tears just come pouring out, I feel like it is a rainstorm. And I can't help but cry. "He thinks I was cheating on him when I wasn't. I wish I could just go to him but he's in the army. He thinks I was cheating on one of his best friends, Seth. But Seth accidently or I don't even know kissed me. I don't think he meant to but Jake saw. And he broke up with me and left." I just cry.

"Wow that seems harsh. He wouldn't listen to you?"

"No he wouldn't listen to me! He just didn't believe, he just believes in what he saw. And now I'm single but I loved him. He was my first and only boy I kissed. Unless you count the accident with Seth."

"I'm sorry, that really sucks. But you should tell you're friend. I can tell they really care about you even though you don't thinks so."

"I also had sex with him that weekend," I blurt out. I don't know why I said that but I did. "It was my first time too. And now he's gone."

"Oh my god, I'm sorry about that," she said. "But things will get better. You can trust me on that one. You won't be heartbroken forever. You'll get over him and even move on." I nod.

"Thanks." She just nods. "We should probably go back out there."

I and Taylor walk back out. Macy was just getting finished with her fitting of the dress. "Macy, I'm sorry for not telling you anything. I'm sorry for ignoring subjects."

"Okay, are you gonna tell me?" asked Macy.

"Not in here, but I want to tell you all." So as soon as it was all done, we stood outside. "I and Jacob broke-up. He broke-up with me. Because he thinks I'm cheating on him with Seth. Because Seth accidently kissed me and Jake saw, and we're not dating anymore."

"Oh my god, that must be terrible," said Kyla. The rest of my friend just showed me sympathy. They all know that Seth was just a friend to me. But I haven't spoken to Seth about anything. I was upset at him.

Macy came over to spend the night with me, so we could have a girl's night out. We were just going to eat whatever and do whatever. But she knew I wanted nothing to be with boys. "Macy, I didn't tell any of the other girls beside Taylor."

"Can you just blurt it out?" she asked.

"Ihadsexwithjacob," I said very quickly. Macy gave a confuse look. "Okay. I had sex with Jacob." Macy didn't know what to say. I didn't either. "It seemed to be the right time and we thought we were going to be together forever and I just wished I never done it. Sure it was fun, but now I feel like I shouldn't have done it.

"It's okay," she says. "Remember that I'm always on you're side no matter what happens. I promise. I know you need like always. But you need to continue on with life, and forget about Jacob. Let's start by taking the picture away." I nod as we look at every picture and we just threw every single one of them away. But I refuse to throw one away.

Macy gets a gallon of ice cream for us to eat. "That has a lot of sugar in that," I say jokingly as Macy just laughs and hands me a spoon. That night we ate all junk food and watched hilarious movies. It was just one perfect night.

"Remember we would always do this when a boy broke up with us. When it was us three best friends, and we would all just have one night where it didn't matter what we did. We weren't trying to impress any guy. But we should have fun. Usually it was for Lily though. But we all had an amazing night. We never spoke of those nights again. We didn't talk about what we ate. It was just fun."

"Yea, I remember those nights and all those good days we had," I say. "Even some of the bad ones." Macy nods as we smile and laugh.


	33. Chapter 32 New

**New **

**Chapter 32 **

_"No body can go back and start a new beginning, but anybody can start today, and make a new ending." **~Maria Robinson~**_

A month passed and I talked with all my friends. The one person who kept on calling but I refuse to answer was Seth. I probably should talk to him by now. I felt bad for ignoring him, but I couldn't face him. Even thought I was over Jacob now. He didn't matter anymore.

So after my last cello lesson, and I went to my car to go home. I saw Seth leaning up against it and he looked liked he wanted to talk. "Can we talk?" was the first words he said.

"No, I'm busy," I said quietly. "We can- ," I started to say but his voice hushed mine.

"Bullshit," he said. "Why don't we just get this over with and talk now?"

"Let's say we did even though we won't."

"I'm sorry," he said. "For that one night, when I kissed you, and I don't know what made me did that. But yea I like you. But I did not mean to just kiss you. I wasn't even planning on taking you from Jake since you guys looked like the perfect couple. But I ruined that. And I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I'm over Jacob," I said.

"Then shouldn't we still be friends?"

"I don't know, you did ruin a perfect relationship between me and Jacob. And it's just that it's kind of weird knowing that you like me."

"We don't have to be friends, we could just never see each other, or we could be something more," Seth said as he still leaned up against my car. I didn't know what to say. "Or can we please be friends?"

I shrug. We stood there in silence. "Can I take you out? Like on a actual date? One time, if it doesn't work, we can just be friends or never talk to each othet again."

"Fine, one date," I say. "This weekend on Friday around six." Seth nods. He leaves to his car. But oh my god, I agreed to go on a date with Seth Clearwater.

I talked to Ally about it and she seemed surprised. She didn't know if this was good or bad. But I was moving on. If Jacob found out, he would definitely think that I was cheating on him, even though I never was. But Jacob and I would probably never really see each other again.

But at least I was moving on.

Tonight was the night I was going on a date with Seth. I didn't dress too fancy or too casual. I wore jeans with a dressy shirt. It was dark blue tank top and some flip flops. He never said what I had to wear. He was just taking me on a date. I didn't plan on being anymore with him than friends probably.

But I sighed relief to see he wore jeans and a t-shirt. "So where are we going?" I asked.

"You'll see." He drove as we spoke, and of course he made me laugh.

"Wow, you should win the best date award ever. Because we're at a fast food restaurant."

"This is just the first stop, we have one more stop, and then I'm taking you home," he said smiling at me.

"Oh my god, are we going to the zoo!" I shouted jokingly like a little kid. Seth laughed and just shakes his head.

So I talk to Seth. I just tell him about life and almost everything. We talk like we were still friends just hanging out. We probably didn't even look like we were on a date. We were really having fun.

The next stop was a party. I looked at him and he looked at me. "Ready?" he questioned as I nod.

Seth grabs a beer and offers me one. "No thanks, I don't drink!" I shouted over the music. Seth nods. He drinks it in one drink and takes me to the dance floor. I just start dancing. We were touching, probably the way you shouldn't on the first date. But this was how I danced at parties.

We just dance and dance. By the time I'm ready to go home I make my way to the car with Seth. "Oh my god, that was so much fun!" Seth nods, agreeing with me. Since he only had one beer and could walk straight, I found it okay for him to drive.

"Yeah, you're amazing dance," he says.

"Thanks-you," I say nicely. Seth drives away and walked up to my apartment door. "I had fun tonight."

"I did too." I looked up at Seth and stared at his lips. Seth leans down and kisses me softly and we break apart together. I smile. "Good-night."

"Good-night, drive home safely," I say and he nods. I just go in my apartment smiling. This was going to be new. I knew we were going to be in a relationship.


	34. Chapter 33 Surprise

**Surprise **

**Chapter 33 **

"Expect the best, plan for worst, and be prepared to be surprise." **~Denis Waitley~**

It's been a month since we've been dating. I and Seth were perfect together. We both loved each other and cared for each other. We were just perfect together. He was the second guy I dated in my life. Last weekend he met me family.

My dad absolutely loved him. My mom loved whoever I loved. And she was happy for me. I guess Richelle doesn't get too decided if she likes him or not till she's older. But I and Seth have been a perfect couple. I was going to be finishing up college soon.

There were many exciting things going on and on. But one problem, I missed my period this and last month. I'm scared. Did I and Jacob use a condom? I can't remember. It was just too long ago. But I'm thinking I might be pregnant.

So today I was at my apartment by myself in the bathroom taking pregnancy test. I knew my parents would kill me if it was Jacob's baby. If it was Seth, my dad would be like all excited. But if it's Jacob, he won't like it at all.

Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I was pregnant. There were so many great things going on. But would I being pregnant with Jacob's child be a great thing? Or not? I'm not sure what I should do. It is just too complicated. I hope wasn't pregnant. If I was, I would have to make the choice all by myself. The only person who would support me is Macy, I was sure of that.

After about ten minutes of taking the pregnancy test, it says I was pregnant. Should I take another one? I pulled out a second one and took that one. It said yes. I took at least seven when I bought ten, and all of them said yes but one. I was positive that I was probably pregnant. I cried.

My life was just getting close to perfect, and now this happens. What would Seth think? Would he get mad? Will he even care? Should I keep this baby? Should I give this baby up for adoption? Should I do an abortion? I don't even know where to begin to start answering these questions. What was I going to do?

But I decided the best thing was to call Macy. "Hello!" I hear her scream with roaring behind her. She is at one of her games.

"I need to talk you," I say. "Like, in person."

"I'm sorry I can't hear you Ness! Hold on!" Macy went to a much more quieter place. "Hello."

"I need to talk to you in person," I say.

"Um…how about you come to Florida tomorrow, I'll be in my home. We can talk there? Or try to come to Florida. But I miss you."

"Never mind, I don't have time to wait and tell you," I say. "I think I'm pregnant Macy."

Macy went silent. The tears fell down my face. Macy knew it wasn't Seth, and she knew it was Jacob's. I tried writing Jacob a few times but he never wrote back. For all I knew, he didn't even look at my letters. But I wanted to tell him about how sorry I was. "What are you going to do?"

"W-w-what should I d-do?" I stuttered as I cried and Macy didn't know what to say.

"You should tell Seth, no matter what. Even if you're getting abortion, but I really think you shouldn't get one. If I were you, I would keep the baby. Because it is creation I've made with someone else. But you will regret things. But you need to make a choice."

"I know, but I'm scared of what my parents will say, what Seth will say, or what anyone will say." I let the tears fall down and Macy tells me to calm down.

"Go to a doctor or a nurse, talk to them. I really got to get back to my game. But I'll call you later. Kay?" I nod and we both hang-up. I cry and sit there. Then I hear a knock on the door. It was Seth and I knew it. Should I tell him now or wait till I am absolutely positive.

I throw away the pregnancy tests and hurry to go see Seth.

Three days later, I was talk to a nurse as she ran some tests and everything for me. I wait patiently as she runs the last of the tests. She comes back in the room. "So Miss. Cullen, I ran all the tests."

I nod as she looks at the once again. "And?" I question anxiously.

"You're pregnant," she says. "Congratulations." I nod. "Who's the father?"

"Honestly, he broke-up with me, and we haven't been talking. He thinks I cheated on him even though I didn't. But I'm dating this new guy and I hope he'll help out."

"Oh I'm very sorry. As you see, you have many options to do. I don't like to suggest this one but there is abortion, adoption, or all yours. You can keep this child. For birth, there is all natural, water birth, or you can be drugs and all that. There are some options for you. You can take this class to learn more about it."

"Okay, thank-you."

She explains about everything in what I can do. She tells me a little of the processes and I just thank her kindly. But at this moment, I knew I wasn't going to do abortion. Most likely I was going to keep this baby.

Now all I had to do was tell Seth and my parents. I would tell my family and some of my friends. I told Macy first because I needed guidance from her even though she has never been pregnant, but she was a smart girl if she actually put effort and time towards school. Her teachers would know she was super smart.

Later that night, Seth was supposed to take me on a date. But I felt like we should be here at my apartment. "Can we stay here tonight?" I asked as he nods. We sit on the couch and he kisses me softly on the lips. "I have to tell you something."

"What?" he questioned softly as he held me in his lap.

"Well, I'm pregnant," I said. "With Jacob's child."

"Getting an abortion?"

"No."

"What."

"Why should I get an abortion?"

"Because..."

"Are you saying I should get an abortion since I'm not with Jacob anymore and I'm with you. I should just kill the damn baby, right?" Seth nods slowly. "Well I'm not."

"I don't want to take care of something that's not mine!"

"Oh my god, I was hoping you would support me!"

"Well you got that wrong!"

"Well fine! Just leave and don't come back! We're just over! Don't talk to me or call me!" I yelled and he just did that. He didn't want to be part of this baby's life since it wasn't his. But he wasn't going to make me get an abortion. I was going to keep this.

This was surprise to me.


	35. Chapter 34 Telling

**Telling **

**Chapter 34 **

I've had choices  
Since the day that I was born  
There were voices  
That told me right from wrong  
If I had listened  
No I wouldn't be here today  
Living and dying  
With the choices I made

**Choices by George Jones **

I've made my choices. I was quitting school, and I was moving on with life. I would become a music teacher since I had a degree for that. They would allow me. I was going to keep this baby and give it all the love I could. And I was going to have to tell Jacob. I would have too. He had the right to know that he was going to be a father.

The worst thing is that I have to tell my dad I'm pregnant. I was pretty much saying I had sex with Jacob. That was all what he would probably hear. He wouldn't hear that part I wasn't pregnant. He would just hate everything about it.

So I was going home now. And I was going to stay there and raise my child. Hopefully I would find someone who loved me. I could start a family with them. I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I just hope my dad would support me. I was pretty positive my mom would support me all the way.

I didn't know how to say it. I could just blurt it out when I see them. I could say, 'Hey mom and dad, I'm pregnant.' Or I could say, 'Hey, I and Jacob are having a baby.' Or I could just take it slowly, by having a nice conversation and dinner, and then tell them so everything would be okay. I would have to tell them soon and tell them about this. I couldn't hide this from them. I had to tell them.

So I decided I should just tell them tonight and get it over with. I just couldn't hide something this big from them anymore. I just needed to tell them and see their reactions. I just needed to get this over with. This couldn't be a secret. Plus, how would I hide this secret?

My parents knew I was coming and my mom was coming to pick me up. Since my father would always forget about me now. I guess he had favorites already and that was Richelle. I would probably never be his favorite again after today. He would hate me and the baby. He would hate Jacob.

Right now while I'm on the airplane I decided to write the letter to Jacob about us and everything, even thought he may not read it. At least I was going to try and tell him. That was the best I could do to my ability.

_Dear Jacob, _

_Honestly I'm sorry for what happened with us. But I've never cheated. I'll admit a couple weeks after I've ignored Seth but we dated for about a month. Now we're over. But I'm not here to win you're heart back and get back with you. I'm honestly hear to talk about us. Remember the night we made love…well that love made a baby. Now I'm pregnant with you're child…that's really all I have to say. But I still love you. Hopefully you read this letter. _

_Love Renesmee. _

That seemed good enough. Even though he may never read it, and at least I tried to tell him about me being pregnant. That's all that really mattered. But who knows if he would ever found out he had kid with me. Billy might find out and tell him. But I think I was unwelcomed to Billy now since I and Jacob broke up.

Soon enough my eyes fell heavy and I went to sleep for the rest of the plane ride.

Later that night we arrived in Port Angelos. My mom was there and ready to pick me up. But we didn't really talk. We were both tired so we just paid attention to everything else around us. I guess I would tell them tomorrow at lunch.

But time zooms by before my eyes. We as a family, all four of us were eating lunch that my father has made me. "So how are things going?" dad asked.

"Good," I managed to say. We talked and talked. I could barely listen because I was scared of what they were going to say. I was two months pregnant. It was June now. "I have to somethint to say," I blurt out as I interrupt my dad from telling me a story.

"Okay," said mom. "Are you okay? You seem really nervous." I just nod slowly even though I was nervous and scared. "You can tell us anything, you do know that?"

"I know," I say. That's when tears come out. "I love you." I hug mom. My mom held me as dad just waited. "I'm pregnant."

"That's great!" shouted my dad. "I'm sure Seth will make a great father!"

"Dad!" I shouted. "I don't let my guard down for only dating a guy for like a month! I'm two months pregnant! Figure it out!"

My dad thought and then he frowned. He knew who the father was. My mom just smiles and hugs me. "Congratulations Renesmee!" my mother says and hugs me. Dad doesn't say a word. My mom was going to be happy.

"Can you say something?" I ask my dad.

"You had sex with that bitch! That son of a bitch! I thought you were smarter than that. Now you're carrying his child and keeping this goddamn child!"

"This child's part of me!" I yell.

"Hell no it isn't! You're getting an abortion, right now!"

"You can't force me in anything!"

"Yes I can, I am you're father!"

"AND I'M AN ADULT!" I screamed. As I and my father argue, the baby cries. "You can't force me in anything!"

My dad just looks at me. "I can forbid you to see us and my family if you don't get one."

"Fine," I say.

"Edward, don't do this!" yelled mom. "If you kick her out again, I'm leaving." I looked my mom say that to my dad. "I will take everything of mine and even Richelle. You are not kicking out my other daughter. What if Richelle dates someone you hate too and gets pregnant with that guy! Are you going to kick her out and never see you're daughters again?"

"Bella, don't do this."

"Then she's staying here with me. She's my daughter and this is my house too! If you want disown her, do that! But I will not disown my daughter. I love her."

My father doesn't say anything but nods as he walks away. I hug mom. I knew dad was going to start ignoring me since I was pregnant with Jacob's child. I sent out the letter I wrote to Jacob. Life was going to get hard all over again. I needed to find a job, so I could get a place, and we could all be a happy family.

"What are you thinking about?" asked mom as she sat down right next to me.

"Life," I say honestly. "Is there this music program anywhere here?"

"No, there's one in Seattle though," said mom. "You should try getting a job there." I smile and just nod. "I'm for sure they'll take you if you show them all you're good grades and how you got in Julliard. I'm positive they would hire you."

"I'll try but it's like an hour drive, and I want to live here in Forks."

"You do know we have three cars," said mom "You can use one."

"Thanks mom," I said. "Do you mind if I take it now?" Mom just sakes her head as she tells me where the keys are. There I am, driving to Seattle.


	36. Chapter 35 Again

**Again **

**Chapter 35 **

_"Sometimes I wish I were a kid again; skinned knees are a lot easier to fix than a broken heart." **~Unknown~**_

It's been on week since I applied to Music and Arts Program. It's where kids can do all sorts of things with about anything. It's this really nice place. Kids go and learn music there or do lessons. They honestly have professionals do all that stuff. Like you have to be good and gone to school, which I have.

They also have this art program where you teach kids how to paint, draw, or improve on skills. They also have some athlete stuff. Where kids can improve on sports and working out, and it was just a nice place to be in.

They also had camps where you could stay in the building and they would provide about everything. And I would probably be doing that during the day. But I thought it was a really good program. They also had adults there so they can do those things too.

"Renesmee!" called out my father.

The only words my father said to me was my name and one sentence saying something is for me and or I have to do something. I get up and he points to the phone since I got rid of my cell phone since I could not afford it anymore.

"Hello," I say.

"Is this Renesmee Cullen?" asked a male voice.

"Yes, yes it is."

"Well I'm Joe Clark, from the Music and Arts Program." I just smile. "I like to have interview with you this Saturday at noon. And wear something nice."

"Um okay, see you then," I said. And I smiled. I might actually get this job. My mom walked in as I was smiling. "They called! The Music and Arts Program!"

"Oh my god, I'm so proud of you," was what mom said.

"Well it's just an interview but they actually think I might be good for this!" And my mom hugged me and I took Richelle. "You're sister might actually get a job!" I said my little baby talk as Richelle just stared at me.

The house phone started to ring once again. I grabbed the phone. "Hello," I say.

"Is this Renesmee?" a voice asked in whisper.

"Yes, who is this?" I asked.

"Lily," said my best friend who was in a mental hospitable the last time I knew. "You're back in Washington, and I'm here with my mom."

"That's great, why are you whispering?"

"I'm not supposed to be talking on the phone. The doctors say I need to eat much more and stop doing drugs. But I need to talk to you, I need to see you!" shouted Lily.

"Lily!" shouted her mom.

"Meet me tomorrow at La Push Beach at six."

"What the hell is wrong with you Lily? You can't stop being off the fucking phone!" her mom screamed. And the line went dead. I put the phone back in place.

The next day I drive to the beach and see Lily sitting on the sand. She looked really different from the last time I seen her. I wondered what's been happening in her life. I wonder if she was okay.

Lily's skin was paler. "Lily," I say softly. Lily has tears in her face. Her eyes were gloomy and lighter. She looked sick and she didn't look so good. She wore jeans and a light blue tank top. "Are you okay?"

Lily stood up and just hugged be as I just hugged her back. "I don't know if I'm okay!" she shouted. "I'm scared for my life!"

"Lily, it'll be okay!" I shout. "You're fine. Life will get better!"

"It's not though!" The tears were falling down her face. "I can't do drugs! I have to eat a ton and I can't handle problems without drugs! And I can't live like this!" She was addicted drugs; they were how she dealt with problems. "And I'm pregnant! How's this helping with anything?"

"Wait, you're pregnant?" I questioned as she nodded. "Well, you need to stay away from drugs and you need to eat Lily!" She just nodded as she also cried. I hug her. "Don't worry. You're not the only one pregnant." Lily just cried. "I'm also pregnant."

"You are?" she questioned as I nodded. "My mom is so going to kill me. She's so pissed that I'm back here! She wants me back in that mental hospitable! She slapped me and she calls me a slut, bitch, and whore. All she does is calling me names!"

"It's okay."

"My mom hates me! And I know who the father is by image but not his damn name! I came home because I'm pregnant! My mom has been being a bitch to me!"

"Lily, it's okay!"

"I can't go back in that house with her!" Lily yelled being serious. "She's like a drunk that doesn't drink to get that. Look at what she did to me!" Lily pulls down her jeans a little and there was this huge bruise. "Ness, you can't let me go back there! She's nothing but mean to me in there! She says I'm her biggest mistake ever! Next she says that dad was her next biggest mistake ever!"

"Lily, it's going to be okay. You can come home with me," I say as I take her to my car. She sits in the passenger seat. "Put you're seat belt on." Lily does s and I take her with me.

I take Lily to my room as my dad and mom stare at me. I lie her on my bed and she falls asleep and I come back downstairs. "Who was that?" asked mom.

"That was Lily," I said. "She's changed, I know."

"What's that matter with her?"

"She's been in a mental hospitable. She's addicted to drugs and has an eating disorder. Her mom calls her names and everything. Her mom hits her. And she says Lily is her biggest mistake of all. Lily is scared to deaf; I couldn't let her go back to her mom. And she's also pregnant."

"Lily's not doing so well in life," she says as I nod towards her.

"So all we have to do is make sure there are no drugs in this house or anything on her, also we need to feed her. We have to keep her healthy for this baby inside her. We need to take care of her and get her in full health. Dad, you can help too, right?" He just nods. "Thank-you."

I go back upstairs and check all of Lily's pockets and find nothing but lip gloss on her and a note. It was her writing with a suicide note on it. I would have to keep her alive. She deserved a good life and I wasn't putting her in a mental hospitable, it turned her to normal but she was so much angrier there.

I push her over a little as I get into the bed and fall to sleep.

It's been three days since Lily's been her. I've been making Lily three meals a day and her mom hasn't called or found her, yet. I kept on giving her snacks. Lily tried to push it away but I forced her to eat it everything on the plate. I gave her healthy food. We did little exercises together.

I kept close eyes on her. I would stand outside the bathroom door, waiting for her. I had to make sure she didn't throw up the food I've given her. I also had to make sure she wouldn't do any drugs or anything that may harm her.

One day as we sat in the living room watching TV this was the news. "How are you?" I asked Lily as she sits there and stares at the TV. It was talking about how three teenagers died in a car accident and someone was drinking and driving. So one was dead and the others were in the hospitable.

"Good," she says as she watches the TV. "Why are you treating me like a kid?"

"Lily, I'm just protecting you," I say. "You need someone to watch over you, care for you, and not being violent towards you."

Lily didn't say anything but she sat there and watched the screen. "I'm scared," she finally says as tears flow down her face. "And I'm so stupid! All I did was call my nurses bitches, and mean names when all they did was care for me. They tried to help me! They didn't give up. Then I sneak out and go have sex! What kind of person am I?"

"Lily, you're a good person!" I yelled. "Don't think otherwise. I can't let you hurt yourself. You made some mistakes in life. If you could go back, what would you do?"

"I would stop myself from doing drugs, and I would have a better life. This baby would have a better life," she says. "Should I keep this baby?"

"Yes," I say quickly. "I think one reason why you're stronger sometimes is because of that baby growing inside of you. I know you can do this. You're brave and smart. I love you, you're like my sister."

Lily hugs me. "Thanks for not giving up on me." I just nod.

"You're welcome," I say. "My mom is going to keep an eye on you since I have a job interview. Is that okay with you?" Lily nods.


	37. Chapter 36 Job

**Job **

**Chapter 36 **

"We are excited about this opportunity to serve more people." **~Dave Riek~**

I was getting ready for my interview. I was deciding if I should wear my hair up or down. Which one would look better? I put it in a high ponytail but it didn't look right. I was about to straighten it but I hear Lily. "Don't straighten you're hair." I jumped at the sound of her voice.

Lily smiles a little and says, "You should go with a natural look. Keep you're wavy hair down, do skin tone make-up and put a little mascara one. Then you pick the color clothes that look best with you're skin color." I give her look. "I'm serious!"

"What do you know about job interviews?" I asked.

"Honestly, a lot. If I didn't do any of the shit I did, I would probably have a job right." I smile as I applied the natural tone skin color make-up on. "You know, you always looked good in the color I killed for."

"That would be?" I question her.

Lily smiles as she runs out of the bathroom and brings back a dress. It was midnight blue. The dress looked about knee length, it had thick straps but didn't cover the whole shoulder, and it has small white designs on the bottom of flowers. I smile. "I remember you wore this to Ninth grade dance. And I bet it fits you."

"I bet it does," I say softly. "Thank-you so much." I give Lily a hug as she hugs me back. She seemed to be getting better every day. But she was probably having one of those moments. Soon I would get her out of drugs and everything unhealthy for her.

I get the dress on and look in the mirror. I still look like me. But I have that natural look. I adjust my hair. I looked just perfect for a job interview. I open the door and Lily smiles. "You look beautiful," she says.

"I'm going to leave. Can you please not do anything stupid or you'll regret later? That means cooperate with my parents. No taking drugs. Eat! Do not throw it up! I'm serious!" Lily rolls her eyes but nods. The phone starts to ring. I answer the house phone. "Hello."

"This is Lily's mom. Do you know where my daughter is?"

"Why do you care?"

"Well, she's my daughter and I love her."

"I've seen her and I saw the way you've been hitting her and calling her things. We talked a little over a week ago and she left. I don't know where she went." I was lying to Lily's mom about her own daughter. I saw Lily stare at me and her face is pale.

"Don't lie to me!" she yelled.

"I'm not lying to you!"

"I should have never let my daughter hang out with you bitches!"

"I shouldn't have thought you were good, I should have been calling you a bitch this whole time since you just like pushing around Lily! And I'll tell you the truth right now! I have no fucking idea where she is. And good-bye, I have a job interview to get to." With that I hung up the phone all frustrated.

"Good luck," Lily says. "Sorry about my mom." I just shrug. "Um I really hope you get the job." I smile for her confidence. Lily sits on the couch.

"Thanks Lily! Eat some cereal! Later we're going out to eat for celebration if I get or don't get the job!" Lily smiles and nods as she grabs a box of cereal.

I drove and drove. I had a lot of time to think. Life has been hellish. Once I started dating Seth, I thought things would be perfect. But with me, it's never perfect. I get to the point where it seems like it is but it's not.

I liked be a little kid. I didn't know anything, and everything was perfect. There was nothing to worry about. When we believed in those princess fairytales which always have happily ever after, and I wished I had a prince who loved me but I never had someone love me like Jake did. I think Seth just had a minor crush; the relationship probably would have not last.

I got there right at noon. I walked inside. "Hello, I'm Renesmee Cullen. I'm here for my job interview." The lady at the desk nods. She calls up the boss of this whole organization. In no time I am in his office.

"HelloMiss. Cullen, I'm Joe Clark." He puts his hand out for me to shake so I shake it. I was pretty nervous talking to him.

"Hi," I say. "Called me Nessie, nickname friends gave me." Joe smiles and nods. "So you looked over my application."

"Honestly the thing that caught my eye was you went to Julliard. You know how to play three instruments. You seem like a very good musician. Why didn't you go be one? Why did decide to come here?"

I really didn't want to tell him but he would find out soon. "Honestly I've been planning on teaching on kids. But I thought of being a musician. If I stayed one more trimester or semester, I would probably be on."

"Why didn't you stay long then?"

"Because I'm pregnant," I say, even though I didn't really want too. "I'm two months so you can't really tell yet."

"So you got a boyfriend?" he questioned. "Sorry, I know this isn't part of the interview, but I would like to know."

"Well, actually no. He's in the army right now. And we broke up since he thought I was cheating. I sent him a letter but he hates me now. So I don't know if he'll read the letter or not. So I'm back her living with my parents. I'm trying a to find a job so I can get money to buy my own house to live with my child."

"Oh, sorry about you is boyfriend." I just smile and shrug. "Anyways," he says and we get on with the interview. "So you started to play the piano when?"

"When I was four," I say. "When I got into Harvard, that's when I started to learn other instruments. And I'm still going to try and learn other instruments." He nods. But I kept look at the clock.

But we talked on and on. "I'm sorry but are you distracted?"

"No," I say quickly. He gives me a look. "A little. Things been going on this week. It's been hell for me lately." He gives me a look to explain. "Well my friend who I haven't talk to in awhile is back home from being at the mental hospitable since she's pregnant now. And she's still addicted to drugs and has an eating disorder. Her mom treats her terribly. She calls her names like a slut since she's pregnant. I've been watching over her. I'm worried sick because I feel the need to protect her since she was always there to protect me."

"That's understandable." I just nod. "Anyways we're about done with the interview. And I think I'm going to hire you. Well I am going to hire you."

"Oh my god, thank-you so much!"

"But you can please not be so distracted."

"Yea I can do that."

"You start Monday at eight in the morning. You'll work to six at night. Monday through Friday. Does that sound good?"

"Sounds great! Also just in advance time, well I'll need the month of January and February off for the baby. That's all I need."

"Okay, that's fine, reminds me in September." I smile as I start to go to my car and head home. I had a job finally. But when I pulled into the driveway, I saw Lily's mom's car.


	38. Chapter 37 Dealing

**Dealing **

**Chapter 37 **

Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter

**Fighter by Christina Aguilera**

I head inside quickly to see my dad on the porch steps witch Richelle, trying to calm her down. I knew something bad was going on in there. I hurry inside to see her mom yelling. "That's my daughter and I want her!"

"Can we please discuss this as adults since we all are adults here?" questioned my mom in a reasonable tone.

"Hell no!" shouted Lily's mom.

"Fine! Let's argue and do it the hard way!" I shouted. "You can't have her! One, because you pretty much abuse and lead her to depression! Another is because you don't even care or love her! Three, because you can't force her in one damn thing!"

Lily was crying, it was probably the hormones taking over because normally she would be arguing back. "Let my daughter choose!" I look at Lily.

"I'm not going with you," she said softly as the tears fell down. "You're a sick monstrous bitch, and I don't want you near me or my child. I want you out of my life." Her mom looked at her and frowned.

"Don't you dare call me a bitch? You know what shit I put up with you! I gave you a home, for you spoiled brat! I gave you clothes! A phone! Anything you wanted! And you repay me with you taking drugs and getting pregnant! I think you're the bitch here!" her mom yelled and stormed out of the house in rage. Like a teenage daughter would with her parents.

Lily broke down and hid her face in her knees as she cried. "Don't listen to her," I say. "I'm glad you stood up to her. I'm glad you called her a bitch in front of her face." I hug Lily. Mom nodded in agreement as she massaged her shoulders softly.

"What if I am the bitch?"

"You're not!" I shouted. "Don't even think one thing about that because you're not one. You're one of the nicest people I meant. Sure, you can have a temper sometimes. Now think about what you want to be."

"I'm not sure," she mumbled.

"Let's talk about it later," I say. "Because I want to celebrate for my new job starting on Monday!"

"Oh my god, that's so great!" yelled Lily as she hugged. "I'm happy for you."

"That's great sweetheart, I'm glad you got the job."

"What are we talking about?" asked my dad.

"You're daughter got a job," said mom. My dad smiled and told me good job. "So I and you're father are going to discuss things while you two go out for lunch. You can take my credit card."

"Are you sure?" I asked. My mom nodded as we both left of lunch.

That night I and Lily didn't worry about anything. We went out for dinner and then went to zoo. We took picture of about everything. We didn't talk about boys or the babies. We didn't talk about problems. We just enjoyed each other. We both just needed to get away from it.

Later that night when we got home, we all sat in the living room. "We both care about you two teenagers very much." I nod and Lily was like what. "Yes Lily, you're apart of this family. So we have been thinking. Lily, you're having a hard time dealing with problems. I think you need to see a therapist, just till you feel better and let all out you're feelings." Lily nodded. "And we want to sue you're mom for what she did."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked. "You shouldn't waste money on me."

"We're not," said my dad. "We're helping you. We just think you need to talk to someone else about this. I think we'll do it on Saturdays and I'm sure Renesmee will go with you. And we don't think it's right with what you're mother did. So we think this would be good. We're not putting you in a crazy home." Lily sighs of relief.

"But Lily, I want you to feel welcome to talk to anyone of us in this house at anytime. I want you to be strong and healthy. If you can overcome all this, you'll make a great mother and parent. You'll have an amazing life. And once you get better, you could start taking with getting a high

School diploma." Lily smiles and nods knowing she would need to do that soon.

"Thank you so much," said Lily as she hugs my mom and dad. "I really appreciate what you have been doing." My mom and dad smile. "If you don't mind, I'm going to take a shower." I smile, knowing everything was going to be alright.

Work was getting so stressful. I had to paperwork and talk to parents. I taught kids and I tell them there progress with it all. It was getting hard to keep up with everything. The other teacher for piano just retired so I had all of her students at different times. I had to some violin lessons. But I was working very hard. By the time it was Saturday, I woke up at nine so I could go to therapy session with Lily.

Once we were in the room with her therapist, it was girl named Shelly Cooks. "Hello, I'm Shelly Cooks. And please call me Shelly. You're Lily Parks." She nods. "I think we should just get to know each other first, then nest week I'll be asking some questions.

"Hi, I'm Nessie Cullen, her friend, she needed me to come," I said and Shelly nods.

"I'll tell a little about myself. I'm married to this wonderful man. I had three kids, two are living with me currently, and we're planning on having another one. I've been working at this job for about ten years. I had many successes. I love doing this job a lot. And I always wanted to help people in some way."

"I'm-," started Lily but she didn't know what to say. "Well…my parents divorced and my mom hates me. My dad just left and never showed up again. I'm pregnant. I don't really know the father. I didn't graduate from high school. I've been in a mental hospitable for about two years. I'm still into drugs and I have an eating disorder. Well kind of, I'm getting used to the idea of eating. Can we just ask questions already?"

Shelly nods. "Where did you picture yourself fifteen years ago?" she asked. Lily thought and thought. It was silent for a little.

"You were five and I remembered you said you were going to be a princess and you would do whatever you wanted," I said softly as Lily laughs lightly at that memory.

"I probably picture myself as a princess." Shelly nods at that answer.

"What about ten years ago?"

"Well…I pictured myself as a house mom and my husband would work all the time." Shelly nods as she write this all down.

"Five year ago?"

"Honestly the same, I've never thought about working a job. I was so into boys and that was so damn stupid. Maybe Nessie was right and I was some slut who dated older guys and sex when I wanted." I remember that day in the mall.

"If you could change anything, would you?"

"Yes," she says.

"Next week, I want you to bring in a listen of memories of five years old to now. Tell me the memories you would never want to change and the ones you want to. That's what we will talk about. Could you do a few memories to Nessie, for an example for her?" I just nod. "Well we'll be talking about that for two weeks probably." Lily nods.

"She's really nice," Lily says. "I thought therapy would be horrible. But it's actually good."

"She's just going to help you get better and feel better," I say. "It's her job. Lily, I haven't told Macy about you. Do you want to talk to her? I think you should let her know what's going on with you. Because she is coming to visit soon." Lily just nods but I can tell she's not up for it.


	39. Chapter 38 Therapy

**Therapy**

**Chapter 38**

You don't know you're beautiful!  
If only you saw what I can see  
You'll understand why I want you so desperately  
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe  
You don't know (oh oh)  
You don't know you're beautiful!  
(Oh oh)  
That's what makes you beautiful!

**What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction**

Macy was coming over this weekend, and she knew all about me being pregnant. The only thing she didn't know was about Lily. Of course she would be mad but get over it. "Eat," I tell Lily as she just kept pushing her food away.

"I'm not hungry," she says.

"Lily! You didn't eat breakfast! Now you have to eat lunch before we go out to dinner with Macy!"

"I. Am. Not. Hungry," she says each word as a sentence.

"Goddamn it! Just eat!" I yell. "Why won't you eat?"

"I'm scared and nervous!"

"About what!"

"Macy, I'm scared of she is going to say just because I couldn't give her one call!" she yells and I hug Lily but once again I push the food towards her. "You're still going to make me eat." I nod as Lily still shakes her head. I pick up the fork and force her mouth open, as I plop the food in. I make sure her mouth is close. She chews and swallows.

"Don't make me feed you," I said. But Lily refused to eat so I forced her to eat half of the meal before she would eat it herself. So I left to take a shower. Once I get out, I wear some pants and a t-shirt. I look in the mirror from a side to see a real small tummy. I was only three months pregnant. But you could still see the tiny roundness. But you barley could see Lily's pregnant tummy.

The doctor said the baby was completely healthy and Lily was getting healthier. Tomorrow we had to go to her therapy session. Lily's second therapy session was tomorrow. I had my list already for tomorrow, I didn't know about Lily.

"Did you get the list done?" I asked. Lily just doesn't say anything as she finishes the rest of the food. "Lily, did you finish it?"

"Almost," she said. "I only got up to thirteen years old."

"I'm guessing there isn't a lot," I said. Lily shrugs and I just smile.

"I need to get my hair done," Lily says. "Can you get an appointment for me? I have so many split ends and my I want to get my nails done." I smile, knowing Lily was becoming more of herself every day.

"Okay, I'll try for next week sometime soon," I said.

"Lily," my mom says as she enters the room. "So I got a lawyer today, she's a good friend of mine. So she's going to help you. I need you tell me stuff I don't know right now. Anything from when you're younger?"

"I remember growing up in a healthy home up to the age ten. That's when my parents started to argue. My mom had violent tempers, sometimes she taken it on me. And it left some bruises sometimes; it wasn't constant, when I left I thought it was done. When I came back, it became constant." Lily was crying.

I remember the one time.

_We were at the beach, about to go swimming. Lily wore some bikini bottoms with a long sleeved shirt. "Oh my god! You look so damn stupid Lily! Take off you is shirt!" _

_"No, I'm fine!" she shouted. _

_I didn't say anything; I just sat there on the towel, trying to tan since it is and so in. "What the hell?" Macy rolled her eyes and put her sunglasses on. Lily didn't do anything. Macy looked at Lily. "Goddamn it! Take off you're damn shirt!" _

_"You're not my mother! Are you?" Lily gave the attitude towards Macy which was going to piss Macy off. _

_"Why aren't you being a slut now? Like you always been!"_

_"Bitch," said Lily. _

_"Whatever." _

_"Shut up!" I shouted. "I'm tired of this shit!" _

_Lily just stood there and Macy looked at her. "What are you hiding?" _

_"Nothing, now leave me alone you bitch!" _

_"I'm wondering what's bothering you and you call me a bitch for it. Don't expect me to care next time when you most need it!" _

Maybe that was why she wouldn't take off her shirt because of the bruises. And Macy was just trying to be helpful. I was surprise after all the arguments we had, we're all still really good friends.

"It's okay to be scared Lily," said my mom. "Tomorrow evening we're talking to our lawyer. And we're going to do something to your mother. Don't worry, you'll be safe. I promise you that you're mother will never touch you again."

Later that night, I made Lily eat a small desert. But this time, she ate with no complaint. She looked down and looked at me. Macy gave me a call. "Hey Ness! I'm coming in tomorrow, and I'll be staying for three days. We can hang out all tomorrow and Sunday. Monday, I'll hang out with my mom. We're going to have so much fun."

"Um…okay Macy," I say and look at Lily as she went wide eyed. Lily nods and hands out her hand so she can grab the phone and speak to Macy. "Someone wants to talk to you." I hand the phone to Lily.

"Hey Macy," Lily says softly. "It's me Lily. They talk and talk. "I'm eating cheesecake." Lily laughs. Lily tells how I'm helping her with the problems of drugs and eating. She says she's seeing a therapist. Lily also talks about her mom with her abusive hits and how my parents got her a lawyer. "Um…I'm also pregnant."

I hear Macy scream, "WHAT!" Lily just stays quiet.

"I don't know who the father is, that's the problem," Lily says and I stay quiet. I don't say a word. They talk and talk as Lily finishes up the cheesecake. Lily hands the phone to me.

"Hey," I say.

"You knew about this for a month and didn't say one thing about Lily," Macy said.

I say quickly, "It wasn't my place to say. I don't go around telling everyone, hey my friend has problems right now and she's needs and getting help. Do you expect me to say that you when it isn't my thing to say. It's Lily's choice if she wants people to know her life. Not my choice."

"Wow, you could have said Lily is with you or back in Washington."

"Lily didn't want you to know!" I shout. "I'll see you tomorrow, we can talk then." I hung up, I wasn't going to get in a bad mood because Macy is mad at me.

I saw Lily was writing in a notebook. She stayed quiet. I just saw her write and write. Lily looks up and says, "I'm a problem, and my whole life is a problem. I'm the problem! I'm what make problems!" Lily shouts as she cried.

"That isn't true Lily," I say. "You just made the wrong choices and did things you probably shouldn't do. But everybody does that. It's okay!" I hug Lily. I see her write once again and she writes a lot. I knew tomorrow would be an interesting therapy session for some reason.

Tomorrow we were sitting in the room with Lily's therapist Shelly. "Hi Lily and Nessie," she says softly. "It's good to see you again. How are you all feeling?"

"Good," Lily says. "So I brought the list." And Lily shows the journal.

"Okay, tell me all of it," Shelly says.

Lily opens it. "When I was five, I made some choices by doing what mommy and daddy did. I hear my parents curse all the times. I hear them say damn, damn it or shit. I remember saying those words. Each time my mouth would get filled with soap."

"Do you think it your fault?"

"Well yea, my mom scolded me and everything and called me a little bitch," Lily says.

"Honestly, I don't think it is your fault, you were following the influences around you, which are your parents. What other influences did they teach you?"

"Well my dad drank ton of beer. He said it tasted really good. My parents both smoked so I was use to the smell my whole life."

"How long?"

"Ever since I was born," I hear Lily say.

"Well do you think that influenced you to try all that stuff because you're parents did all of that stuff?" Lily shrugged. "What do you think Nessie?"

"I really think your parents do influence you to do stuff, especially your friends. Honestly Macy and Lily had a huge impact on my life, once you two started, I joined in because I wanted to fit in with you. I didn't want to be left out. But I knew it was so wrong and I never really wanted to do it," I say as Lily looks down. I know deep down she is feeling bad.

Shelly nods, and turns toward Lily. "Well when I was seven I didn't listen to my mom a lot," she starts. "She would try not to hit me, but it happened sometimes. And she controlled it for awhile but then she got so pissed at me once, she hit me so hard." Lily cried, and I couldn't help but cry with her. I never have seen her look so weak in her life. "That's when I always tried to be a good girl. When dad was around, she was usually happy. He started to leave when I want ten a lot. And she gets crazy. All this time, my dad, that stupid fucker was having affairs when he should have been protecting me! He's fucking stupid person! I fucking hate-," I jumped at her yells.

"Lily! Come back to reality!" screamed Shelly then Lily stopped and sat down. "I think we're done for today," she said.

"No!" shouted Lily. "I want to keep talking." Shelly sighs but nods. "I always tried to be the best girl ever. And when I was around Macy and you, I felt powerful. To me it was all like a competition. You were in last place Nessie. Macy was the first one to get her first kiss and I just thought that I needed to do something bigger and better. But Macy was just more powerful. I didn't like anyone over me, but at the same time I could be powerful than her."

"Is that why you had sex when you were thirteen?" I asked softly and she nods slowly.

"But then the day at the mall, you made me look weak and vulnerable," she says. "You called me a slut and yelled at me. I never realized you could be so powerful. But then you weren't trying to be like that, you were trying to help me. Macy never said anything, she was like ew whatever. You stayed quiet till that one night because you actually cared what I and Macy did."

"I guess," I said. "I just never thought about it."

"You do care!"

"Can you share a experience about how Nessie cared for you and Macy?" asked Shelly.

There Lily was, telling a story.

_Macy was driving really fast down the road. She was going way over the speed limit. Macy smoked her cigarette as Lily sat in the backseat talking to her new boyfriend for the week. "I love you Paul," she said. "Oh my god, that's so cool." _

_"Shut up!" yelled Macy. "Just say where you guys are meeting for sex!" Lily looked at Macy. _

_"Shut up Macy! I don't need to put up with your shit right now!" yelled Lily. "Anyways, tonight, your place? Okay, see you tonight." _

_"I don't think you should be with Paul," I said quietly. Lily gave me a look like she didn't hea me. "I don't think you should be with Paul!" _

_"Why?" _

_"Because…I just have a bad feeling about him!" _

_"Whatever, you can't tell me what the hell to do. You're not my mom." _

_"Slow down," I said to Macy. _

_"No funs today are we?" Macy slowed down and continued to drive. _

_"And put on your seat belt," I said. Macy groaned as she throws the cigarette out and puts on the seatbelt just to make me happy. "Lily, please don't go tonight, don't go ever!" _

_"Oh my god!" screamed Macy as she slowed down so she would hit a deer. Luckily no one was behind us. Macy's forehead hit the headboard so she had little tiny scratches. The deer passed by. _

_"If you weren't wearing your seatbelt we would see you out on the road and we would have hit a deer if you were speeding," I said. I rubbed my head since my head was hurting since I hit it. _

_"What the hell?" asked Lily? "It was just consisdence, I'm still going to his house," she said. _

_"So you're going to miss my cousin's birthday party, the one you promised to be at?" I questioned just remembering it. _

_"Shit!" she cursed. _

Lily finished the story and I just shrug. "It was nothing Lily," I said. "That was me um…," I said trying to find the right word.

"Caring," she said. Shelly nods in agreement. "I wish I was you Nessie, you're perfect."

"I'm not perfect," I said.

"I think that's not enough for now, see you next week, we'll be talking about the same things," Shelly said as we both left out the door together.

"Ready to see Macy?" I questioned and Lily just nods and smiles


	40. Chapter 39 Macy

**Macy **

**Chapter 39**

_Tonight We are Young_

_So let's set the World on Fire_

**_We are Young by Fun_**

We were one our way to Macy's house, we sat in silence. Did Lily really mean what she said about me and how perfect I was? But I never was perfect. I thought my life was hell. I wished my life would be like Lily's or Macy's. I always wished that. But I knew it would never happen.

But was just sat there in silence till Lily said, "I meant what I said there." I just look at the road. "You had a perfect life. You had parents that actually cared. You were rich, and you weren't one of those spoiled brats. But you're parents would give you money when you wanted because you didn't use it that much."

"Lily, my life was never perfect!" I shouted.

"But you had so much! You had a big house! You could've bought vintage clothing! But you never did! You bought regular clothing from the mall. You acted normal! You acted as if you were never rich. No body knew you were rich! No body used you! You could've become popular. But you decided to be something different! Why?"

"I was popular once," I say. "In first grade, I left Macy. And I became them. And I hated it." Those girls picked on everyone; they acted as if they were everything. "They picked on everyone. They did what they wanted. First week I realize that's stupid and I didn't want be a bitch like them. I realize there were more important things in life. Friends for life, education, and family. That's why I did what I did, and acted as if I'm normal and not one of them. I made a promise that I would never be them; I would stick with friends always, and be with family."

Lily just looked down, as I said this. "Well…that's it." I just nod.

"I'm sorry you didn't have such a good life. If you told Macy and I, we would have helped," I said. "I really cared for both of you."

I stop in front of Macy's house. "Thanks," she says. And she hugs me as we go up to Macy's house.

Macy squeals as she sees us both. "I missed you guys both so much!" she yelled as I see her mother in the background rolling her eyes.

"Goddamn it Macy," her mom says jokingly. : Don't scared you're friends away." Lily smiles as I chuckle. Her mom slowly sips her beer. Macy rolls her eyes and shrugs as she takes out outside in her backyard on the swing.

Lily and her just talk on and on. "How are you?" Macy asked Lily.

"I'm better than I am before," she says softly.

"So the baby is healthy? You're healthy? How's therapy going?" Macy asked.

"Yes, the baby is healthy," Lily says proudly. "It's July and I did it in April. So I'm three months like Nessie. Our due dates are around the same time." I just nod with that. "Therapy is actually fun. I really do look forward to it. But I still know I really need it."

"That's good," Macy says nodding. "What did you talk about today?"

"Memories," was what she said. "Macy, if you could be anyone you know, who would it be?"

"Renesmee of course," she says.

"Why does everyone want to be me?" I ask.

Macy and Lily look down saying nothing. "You're just amazing," was what Macy said. "I kept telling myself I shouldn't be jealous of you. But you were always jealous of me." I just nod. For the rest of time, we just keep on talking and talking.

My phone starts to ring. It was Jacob's house phone. I answer. "Hello," I say softly.

"It's me Billy," Jacob's dad says. "I don't know if you still care about Jacob but there was an accident from where he was in a plane. And he was in that plane. And I don't know if he is okay," he says quickly.

"Oh my gosh," I say softly. "Do you think he's okay?" The tears came out, I was crying over Jacob once again. He probably didn't even care. He probably doesn't even care about me. Billy ask if I can come over. "I'll be there soon."

Macy looks at me. "I'm sorry. I have to make sure Jacob is okay and everything is fine with his dad." Macy groans and rolls her eyes. But she totally understands. Lily nods. They know I still love him and care about him. No matter what he thinks of me?

"Go," says Macy. "I hope he is okay." I nod, appreciating about what she was saying. I drive to Billy's. We just sit there in silence, not saying one word to each other. I just look at the ground waiting for the call.

In about three hours, a call comes in. They say Jacob is okay, he just has a few injuries. "So Ness, what exactly happened between you and Jacob? Jacob won't tell my anything, he doesn't want to ever speak of you again."

"Well, he broke up with me because he thought I was cheating on him," I say as he nods listening to every word he was saying. "But I'm not. He thinks I was cheating on him with one of his best friends, Seth. But month after we broke up, I went on dates with him for about a month but then he broke up with me for some reasons."

"Oh," he says. Should I tell him?

I never did tell him about me being pregnant. We talked for a few more minutes and then I left back to Macy's.

The rest of the weekend we did tons of things. But before we knew it, it was over and she left.


	41. Chapter 40 Seth's Picture

**Seth's Picture **

**Chapter 40 **

_"The most ordinary things could be made extraordinary." **~Nicholas Sparks, the Lucky One~**_

I am six months pregnant now. I've been saving up for a house to stay in for Seattle because of my work. I've been teaching people piano there mostly. There summer camps were amazing. They actually have a small school during the year for two hours of music every day.

Lily was doing okay. She was starting to just eat and grab food. She was looking better. She went through court for her mom. Her mom was put in rehab because you could tell by looking at her she was drugged up and drunk. After she gets better, she'll be going in jail for five year for the abuse done on Lily. Lily's been living with us still. She's somewhat addicted to drugs. When she is having a bad day, she has withdrawal symptoms. She's been going to therapy and I can tell she is improving. I am so happy for her. She's starting to look and act like her regular self.

Work is been busy, but life has been going smoothly. I was in my work office doing paperwork when my phone rang. "Hey," I say seeing it was Lily.

"Hi," she says. "Okay, is it fine if I unpack this one box full of your stuff and put my stuff in it?" she asks. I tell her sure. "Also, when is our appointment?"

"This Friday when I get home from work," I reply still doing the paperwork.

"Okay, I know we agreed to wait to find out what sex our babies are but it is fine if I find out this Friday? I can't wait anymore!"

"It's okay, but I'm waiting," I say.

"Okay thanks, have fun at work," she says as we both hang up. My boss walks through the door.

"So you look very pregnant," he says as I just smile and nod. "Anyways that's not what I wanted to talk about. But do you know the sex of it?"

"No, I'm waiting. I want a surprise. But I have names picked out. Jacob Emprim, for the boy. For the girl, I'm going to name her Lily Rose, after my friend for first name. Rose is from my aunt. The name for the boy is from his father."

"Exciting," he says. "Have you got the paperwork done?"

"Just ten more minutes and I'll be done, I just have a few more," I say.

My boss says, "Good. After this you can leave."

"Thank-you," I say. In ten minutes I hand the paperwork to him, and I'm off to home early. I'm so glad I can do this. I find Lily looking at this picture with a empty box in front of her. "Are you okay?"

"This is they guy!" she shouted.

"What?"

"This is the guy I had sex with."

I come and sit down by her, looking at the picture. It was Seth. I gasp. "Oh my god," I say. "I dated him for about a month."

"Really?" she questions as I nod.

"Wait, if he was having sex with you around the same time I and Jacob did. That means he wasn't visiting his family. He must have been in Florida! And you guys came across each other. This must be why he was acting all weird when he came back to New York."

"Whatever," Lily says. "What's his name?"

"He lived here, you know him. He's Seth Clearwater." Lily stares at me looking all freaked out. "I'm not joking one bit Lily. I swear to god." Lily breathes really hard. "It's okay. I'll call him for you."

"Would you?" I just nod. "Do it, now!" I start to call Seth.

"Hello," he says.

"It's me Renesmee."

"What the hell do you want?" He seems mad.

"You lied to me," I say. "In April you didn't visit your family, you went to Florida."

"This matters because?" he questions.

"You had sex with someone there. Don't lie because I know who that person is."

"Okay I did!"

"It was with Lily, my best friend!"

"Okay I'm sorry."

I looked at Lily wondering if I can tell him and she nods slowly as she cries. "Well…she's pregnant, with your kid. And if you want to see and be part of this child of yours, be here before Friday. If you aren't, we know you want nothing with this child. Bye." I don't wait for his answer, I just hang up.

Friday came, and Seth wasn't here. But we were in the doctor's office waiting for our appointment. "Oh my god, I'm so excited!" Lily squealed quietly. She had a really big smile on her face which made me smile.

"So, picked your names yet?" I questioned.

"No," she says. "I'm still trying to find the right one. But knowing if it is a girl or a boy will help me pick the names." I just nod smiling at her, glad she was excited for her unborn baby.

We both get in the doctor's office, finally. "So, you both are six months pregnant now. Where had the time went?"

"No idea," says Lily softly. He started with Lily. He was looking and took pictures. Lily had a huge smile.

"So would you like to know if your baby is a girl or a boy?"

"Oh my god, yes!" she yelled a little to loud as he chuckles.

"Well, you are having a baby boy Lily." Lily smiles. I knew she would be excited either way. She was telling me how she didn't care if she had a girl or boy. She was just really excited to have a kid. Lily thought she would never have a kid, this made her really excited.

Then he moved onto me. He got everything done. "Would you like to know the sex?"

"No thanks."

"Okay, I would like to add. There may be a possibility that there may be two of them. I can't really tell at the moment if it is one big one. Or one hiding behind another. We should be able to tell in a month or so."

"What!" I said. "Are you saying I might be having twins?" The doctors nods. "Oh my god, that's great buy such a big surprise."

"My best friend may be having twins!" shouted Lily once we were in the car. "But oh my fucking god! I'm having a baby boy! I'm so excited! Sorry. I need to stop cussing, get out of drugs, and I need to be a good example towards my child!"

"Lily calm down!" I shout laughing. "I'm excited for you. We'll tell Macy when we get home," I say as Lily nods smiling like crazy. Once we were there, I saw a familiar car. Lily looks at it. We both get out of the car. Seth comes out of it.

"Hey," he says. Lily looks down thinking this was crazy. "How are you both?" This was just too awkward.

"We're good," I say. "You?"

"I'm fine."

"Fine means you're fucked up," said Lily. Seth gives her a look.

"Lily," I say.

"Sorry, but when you say you're fine, you're really not. This is what I'm learning in therapy!" she yelled smiling. I just shake my head. "And I messed up by cursing again!" Seth smiles.

It stayed silent till Seth said, "Well, do you know if it is a boy or girl?"

"Boy," says Lily. "I'm excited." He looks toward me.

"Surprise, but doctor says I might be having twins."

"Does Jake know?"

"If he read the letter I sent him." Seth just looks down.

"I want to be part of the baby's life Lily," Seth said. "I don't want leave you as a single mom struggling like you are now. I got a good job. I can transfer to Seattle and we can move in together."

"I don't know if I can do that," Lily says. "I'm not ready."

"You have to be ready in like three months!" he snapped.

"I mean I'm not ready to be without Renesmee, she's always been there with me."

"Where was she when you're parents divorced?" he asked. "Remember the night we spent together. You called her a bitch for abandoning both of you!"

"Shut up," Lily says.

"What about the time when she called you a slut!"

"Shut up!" yelled Lily.

"Seth!" I yelled. But he kept on talking and throwing mistakes in her. "SETH! SHUT UP!" I screamed. "Lily, go inside and find my mom." Lily runs inside as I see tears streaming down her face. "If you think you're helping her, you're not!" I yell at him.

Seth looks at me. "You deserve to know the truth."

"I don't want the truth from me you! A bitch like you! You're hurting her. She was having a breakdown there! Now my mom is talking to her! Lily is probably throwing around everything looking for the drugs! She's been going to therapy for some months! She's trying to get better! If you're going to get in the way of that! Leave!" I yell at him.

"If I don't," I say.

"Don't throw mistakes in her face! She's been going through a lot," I say. "I don't need another problem added on her. Right now, I care for her health and the baby. She doesn't need a guy right now. She needs some friends. Don't ask her to move in with you. Be her friend, get her trust, and help with the baby. Please. Just help her." Seth looks at the ground and nods as I hug him.


	42. Chapter 41 Labor

**Labor **

**Chapter 41**

_Year 2014 _

**_After hard work, we deserve something good. ~Brooke~ (Me)_**

It was a beginning of a new year. I and Lily had big round stomachs. It was the month of January where our babies would be born. I moved to Seattle, she lived with me. But now she wasn't worrying about drugs. She was fine.

Right now, we would be going in labor soon. It was only a week till due dates. So we took a month off from work. Lily worked at a coffee shop, Seth worked with cars, and I worked in the music program. We all lived together in a nice size house where the kids could all fit.

The doctor told me I was only having one kid, but I wasn't so sure if I believe that. We all been paying rent, help clean up the house, get the baby rooms ready, and making food. I and Lily were ready to have kids. Macy wanted to come to Washington, but she is really busy with soccer. Macy has been telling us of how she thinks Embry is going to purpose to her soon.

Ally got married which was exciting. I was very happy about that. Soon enough it was almost our due dates. I was walking around the house. Seth was helping us both out since we were both really pregnant.

Honestly, I don't think Seth was really okay with this. Since he was my ex and Lily was carrying his baby. Plus that we're both friends. I don't think he likes living with me, but he is only here for Lily but he'll help out in anything.

Lily was on the couch reading her book on how to take care of a baby, for the thousandth time which was getting pretty annoying to me. I don't think she really noticed. All she did was worry if she would be a good or bad mom. But of course I kept on telling her that she would be a wonderful mom. But I still kept on reassuring her because she is really worried.

"Matthew or Luke?" she questions to Seth.

"I say Joshua."

"No!" she yelled. They were both still trying to pick out a name for the baby. "I hate that name and I'm never naming my child that name!"

"I'm definitely not naming our child Luke," Seth said.

"What about Matthew?" she asked. "We can call him Matt for short."

"How about this?" Seth questioned. "Matthew Josh Clearwater."

"Really?" Lily questioned.

"Yes," he said. "You get the name you want. Since you won't allow Joshua, I put it in the short way, Josh. Doesn't that sound good?"

"I don't like the name Josh or anything to do with that name!"

I burst out laughing. "What!" Seth looked towards me. "What the hell is so funny?"

"You guys act like a married couple," I say. "You guys bicker like every five seconds. I like the name Matthew Josh Clearwater. It flows nicely. One thing I love about being a single parent is that I can name my child whatever I want with no argument."

"Well Ness, I don't really agree with the name Jacob," said Lily. "I mean why would you name him after your ex?"

"Shut up," I say.

"I totally agree with the girl's name. Lily Rose. I love it. I love how it is two flowers too, she'll be a pretty girl." I just smile.

"So…about the name?" asked Seth.

"I guess it is okay, we'll name him Matthew Josh Clearwater," said Lily. "Oh my god, you're right Nessie. It flows nicely." I nod and agree.

Three days later I was making breakfast like I usually do every morning. Seth already left off to work for today. He tried getting two weeks off but when they really needed him, he would come in otherwise he had two weeks off.

Lily comes in and sits down at the kitchen table. She was breathing harder than normally. "I think my water broke," she said calmly.

"What?" I questioned.

"Nessie, I think I'm having the baby," she said as I looked wide eyed at her. "Now."

"I'll call Seth," I say quickly. Seth answers right away. "Are you close to the house?"

"Yea, about five minutes. Why?"

"Come home now, Lily thinks she's having the baby. She's pretty calm right now." Seth starts to drive back as he said he would. "Just breath Lily, don't freak out."

Seth was back soon as he could and we got her to the hospitable. She was going to have her baby. Lily screamed a little but tried not too. I didn't really understand what was going on but she wanted me and Seth in the room with her.

But we had to wait till she was dilated to ten. Lily didn't want to waste her energy screaming so she was just breathing. "You're doing great," Seth said. By ten pm that night, the doctors said she needed to push.

I held her hand. "You're going to do fine." Lily nods as the doctor tells her to push. At ten twenty one, on January 16, Matthew Josh Clearwater was born.

Four days later she came home and today was my due date. I was going to be late. But oh well, life goes on. A day passed by.

It happened during the middle of the night. I was in labor for about twenty four hours At eleven ten my baby son was born. But another surprise happened. The doctor made a mistake, I was having two kids.

"The cord is wrapped around her other kid," said the doctor. "We need to cut her open now!"

Around eleven twenty seven, my baby girl was born. It was such a joy to find out.


	43. Chapter 42 Life

**Life **

**Chapter 42**

_Eight Years Later _

_Year 2022_

_"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching." **~Unknown~**_

"Seth has been working like twenty four seven. It's killing me," says Lily. "I mean he is suppose to be there for me at all times in time of needs like we promised at our wedding."

"Lily, you never promised that," I said on the phone.

"Well we should have." I chuckle. "Oh my god, did you hear about Macy?"

"Yes, I heard, she's pregnant for the third time," I said. "I'm think I'm going to visit her over spring break with Jacob and Lily."

"Aw…you're so sweet about taking me."

"I wasn't taking you though, I was taking my child." Lily laughs. "Well gotta go, I'll see you when I drop off you're child." I hang up with Lily as go and pick up the kids.

When I get to the parking lot, late like always, and I see the kids. But this time, there is a teacher, a different teacher. He looks really familiar. He had that tan skin, like the la push boys. I just needed to see his face.

I see the kids running towards my car and opening it up. I try to see the guy's face but I miss it and turn towards my kids. "Who was that?"

"Mr. Black," said Matt. "He is so cool and funny. He's saying for the last two months of school!"

Jacob Black. It could be someone totally different. His first name is probably not even Jacob. It'll be okay. He was probably gone forever. "Guess what mom," said my son Jacob. "His name is Jacob too. Isn't that funny?"

"Yea, hilarious." Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I just kept repeating in my head. We got to Lily's house. "We're going inside today," I say as the kids get all excited. I run inside to Lily as I see Seth there.

I wait for the kids to go running. "You look worried," Seth commented.

"Is it possible that I could run in the same Jacob Black I dated like ten years ago?" I asked Lily.

Lily looks at me. "What are you saying?"

"Well I think he is sub for our kid's teacher. And oh my god! He looked like the La Push guys if you know what I'm saying. The kids told me his name was Jacob Black. But I didn't see his face! Could there be two?"

They both shrug. I just needed to relax. A month later, I tried to ignore it all till my son Jacob handed me a paper. "What is this?" I asked.

Jacob Black wanted me to speak to him about his studies and everything tomorrow after school. Maybe I would finally find out if this was The Jacob Black.

The next day came and I got out of the car. "You three, go play, I just need to talk to you're teacher," I tell them softly.

"Hello, I'm Jacob Black," he said and held out his hand. I saw his face, it was the guy I dated forever ago. "You are?"

I didn't mean to say these words but they kind of just came out. "Oh my god, it's really you," I say. "I'm sorry."

"Renesmee?" he questioned. I just look at him and nod slowly. It was quiet. "Awkward," he mumbled.

"Anyways," I say. "What about Jacob?"

"He's struggling in math," he says softly.

"Okay I'll work on that with him."

"Wait, if you're kids have the name Black, aren't they mine?"

"Complicated, can we talk in more of a private area?"

"In an hour at coffee shop?" I nod.

I confess everything to Lily, scared out of my mind but I needed to tell the truth to him.

"So…" he said once we where there.

"They're you're children," I blurt. "Lily and Jacob. Matthew is Lily's and Seth's child. And I never cheated on you. I tried telling you I was pregnant, did you ever get the last letter?"

"Yes, but I burned it," he said softly. "So you never cheated on me?"

"It was all a misunderstanding."

"I probably should have listened to you," Jacob said. "We probably-," I stop him.

"We can start over," I said. "I've always loved you."

"I would like that," he says as I nod smiling.


	44. Epilogue

Epilogue

_Seven Years Later _

_Year 2029 _

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight  
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright  
No, I don't wanna mess this thing up  
I don't wanna push too far  
Just a shot in the dark that you just might  
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life  
So baby I'm alright  
With just a kiss goodnight_

**_Just a Kiss by Lady Antebellum_**

Our first date after many years of being broken up, we kissed which brought all the reason of why we loved each other. Just that one kiss. That year we were married.

I and Jacob got back together, and happy. Our children are growing up very nicely. Jacob is getting very protective over Lily because she is starting to notice boys. But life has gone smoothly, and I would never trade it for anything.

I really do love the life I have.


	45. Author Note

**I would like to just say I loved writing this story and it was amazing. I loved it. Whoever reads this, I hope you like it and I know there are alot mistakes in this story and I probably will not fix them. But please give me advice and everything. Just feedback. **

**I have no desire to write a sequel to this, no desire. But maybe if you guys encourage me I might write a sequel. It will be about their kids and it'll explain what happened to Renesmee's family like her cousins. Also her friends since I left them out. So it would wrap up everything with their kids and that would be the ending. There would be no sequel but I really have no desire to write it unless you all encourage me to. **

**But I will be writing a prequel to this! I am writing Sarah's Journal (Jacob's Mom). That is what I will be writing and after that I have a couple other stories planned, just a couple. That's all! **


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